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Movie Preview: January 2012

2012-01-10T13:24:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Hollywood's wasteland.

Article first published as Movie Preview: January 2012 on Blogcritics.

It’s that time of the year again. Yes, the “dump” months of Hollywood are back. And they aren’t looking any better than before. While one particular film may have already earned back 35 times its budget, that doesn’t mean it’s worth your money. I guess the worse the reviews the more interest audiences have, unfortunately. Let’s take a look at what the studios are slinging our way this January.

January 6

Only one wide opening hit theaters and it made a ton of money. We can warn moviegoers all we want, but that still didn’t keep them away from “The Devil Inside.” I seriously hope to see this fall off the radar rather quickly as word-of-mouth spreads faster than the body jumping demon does through the last ten minutes of this mess.

January 13

Mark Wahlberg stars in “Contraband,” what should hopefully be the weekend’s #1 film. A remake of the Icelandic film “Reykjavik-Rotterdam,” Baltasar Kormákur (star of the original) makes his Hollywood debut in the director’s chair. Wahlberg stars as a former drug smuggler setting out to protect his brother-in-law from a Panamanian drug lord. Brother Robert Wahlberg is along for the ride with a not-so-bad supporting cast consisting of Ben Foster, Giovanni Ribisi, Lukas Haas, J.K. Simmons, Diego Luna, and Kate Beckinsale (in the first of two films for her this month). While Marky Mark looks like he’s got an itch to scratch on the poster, here’s hoping for a nice surprise.

Meanwhile, director Todd Graff continues to mine the new niche he seems to have found for himself with this week's “Joyful Noise.” After his directorial debut of “Camp” at the 2003 Sundance Film Festival, his career path is starting to look a little rocky. He may have bigger stars in the likes of Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton, but this film just looks like the geriatric version of “Glee.” While I do tune in every week to catch up with the talented kids of McKinley High, everything makes this film look like the travesty it’s bound to be.

If you are wise, you will skip “Joyful Noise” and choose to see Meryl Steep’s latest Oscar bait portrayal as former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher instead. Rejoining her “Mamma Mia!”director Phyllida Lloyd, I can assure you they’re bound to garner Steep yet another Best Actress nomination. “Beauty and the Beast” also opens in 3D as Disney continues their new trend of re-releasing their greatest hits collection, even if this one’s been available on Blu-ray 3D since October. Is it really worth paying to see in theaters when you probably already have it in your collection? Probably not, but I digress.

January 20

Speaking of milking cash cows, the vampires and lycans are at it again in the fourth “Underworld” film, this time subtitled: “Awakening.” Too bad Kate Beckinsale has returned for her third part of the dead in the water franchise her husband, Len Wiseman, has built. Admittedly, I was kind of excited for these before the first film was released. But what looked like a monster mashed “Matrix” turned out to be just another series leaning towards fans of the other god-awful Sony owned “Resident Evil” films. At least Beckinsale is far more fun to watch in her skin tight leather than Milla Jovovich could ever dream in her chop-suey edited, CGI breast-enhanced, fight scenes. Four screenwriters and two directors later, this still doesn’t look any better than the last three.

On the positive side of things, we do get a new Steven Soderbergh action thriller with “Haywire.” Heavily touted as the big screen acting debut for MMA fighter Gina Carano, let’s hope that Soderbergh brings along his independent film sensibilities to add some panache to the chaos that’s bound to ensue. Armed with a great supporting cast in Michael Fassbender, Antonio Banderas, Bill Paxton, Mathieu Kassovitz, not to mention Michael Douglas and Ewan McGregor as villains, maybe he can wind up bringing us this year’s “Hanna.” Having a script from Lem Dobbs, a man who knows his way around a good story (“Dark City,” “The Limey,” “The Score”), only seems to improve those chances.

In the meantime, two more action-oriented films are also heading our way. First, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Terrence Howard (as Col. A.J. Bullard) take their fight to the sky in Lucasfilm’s “Red Tails.” TV director Anthony Hemingway makes his big screen debut aided with lots of computer effects to enhance his story of African American pilots in the Tuskegee training program during World War II. On the flip side of things, Ralph Fiennes’ John Logan (“Rango,” “Hugo”) scripted take on William Shakespeare’s “Coriolanus” finally hits theaters. Even with a cast consisting of Jessica Chastain, Gerard Butler, Brian Cox, and Fiennes himself as the titular character, it’s more than likely that standout Vanessa Redgrave is who shall be garnering our attention come time for the Best Supporting Actress announcement.

