Movie Review: 'The Legend of Hercules'

Zero stars
99 minutes
Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense combat action and violence, and for some sensuality
Summit Entertainment

Article first published as Movie Review: 'The Legend of Hercules' on Blogcritics.

It seems like there are always movies opening within months of each other featuring the exact same plot, with one always being way better than the other. Last year, we saw two movies centered on terrorists taking over the White House in Olympus Has Fallen and White House Down. This year, we’ll have two very different takes on the heroics of Hercules. While we may have to wait until July to see Dwayne Johnson as the titular son of Zeus, for now be warned that Twilight’s Kellan Lutz is the title character in The Legend of Hercules.

In 1200 B.C., King Amphitryon (Scott Adkins) has just defeated Argos in the name of Queen Alcmene (Roxanne McKee) for its gold. Alcmene finds her husband’s actions to be rather unruly and seeks out help at the foot of a Zeus statue. She prays to the god to offer her a chance to birth a child that will one day grow to defeat Amphitryon and save the land from tyranny. Soon enough, Alcmene is with child and births a baby boy named Hercules. Amphitryon smells betrayal on his wife and 20 years later sends Hercules (Lutz) to battle in Egypt and die, only to be taken in by Lucius (Kenneth Cranham) as a fighter, Gladiator style. Now, Hercules must return home to defeat his father with Sotiris (Liam McIntyre) by his side, to save the love of his life, Hebe (Gaia Weiss), from being forced to marry his half-brother Iphicles (Liam Garrigan) and reclaim the land from his step-father.

Oh boy, where to even begin—as if the plot isn’t convoluted enough. I suppose all the blame usually falls on the director. And boy, has this director fallen. Renny Harlin was one of the top action directors at one point, but looking back now he only has three actually good action films under his belt: Die Hard 2, Cliffhanger, and The Long Kiss Goodnight. I can’t help but wonder if his name is more synonymous with being married to Geena Davis, who together produced the pirate flop Cutthroat Island. Anyway, there’s nothing on display here to show Harlin’s action background. If anything, Zack Snyder should have gotten a co-directing mention considering all the slow motion shots.

I haven’t even mentioned the 3D! You could call this 3D porn with how many spears and arrows Harlin throws at the screen. There also seemed to be a lot of stuff blowing in the air back in 1200 B.C. This is, without a doubt one, of the worst 3D conversions since Clash of the Titans. While technology has come a long way, this sends it back to the Stone Age. Beware any form of burning torch or fire pit if you attend a 3D viewing. I literally could not look at the screen in some scenes. One wide shot of a crowd winds up looking like a magic eye puzzle.

There’s also a throwaway line that made me laugh till I cried when a soldier blurts, “Out of my way woman.” This is saying something, considering how much laughing I did through the whole thing. The cast is either set on autopilot or overdrive. Garrigan and Adkins, in particular, chew scenery like they’re at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Weirdly, Hercules only has his God-like powers when it’s convenient to the plot. Disney’s animated feature was a better retelling than this. I’m literally wasting words here however. All you really need to know is that 2014 is off to a dismal start when The Legend of Hercules kicks things off with what will probably be one of the funniest movies of the year—even if unintentionally.

Photos courtesy Summit Entertainment

Movie Review: 'Lone Survivor'

**** 1/2 out of 5
121 minutes
Rated R for strong bloody war violence and pervasive language
Universal Pictures
 
Article first published as Movie Review: 'Lone Survivor' on Blogcritics.

It was pretty surprising when Universal Pictures announced they would be screening the new Mark Wahlberg film Lone Survivor before press circles’ annual voting—along with a limited opening to secure it as Oscar bait. Judging by the trailer, it just doesn’t seem like the type of movie to generate the type of buzz associated with the coveted awards show. Having seen Peter Berg’s adaptation of Marcus Luttrell’s accounts of his Navy SEAL mission in Afghanistan, my mind is completely changed. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to survive the unrelenting brutality of Lone Survivor.

