Blu-ray Review: “The Babymakers”

A comedy that never even comes close to shooting its load.

Article first published as Blu-ray Review: The Babymakers on Blogcritics.

One of the biggest mistakes with any failed comedy is when it’s excruciatingly boring. No matter how many jokes hit or miss, sometimes good directing, editing, or simply the joy of a good cast can overcome your biggest hurdles. With Jay Chandrasekhar, lead member of the Broken Lizard comedy troupe, behind the camera and in a minor role, you expect far more than we get with his (as yet) only true blunder, “The Babymakers.” Even sadder is the fact that he’s roped in at least one other member, Kevin Heffernan, and a lot of their familiar faces (M.C. Gainey and Nat Faxon).

Failure abounds in astounding measures as we muddle through the turbulent relationship of Audrey (Olivia Munn) and Tommy (Paul Schneider) trying to have a baby after they’ve just celebrated their three-year anniversary. Come to find out his sperm’s no good, but little does Audrey know, he bought her engagement ring using “beat off money” from donating sperm. Paul finds out that there’s one batch left and he recruits his best friends Wade (Heffernan) and Zig-Zag (Faxon) to pull an “Ocean’s 11” with the help of Ron Jon (Chandrasekhar) for $5,000.

Slapstick and more bodily-function jokes than you can shake a stick at to no effect whatsoever as Chandrasekhar works with one of the worst scripts imaginable courtesy Peter Gaulke (“Strange Wilderness,” “Black Knight,” “Say it Isn’t So”) and Gerry Swallow (“Black Knight” and “Say it Isn’t So” again). That resume alone should tell you what to expect. Olivia Munn is surprisingly the most sympathetic character of the bunch, with Heffernan’s Wade coming across as the most brash. While the film may be seeking lowest common denominator guffaws, there’s one scene in particular that I pray wasn’t a case of adlibbing because it’s outright racist and offensive to even the most desensitized ears.

Anyone looking for a film filled to the brim with masturbation and bestiality jokes, along with the cast slip sliding around on a floor covered with semen look no further. Everyone else can hold out hope for Broken Lizard to return to form with “Super Troopers 2” and the long rumored “Potfest.” In the meantime, hang on to the glory days of their past comedic successes as even the fans who didn’t like “Club Dread” and/or “The Dukes of Hazzard” will find absolutely nothing in “The Babymakers” to fill the void.

The “Babymakers” Blu-ray comes courtesy Millenium Media sporting a 1080p presentation that’s fine for what the film is. No one would ever expect this to shine like a new “Transformers” movie. Most of the film takes place during the day where the transfer looks the best but toward the end scenes come across as too dark resulting in some minor crush but looks due to Frank G. DeMarco’s cinematography. There’s one instance where noise crops up and a few cases of shimmer in the wardrobe. Weirdly, the most annoying aspect is a couple bouts of judder. Like I said, no one expects this to look like a big summer blockbuster transfer and I won’t be surprised if anyone but the most ardent Broken Lizard fan seeks it out anyway. The Dolby TrueHD 5.1 mix is front heavy as expected with almost all modern comedies. Although there were at least two instances where things came alive in random moments whenever a car seemed to be driving by. But maybe that was just a case of my 7.1 system pumping things up more than they were.

As far as special features go, there are four trailers before the film starts for “Little Birds,” “Bernie,” “Red Lights,” and “Intruders.” Clearly Millenium Media is focusing on low budget affairs and more power to them. There’s also an unbearably long 19-minute edition of Cast and Crew Interviews, a five minute Featurette, and an excruciating 11 minute Behind the Scenes consisting of behind the scenes footage that seem to show that everything on set was as forced and uninspired as it winds up in the final product. Everything also seems recycled from one special feature or another. The single-disc Blu-ray release is available on September 18 but should be considered a Redbox rental at the very most for only the least discerning viewers.