January 27

As 2012’s Sundance Film Festival begins to wrap up this weekend, festival alumnus Joe Carnahan seems to be going back to basics. While his last two Hollywood outings have been extremes in excess, he’s got a friend in Liam Neeson (“The A-Team”) who’s pitted against the elements in “The Grey.” While those elements may be a pack of wolves, I’m sure the snowy Alaskan wilderness will give him its due as well. Also in action news, Sam Worthington is a “Man on a Ledge” while a diamond heist takes place across the street and Elizabeth Banks tries to make sense of his motives. And finally, another dump month, another Katherine Heigl calamity makes its way to the big screen. This time it’s “One for the Money” as she plays bounty hunter Stephanie Plum in the debut of Janet Evanovich’s number-titled novels.

February, thankfully, seems to pick up a little bit as we inch closer and closer back to our beloved blockbusters. But in the mean time, choose wisely dear readers, it sure is a typical January out there.

Photos courtesy Universal Pictures, Screen Gems, Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation

Movie Review: “The Devil Inside”

2012-01-06T15:28:00.000-07:00

The only scary thing about this is getting the INXS song stuck in your head.

* out of 5
87 minutes
R for for disturbing violent content and grisly images, and for language including some sexual references
Insurge Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: The Devil Inside on Blogcritics.

Oh January, what hath thou wrought upon us now? As if we needed not only another exorcism film, you pair it up with the found footage genre? While it used to be considered a subgenre, there are way too many films out there now for it to be a “sub” anything. The last one I bore witness too was the abysmal “Evil Things,” and while I’ve never been a huge fan of these films, they certainly can work. Give me “The Blair Witch Project” or “Cloverfield” any day. But alas, the annual dump month has now given us its latest opus operandi with “The Devil Inside.”

You'll feel exactly the same way.

Poor William Brent Bell, when your only previous film happens to be about a killer video game (“Stay Alive”) you don’t give your audience too much hope. And no matter how many creepy stills you send out to plague film news sites you better have at least a passable movie to back them up. Filling it with TV actors and trying to convince viewers you filmed on location in the Vatican just makes things even harder to buy. Leave it to Paramount Pictures to launch their new micro-budget branch possibly thanks to the success of their “Paranormal Activity” franchise. But even still, I’d rather sit through any of those over this mess.

On October 30, 1989, police receive a phone call from Maria Rossi (Suzan Crowley) who informs the local dispatch she has just killed three people. Police investigate what appears to be either an exorcism gone awry or the world’s deadliest hazing. The murders are of course all over the news and her motive is left hanging in the wind. Cut to November 26, 2009 and we meet Isabella Rossi (Fernanda Andrade), Maria’s daughter. She wants to know what happened to her mother that night, why she was whisked away to a Rome insane asylum, and can’t help but worry that it could happen to her as well.

Isabella travels to the Vatican with her trusty sidekick documentarian Michael (Ionut Grama) to unravel the secrets of her mother’s sordid past. After attending a single class at the local exorcism school Isabella quickly befriends Fathers David (Evan Helmuth) and Ben (Simon Quarterman). The two let Isabella onto their little secret that they’ve been investigating supposed possessions on their own and performing exorcism to gather evidence to convince the church that these people need some serious help of the religious kind. Ben tells Isabella that she can learn more in five minutes during a real exorcism than she can after months of class. So sure enough, the quartet embarks on a mission to try to help Maria after Isabella witnesses the release of a woman named Rosa (contortionist for hire Bonnie Morgan).

It’s one thing for a mass of critics to walk out groaning about a feature as flaccid as this, but it’s another thing altogether when the credits role and your audience boos the screen. Yes, even a sold out audience couldn’t even tolerate this dreck. The New Year is definitely upon us and with that it means sifting through the Hollywood disasters of January and February. Thankfully they shouldn’t all be as awful as this and there’s also the annual Sundance Film Festival to look forward to. In the mean time, you may want to steer clear of this one as the only scare it manages to dredge up is of the cheapest kind: a barking dog, that probably knew what kind of movie he was in and just wanted to make sure something tried to scare “The Devil Inside” all of us.

Photos courtesy Insurge Pictures

Movie Review: “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows”

2012-01-06T10:29:00.000-07:00

The law of diminishing returns need not apply to the “Holmes” series.

