THE GOODS: LIVE HARD, SELL HARD
Rated R for sexual content, nudity, pervasive language and some drug material.
90 minutes
Paramount Vantage
*** out of 5
Some movies have the trademarks of their producers all over them. Normally, whenever you saw “Steven Spielberg Presents” before a film you knew it was going to be something special. However, that moniker has officially changed forever with the abysmal “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” Now we get Peter Jackson and Guillermo del Toro’s names presenting us some pretty good stuff after “The Orphanage” and the upcoming “District 9.” Then there’s Adam McKay and Will Ferrell. These two have brought us their fair share of laugh riots with “Anchorman,” “Talladega Nights,” the online skit “The Landlord” seen on www.laughordie.com, and most recently the movie I loved and most loathed, “Step Brothers.”
When it comes to “The Goods,” the law of diminishing returns are starting to stake their claim as every consecutive movie has become such carbon copies of the film before that whether or not you find this particular brand of humor still hilarious or at least amusing will completely make up your mind on whether you’re even considering seeing this movie. The first 45 minutes are so in your face hilarious and random that most of what the film makers have thrown up on screen moves by so fast that if you aren’t laughing at one joke another one will rear its head literally seconds later.
Sophomore screenwriters Andy Stock and Rick Stempson are credited with having “written” the script and freshman feature director Neal Brennan is best known for having directed a handful of episodes of “Chappelle’s Show” and co-writing the stoner comedy “Half Baked.” The direction isn’t necessarily that bad when he’s just letting the cast have their fun and ad lib as much as possible, which means that most of the films problems arise whenever you can tell that it starts to stick to a script. The whole third act has half as many laughs as the entire first hour which is a huge downslide when it comes to your entertainment value. When a special celebrity cameo shows up to save your show, you know something isn’t working.
Don Ready (Jeremy Piven) is a man of many words. So many words he’s able to, in a fictional film of course, to talk his way into smoking a cigarette on an airplane. He is on his way from Arizona to Temecula, CA after being called for his assistance in moving some cars for small lot owner Ben Selleck (James Brolin, father of “Brand” himself, Josh Brolin). They need to move 211 cars in three days or Ben will lose the lot to his daughter Ivy’s (Jordana Spiro) soon-to-be father-in-law, Stu Harding (Alan Thicke). After a great day of sells the first big day hits a hiccup and things start sliding downhill. Add in the fact that Don thinks that Blake (Jonathan Sadowski) is his illegitimate son from a one night stand 23 years ago and he seems to be having a mid-life crisis as he believe he’s falling love with Ivy all the meanwhile trying to get over an incident in “Querque” where he may have killed his best friend in a sky diving accident involving a mixed-up backpack, backseat sex and a reoccurring purple dildo, it takes a visit from said dead friend McDermott to realize that he needs to buck up and get his act together and finish the sell and start his life anew.
As mentioned before, by now you’ve either seen a trailer or at least a TV commercial and have already made up your mind on whether or not you’re interested in seeing this. The movie definitely works best when it puts its mind in the gutter and coasts along on the power of its hilarious cast. Whether or not you want to see if Don finds redemption, Ivy stays with her fiancé Paxton (Ed Helms), if Blake really is Don’s son, whether or not DeeJay (Craig Robinson) finds respect, if Babs (Kathryn Hahn) sleeps with 10-year-old man-child Peter Selleck (Rob Riggle), if Jibby Newsome (Ving Rhames) finally makes love to a woman, or if any of those situations made you laugh then this movie is definitely for you and you my friend, have been sold.
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