The mission of Lone Survivor was Operation Red Wings, which involved staking out the village where Taliban member Ahmed Shahd (Yousuf Azami) resides and taking him out. HM1 Luttrell (Wahlberg) heads into the Afghani mountainside along with LT Michael P. Murphy (Taylor Kitsch), GM2 Danny Dietz (Emile Hirsch), and ST2 Matthew Axelson (Ben Foster) to complete the mission. While waiting for orders, the group encounters three shepherds. Luttrell and Murphy use the rules of engagement to convince Dietz and Axelson to let them go, and sure enough, the three are members of the Taliban, alert the village to the intrusion, and now SEAL Team 10 are on their own for the fight of their lives.

Anyone who doesn’t know how the film is going to end has obviously ignored what the film is called. We are again reminded of how things will sadly end in the very first scene. However, as with all good films, it’s not how it ends, it’s how you get there. For anyone who thought Berg directed Battleship for the paycheck, you’re right. It is known that Berg directed that film in order to bring this harrowing tale of survival to the big screen. It may seem like the set-up takes a little too long to get to the meat of the story, but how else are you going to feel for the troops as they’re hunted through the wilderness? And the two hour runtime flies by.

With cinematographer Tobias A. Schliessler, Berg finally delivers a film with action scenes where you can tell what’s going on. Along with an astounding sound effects team and editing by Colby Parker Jr.—not to mention the grisly special effects courtesy of Howard Berger and Greg Nicotero—they turn the soldiers’ slaughter into a two-hour version of the Omaha Beach sequence from Saving Private Ryan. Lone Survivor is packed with amazing action and I won’t be surprised to see it pop up in at least a few categories come Oscar time, even if mostly in the technical categories.

Photo courtesy Universal Pictures

Blu-ray Review: 'Throne of Blood' - The Criterion Collection

Article first published as Blu-ray Review: 'Throne of Blood' - The Criterion Collection on Blogcritics.

When a film is nearing its 60^th anniversary, and comes from the legendary Akira Kurosawa, it’s difficult to spend time picking apart a film like Throne of Blood; especially when it doesn’t need it. While it may be an adaptation of Shakespeare’s Macbeth, it’s the transplanting of the story to feudal Japan that makes it possibly the best film adaptation of Macbeth. Infused with a spectacular use of Noh theatricalities, Kurosawa elevates the material, keeping the characters completely grounded in their own time period, while still managing his own epic sense of storytelling. The Criterion Collection does Kurosawa proud once again with their release of Throne of Blood available now on Blu-ray. Criterion is also now offering dual-format releases which includes a DVD copy as well.

In this version of Macbeth, samurai Washizu (Toshiro Mifune) and Miki (Akira Kubo), make their way to the castle of Lord Tsuzuki (Takamura Sasaki). Upon their travels, the two become lost in the immense surrounding forest and come across a spirit (Chieko Naniwa), who prophesizes that Washizu will eventually become Lord of the Spider’s Castle, but so too will Miki’s son. As the prophecy begins to unfold, Washizu’s wife Asaji (Isuzu Yamada) warns her husband that should Tsuzuki learn of the prophecy, he would be sent to death. Eventually, Washizu winds up on the bitter end of the prophecy, a destiny he cannot avoid.

Criterion presents Throne of Blood in black and white, framed in its original aspect ratio of 1.37:1 on a 50GB disc. The good news here is that this is an incredibly detailed picture. Restored in 2K, every piece of scratched armor, whipping flag, swirling dust, rolling fog, bending trees, pouring rain, fluttering feather, and facial features are delivered perfectly. Even the fresh blood on Washizu’s spear sparkles appropriately; something probably never seen before with the standard definition of DVD. While there are the inherent soft shots, this is the best Throne of Blood has undoubtedly ever looked. Criterion may have done their best to scrub up the picture, no DNR has been used, nor has the image been artificially sharpened.

