If there’s one thing I’m sure of as of this writing, it’s that I have only had to suffer through two horrible films at the 2014 Sundance Film Festival. And the two couldn’t be more different.

Did I mention God Help the Girl is a musical? Well, unfortunately, it is. And built around Belle & Sebastian songs filled with nonsensical lyrics that are each as unmemorable as the previous. Writer/director Stuart Murdoch has brought his album of the same name to the big screen in one of the most boring musicals in movie history. Watching Emily Browning gaze vacantly into the camera — literally — as she lip-syncs along is astounding dull. Not to mention that considering there’s a choreographer credit I thought maybe there’d be more dance sequences to go with the songs. But even when there is they consist of some pretty minor moves. The one bright spot is Murray, who lights up all of her scenes bringing an amusing naïveté to Cass, but all I could think of as I left the theater was “God Help the Movie.”

David Cross is so above this material that it astounds me that he is the sole person responsible for this dreck. Being able to count the times I laughed using only my fingers isn’t even the worst of it. Just try not falling asleep as one scene careens into another where even less happens than the scene prior. My colleagues laughed a lot during the final ten minutes where at a public city council meeting Dave makes his final stand. But as Cross finally unleashes his comedic abilities he wastes them in a torrent of racist bigotry. Had the film been as mean-spirited as this final scene it would have felt like the movie was trying to make a point. As it stands, there was none, other than to poke a little fun at the hipster scene, who by the way, were in attendance and seemed to be the only ones laughing. Considering the jokes are aimed at them says even more about them than the film ever could. Avoid both all costs.
Photos courtesy of Sundance Institute
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