A Director Used To Wearing Bigger "Shorts" Needs To Stick To His Guns

SHORTS
Rated PG for mild action and some rude humor.
89 minutes
Warner Bros.
** out of 5

Director Robert Rodriguez definitely keeps himself busy. Everyone knows he is really good friends with another director Quentin Tarantino. Mr. Tarantino is a very busy man as well. The key difference between the two is completely obvious when their newest features are released on the same day and are so utterly different and one is a million times better than the other. Rodriguez has now officially released twelve feature films in the span of seventeen years and the quality of each movie has been pretty inconclusive. Mr. Tarantino has only completed seven full length features and each one has been a continuing triumph over the last. What do these two fantastic directors have least in common? Storytelling.

Both burst onto the independent scene back in 1992; Rodriguez with “El Mariachi” as part of the Toronto Film Festival and Tarantino with his “Reservoir Dogs” at the Sundance Film Festival here in my backyard, Park City, UT. Since then Rodriguez and Tarantino have worked very closely together. Tarantino has written and made cameos in a few of Rodriguez’s films and none more memorably than their team up for “From Dusk till Dawn” in 1996 (yes, their pairing there was much better than their most recent trip to the “Grindhouse”). If only Rodriguez would spend as much time with his story ideas as he is apparently worried about falling off the radar with lack of features maybe his career wouldn’t hit the wall so many times.

When it comes to his adult fare he seems to be working much more comfortably in the zone. “El Mariachi,” “Desperado,” “From Dusk Till Dawn,” “The Faculty,” “Once Upon a Time in Mexico,” “Sin City” and “Planet Terror” are far more superior to his kid flicks with the exception of the first two “Spy Kids” films. They were light and entertaining but nothing that would bore the adults or even the 20-something crowd (I was 21 and 22 when both of the first two “Spy Kids” films were released and still thoroughly enjoy them). However, only 2 of his kids movies have been watchable as his ideas seem to screech to a halt as each new film is released. Now we’ve been stuck sitting through the likes of “Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over,” “The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D” (starring a then unknown Taylor Lautner of “Twilight” fame) and the movie being unleashed upon families this weekend, “Shorts.”

In his new film, “Shorts,” Robert Rodriguez as usual directs from his own script. It’s broken down into so-called “shorts” and is haphazardly thrown together with freeze frames, rewinds, fast forwards and pauses allowing for the ridiculous sounding narration from the main character “Toe” Thompson (Jimmy Bennett). The script readings from little Bennett sound so forced and unnatural it’s as if different takes were edited together to form complete sentences and are very unintentionally funny. The rest of the cast seem completely uninspired as they’re continuously given absolutely nothing to do with such a lackluster script pandering to the lowest common denominator or after-school-special life lessons. The film has a total of five shorts contributing to the “whole” and its just a huge jumbled mess from the moment the opening short (the only one in 89 minutes worth of screen time that actually interested me and coincidentally has pretty much nothing to do with any of the rest of the movie. It seems like had the movie been completely broken down into a set of actual short films it would have made for a much better experience). As far as the plot goes it all comes down to Toe finding a wishing rock and all hell breaking loose amidst the community Black Falls where all the parents are employees of BLACK BOX Unlimited Worldwide and all the children attend the same school.

Its fairly obvious Rodriguez loves his children dearly. However, just because they have a few ideas that may be humorous coming out of their mouths doesn’t mean that an audience needs to see these jumbled thoughts on screen. Casting them is never as noticeable as they usually aren’t used as main leads. But as mentioned, when your children tell you a story about a booger coming to life and their excitement manages to make you laugh out loud it doesn’t mean that your audience will agree. I know that these films are not necessarily made for me but as a huge fan of the director it would be nice if he would make these more suitable for his fanbase regardless of their age. Life lessons are nice and all but that doesn’t mean that it takes treating the older folks like idiots. With the upcoming releases of “Machete” (based on his own faux trailer that played at the beginning of “Grindhouse” and should be a ton of fun) and his talks for making more “Sin City” adaptations the future looks bright for Mr. Rodriguez but we shouldn’t hold our breath because nobody likes a funeral as I'm sure there will still be more lame kids movies added to his cannon eventually.