Grain is always evident and there were no anomalies to speak of. There may still be plenty of scratches, dirt, stray hairs, and vertical lines, but this is one healthy picture. Depth extends throughout, with blacks nice and inky but never cause crush or lack of shadow detail. Contrast remains stable with no instances of strobing or clipping. This is another addition to the fine Blu-ray releases of Kurosawa from Criterion. With only one audio track in the way of a Japanese LPCM 1.0 mono, all things sound as fantastic as it looks. Dialogue remains stable, presenting every line crystal clear. The flute is more piercing than ever, making my dogs perk their heads up every time. A set of subtitles are available from two different translators: one from Japanese-film translator Linda Haoglund and another from Kurosawa expert Donald Richie.

The special features are limited but definitely add to the film experience as is always the case with a Criterion release. A 23-minute documentary kicks things off from the Toho Masterworks series: Akira Kurosawa: It Is Wonderful to Create. Narrated by Masayuki Yui, and featuring interviews with Kurosawa himself, he tells us, “A truly good movie is interesting and easy to understand.” Something he takes to heart in adapting something like Shakespeare. We also get to hear from production designer Yoshiro Muraki, Noh performer Mitsuhiro Honda, and even actress Isuzu Yamada. A commentary track from Japanese-film expert Michael Jeck is extremely informative and fun. Tim Lucas could learn a thing or two for his Mario Bava commentaries for Kino. Commentaries don’t need to be so planned out and sound like they’re reading a script. Also included is a reprint of the booklet from the 2003 Criterion DVD release featuring Stephen Price and the two translators: Hoaglund and Richie.

Anyone who is a film fan should have an appreciation for Akira Kurosawa’s body of work and Criterion has done him proud once again with their Blu-ray release of Throne of Blood. As is always the case, the video and audio are presented with stellar results and the extras only add to the enjoyment of the film. Adding this to one’s collection is a no-brainer.

Blu-ray Review: 'Big Ass Spider!'

Article first published as Blu-ray Review: 'Big Ass Spider!' on Blogcritics.

As much as I love a good B-movie, the overabundance is a little overwhelming. With the SyFy channel to blame for most of this — Sharknado, Sharktopus, and Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus — but most of them take themselves too seriously to be as fun as they think they are, and only as dumb as they really are. Tremors is probably the last true classic of the genre, with the film’s tongue planted firmly in cheek. Now, a new creature has crawled out of the SXSW Film Festival to take over the reins in the form of Big Ass Spider!, making its Blu-ray debut on January 7.

The opening scene immediately sets the tone for what’s to come as blue-collar Western Exterminator Alex Mathis (Greg Grunberg) awakens amidst panic in the streets of Los Angeles while the big ass spider is wreaking havoc. Cutting to 12 hours earlier we find out how it all started as a body is brought into a hospital’s morgue where the arachnid has been feeding off the deceased. Major Braxton Tanner (Ray Wise), Lieutenant Karly Bryant (Clare Kramer), and Professor Exposition, err, Lucas (Patrick Bauchau), immediately step in to quarantine the hospital to find the spider who has escaped from a science lab. Now, Alex, along with his self-appointed side kick Jose Ramos (Lombardo Boyar), must find the big ass spider’s eggs before they hatch and take over the world.

Big Ass Spider! may be the first feature released by Epic Pictures Group, but they deliver their debut Blu-ray release with pretty stellar results. While it may be on a 25GB disc, the cheap visuals and short extras keep the picture looking healthy. Filmed with the Red MX camera, detail is perfect in nearly every shot, with even medium shots delivering every pore, wrinkle, or hair with exact sharpness. One suit worn by the hospital director does come across with a faint shimmer whenever he’s moving around. While it may show how low-budget the film is, it also lends to the winking nature. I never noticed any banding, crush, or noise, but in low lit scenes the blacks take on a more muted look. A 5.1 Dolby True-HD track pits you right in the middle of the action as well with surrounds providing ample ambiance whether its musical cues in the “scary” parts or in the midst of an action sequence with plenty of LFE activity. An optional 2.0 track is available. Oddly, there are no subtitles.

The included extras may not be overwhelming, but are just as fun as the movie. A commentary track titled “Stars Greg Grunberg and Lombardo Boyar Tell Director Mike Mendez How They Really Feel About Him” kicks things off hilariously. The three obviously had a fantastic time recording the track and deliver some side-splitting production stories. Mendez points out his father’s screen debut and they all praise the mystery spider wrangler they hired who works at a McDonald’s. Mendez also thanks Western Exterminator for donating a truck and a suit for Grunberg to wear. “Interviews with the Cast” runs a quick 83 seconds featuring Grunberg, Boyar, and Kramer. “SXSW Featurette” shows us the premiere of the film in Austin with Mendez and Boyar in tow. The theatrical trailer, an international trailer, and a TV spot round things out.

With a film titled Big Ass Spider! it better deliver on its promise, and I promise you that the film is one of the most hilarious films that didn’t get a wide release in 2013. Full of hilarious one-liners and a brilliant performance from Boyar in particular, you’ll laugh from beginning to end. Grunberg is a very likable lead, making the most of his part, and showing he’s more than just another J.J. Abrams crony. Mendez has delivered upon Gregory Gieras’ screenplay and even packs in some great cameos; most noticeably Lloyd Kaufman who knows a thing or two about making these kinds of films. Running a scant 80 minutes, Big Ass Spider! is one big ass comedy that will find repeat viewings in its future and is one blind buy you won’t regret.

Blu-ray Review: 'Badges of Fury'

Article first published as Blu-ray Review: 'Badges of Fury' on Blogcritics.

When you see Jet Li on the cover of a Blu-ray these days, don’t let it fool you into thinking he’s the star. As is the case in the new action-comedy Badges of Fury, he may be playing one of the main characters, but he’s never given much to do. And unfortunately, first-time director Wong Tsz Ming relies too much on CGI-laden wirework when Li and the rest of the cast are more than capable of fight scenes far better than what we’re given here. The trailers also never give any indication that the film’s tone is more like Stephen Chow-lite, making Badges of Fury heavy on the comedy, including lots of camera mugging, slapstick, and cartoon sound effects. Not the first thing one expects when they pop in a new Jet Li film.

Li plays second fiddle as Huang Fei Hong to Wen Zhang’s Wang Bu Er, both detectives on the Hong Kong police force. A series of deaths called the “smile murders” puts them on the case hunting down a serial killer. Angela (Michelle Chen) is their superior who wants the murderer found, leading them to Liu Jin Shui (Liu Shishi), who was engaged to all of the men before they died. Turns out, all of the men signed her over as their insurance beneficiary before being killed; policies pushed upon them by Liu’s sister Dai Yiyi (Ada Liu). Now, Wang and Huang must track down the real killer before a few more of Liu’s love interests bite the bullet.

As with all Well Go USA titles, Badges of Fury kicks its way onto Blu-ray on a 25GB disc. The expected transfer shines through with the film presented in its 2.39:1 aspect ratio. Detail is high and colors are natural. No noise is found with blacks nice and inky, never giving way to crush either. The faintest aliasing could be seen in very few and quick instances, something only a reviewer would ever notice. All things said, it’s another top-notch transfer. The audio is lively and active as well, something to be expected in an action movie. The Mandarin 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio delivers all the dialogue cleanly, never drowning it out when the surrounds kick in with music and sound effects. An English dub track is also available in 5.1 DTS-HD, with optional English, Spanish, and French subtitles.

The special features are sparse with a “Making Of” consisting of behind the scenes footage and on set antics. The featurette is broken up into four parts: “The Guys,” “The Girls,” “Wen Zhang Action Film,” and “Funny Stuff.” They play as one feature if you select “Making Of.” A 13-minute “Behind the Scenes” is more of the same. Cast and crew talk about how much fun they’re having; something that could have been used to make the film more infectious to viewers. A trailer rounds things out.

The film flies fast and furious with zany antics, including referencing Infernal Affairs, and a group of Men in Black-types discuss a case of Jet Li film piracy before saying that Huang looks awfully familiar. The cast is game for the jokes, it’s just too bad director Wong doesn’t have the hilarious eye Stephen Chow has to nail a joke. It’s even more upsetting how much wirework is used considering the cast. Even Collin Chou is wasted in what winds up being a single scene cameo. Relying on cartoonish effects both visually and audibly, Wong drowns the viewer in a wacky hodgepodge that’s never as funny as it thinks it is. The whole endeavor just made me want to pop in the classic Kung Fu Hustle instead. However, as silly as it all is, at least you’re never bored. A rental isn’t discouraged, but purchase at your own risk. Check your expectations at the door and remember that Badges of Fury is a wacky comedy, not a brutal fight-to-the-finish.

Blu-ray Review: 'Nightmare City'

Article first published as Blu-ray Review: 'Nightmare City' on Blogcritics.

While there are still many, many classic films awaiting to be released on Blu-ray, distributors definitely know what sells: horror. And one distributor knows better than others that genre fans want older classic titles as much as—and maybe more—than anything released in recent years. Let’s face it, they don’t make ‘em like they used to, for better and worse. In the case of Kino Lorber, they may keep churning out the hits with their Mario Bava Collection, but also find the time for some rather interesting titles as well, namely the films of Jesús Franco. Just in time for the new year, Kino’s offshoot RaroVideo brings us the fun Umberto Lenzi cheesefest Nightmare City (Incubo sulla città contaminata).

In Nightmare City, we find television journalist Dean Miller (Hugo Stiglitz) on the beat at an airfield where an unmarked military plane is about to touch down. The TV has been talking about a radiation leak where the plane has just come from and inside holds a gang of infested zombie-like creations. Armed with guns, knives, hatches, and bared teeth, the zombies begin to overrun the city. Miller must find his wife, Dr. Anna Miller (Laura Trotter), before she falls prey to the zombie outbreak while General Murchison of Civil Defense (Mel Ferrer) denies any attempt at action to take out the zombies. Everything comes to a head a la Zombieland as the couple head to an abandoned amusement park to make their last stand.

Nightmare City lurches onto Blu-ray with a particularly slick-looking transfer. A lack of HD extras help make the film fit perfectly on a 25GB disc in its original 2.35:1 aspect ratio. Colors look very strong with detail shedding extra light on the now-cheap looking special effects. Blood is the bright red we expect from a low budget, where it always looks like paint. The image is never super-sharp, but doesn’t appear to have been smothered with any kind of DNR. Kino releases are known for the whiplash quality, and this one falls somewhere in the middle.

Grain is nowhere to be seen, but at least neither is noise, banding, or aliasing. The fact that all of the film takes place during the day also makes sure that crush is completely absent. As for the sound, we surprisingly get treated to a linear PCM stereo 2.0 track. Available in both English and Italian (I opted for English, seeing how it was filmed that way) and aside from some dubbing issues, there’s nothing to complain about. Subtitles come in both Italian and English. Music, dialogue, and scream all come through without the overabundance of hissing or pops. The video and audio here are the best the film probably ever has, and ever will, look. Something to be expected from any form of Kino Blu-ray.

Nightmare City doesn’t include a plethora of extras, but the highlight would definitely have to be a 49-minute interview with Umberto Lenzi filmed in Rome, back in 2000. He admits that his memory of the production is “so-so,” but at least explains that he never wanted his creatures to be either zombies nor vampires. Considering all the talk of radiation throughout the film, and that these are some mighty fast shufflers, they fall into the category of 28 Days/Weeks Later. Trailers are the only other disc feature and are available in both English or Italian. A fully-illustrated booklet on the genesis and production of the film is inside the case, written by Fangoria Magazine writer Chris Alexander, and is extremely informative.

Horror fans can rest easy with the Blu-ray release of Nightmare City and it’s an easy blind-buy for anyone who loves all things zombie-related. Overloaded with cheese—one character replies to another simply by saying, “Words.”—and the ending will make you giggle as the credits begin to roll and you realize the fast one Lenzi pulled on unsuspecting audiences back in 1980. Today it would be considered a cheat—and believe me, plenty of films have tried to pull it off—but in a horror film we can be more forgiving because you’ve already been treated to the expected carnage. Nightmare City is another log on the fire of the ever-increasing supply of horror films seeing the light of day in HD after being buried on bootlegged DVDs and is worth the price if you can find it for less than the $29.99 Amazon is asking.

DVD Review: 'Cassadaga'

Article first published as DVD Review: 'Cassadaga' on Blogcritics.

Some movies can get away with spilling their entire plotline in the opening few minutes. Edgar Wright’s Shaun of the Dead and The World’s End are the first two films that come to mind that do this without the audience even knowing until they watch either film again. In the case of the new wannabe-thriller Cassadaga, director Anthony DiBlasi could learn a thing a two from both Wright and anyone else who’s ever heard of foreshadowing. In the film world of Cassadaga, it doesn’t take a psychic to figure out exactly what’s going to happen over the way-too-long 112 minutes.

If there’s one thing really scary for characters in a horror film, it would be the loss of a sense. For poor Lily (Kelen Coleman), her handicap is being deaf. She can read lips and knows sign language of course, but if you can’t guess that her inability to hear isn’t going to be used to put her in danger, you need to watch more movies. Lily is a teacher who is on her way to adopting young Michele (Sarah Sculco) and after Michele graduates they are heading to Paris. Michele tells Lily about being bullied in school so Lily gives her a necklace with the Eiffel Tower on it that has a small dagger hidden inside. (The foreshadowing in this film is anything but subtle.)

After Michele is struck by a car and killed, Lily takes off to teach in Cassadaga, Florida—the “Psychic Capital of America” as we’re told when Lily drives by a sign. At her new school, Lily is taken in by Claire (Louise Fletcher) and given room and board, but told to just leave her grandson Thomas (Lucas Beck) be. Lily meet-cutes local EMT Mike (Kevin Alejandro), who is the father of one of her students. Soon enough, a night on the town winds up with a visit to Susan (Avis-Marie Barnes), and soon enough, Lily is seeing dead people with red herrings piling up by the minute. Oh, I forgot to mention the opening scene where a young boy is wearing a dress and playing with a marionette when he’s caught by his mom and told to play outside after cutting up his clothes and smashing the puppet. If you can’t guess who the killer is after this, maybe you missed the part where he cuts off his own penis. Dun dun dun!

In all honesty, the scenes featuring Lily and Mike are way better than the rest of the movie. Coleman and Alejandro make a nice couple and have good rapport. Something that will undoubtedly come in handy if the sequel the post-credit scene wants to happen ever comes to fruition. If there’s one thing we horror hounds know, it’s that nothing good ever comes from visiting psychics, however, if movie characters actually watched movies, we wouldn’t have as many to choose from ourselves. For a while, the film plays with a slight J-horror vibe, but keeps getting interrupted with some pretty basic torture porn subplots. We know the two storylines are going to collide just in time for the finale, but screenwriters Bruce Wood and Scott Poiley take way too long to get where we know the film is headed before we even popped in the DVD.

If Cassadaga has one thing going for it it would be that it’s slickly made and the cast is better than average. Unfortunately, the villain—given the name Geppetto—is never frightening, even if his means of dismemberment are more uncomfortable than usual. Maybe if they’d given us a reason to care for his plight, instead of just having mommy issues, we could have given a crap for the villain, which definitely would have been something new in a horror film. However, the payoff scene is bound and determined to turn this into another case of sequelitis, but I don’t think anyone will be clamoring for the further adventures of the ghost helping Lily.

Cover art and photo courtesy Archstone Distribution