**** ½ out of 5
129 minutes
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and some drug material
Warner Bros. Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Sherlock Holmes - A Game of Shadows on Blogcritics.

While I may not have liked anything director Guy Ritchie had directed between his smashing debut of “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels” and his 2009 adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s “Sherlock Holmes,” it wasn’t for lack of interest. I found “Snatch” to be full of contempt, aside from the squeak toy imbibing bulldog and Brad Pitt’s Pikey accent. But the less said about both “Swept Away” and “Revolver” the better. Yes, Ritchie’s Madonna years are finally far behind him. While I still need to give “RocknRolla” a second go, it still seemed to bring a sense of direction for Ritchie and return him to his roots. And if his “Holmes” sequel, “A Game of Shadows,” is of any indication, he’s here to stay.

With a bigger budget and a far tighter script (courtesy of Michele and Kieran Mulroney), Ritchie and stars Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law have proven Warner Bros. have a mighty viable property on their hands. While their beloved “Harry Potter” series has come to a close, it’s nice to see them putting some effort behind a series for the more adult filmgoer. While most sequels tend to try to continually one up the last, it’s a rarity in Hollywood to broaden, deepen, and build upon what’s come before. With a few new cast members along to up the ante as well, it would appear that the “Sherlock Holmes” films can only continue to improve. I’m sure the two years it took to release a follow up shows a little dedication to the craft more than simply aiming for a cash grab.

It’s 1891 and Dr. Watson (Law) is hard at work on his latest Sherlock Holmes (Downey) adventure novel. Tension has been rising between the French and Germans, and things don’t seem to be gaining any help due to a slew of bombings. Of course, Holmes has pieced together some evidence connecting the bombings to a few circumstantial deaths thanks to a new diet of alcohol, tobacco and cocoa beans. But it’s not until after his beloved Irene Adler’s (Rachel McAdams) “services are no longer required” of the dastardly Professor James Moriarty (Jared Harris) that it becomes clear that Holmes may have finally met his match.

After a spectacular fight sequence fending off an assassin attempt of gypsy fortune teller Madam Simza Heron (Noomi Rapace), Holmes must band together with his dear Watson who just wants to enjoy his honeymoon. Meanwhile, keeping the newly Mrs. Watson, Mary (Kelly Reilly), safe is Holmes’ brother Mycroft (the always welcome Stephen Fry). After one of cinema’s most hilarious weddings and a grand train adventure through Brighton, Holmes and Watson set out to track down Simza who may hold the key to finding Moriarty through her brother, Renee. Now the game is set for Holmes & Co. to track down Moriarty before he manages to cause an all out war between France and German while getting some vengeance in the process.

Everything works even better here than in the first film which I was particularly fond of. The action is better if not necessarily bigger. The story is nowhere near as convoluted as you’d expect yet holds some grand surprises. The laughs are more genuine and Downey’s cockney riddled accent has even been smoothed out. Yes, things are far greater than they seem in the land of sequels this weekend. While at first I was worried about the quick cut Tony Scott-stylized fight scene that opens the film, it seems like that was only to get you immediately back into the world they created the first time around. Now we get bigger set pieces where you get to really see what’s going on thanks to some stunning cinematography and editing thanks to Philippe Rousselot and James Herbert. And Hans Zimmer’s 2009 Oscar-nominated score makes a welcome return as well.

Also at the top of their game of course are Downey and Law. Their rapport is quite clear and they seem to really enjoy playing their wits against each other. Stephen Fry tries to steal the show from everyone but it’s Rapace who really stands out here and proves her turn as “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” Lisbeth Salander, was no fluke. Rapace is surely making a name for herself stateside and hopefully her talents remain fully utilized with her next Hollywood outing in “Prometheus,” Ridley Scott’s upcoming return to his own “Alien” franchise. If the franchise continues to bustle about the way it does here than I say that “A Game of Shadows” proves that the real game of keeping the series fresh is what’s truly at foot.

Photos courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures

Movie Review: “Young Adult”

2012-01-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

Mean spirited and hilarious. See it before it's gone.

**** ½ out of 5
94 minutes
Rated R for language and some sexual content
Paramount Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Young Adult on Blogcritics.

As I stated in my review of “Horrible Bosses,” I love my dark comedies. This may not be the first type of film that springs to mind when you think of the second pairing of “Juno” cohorts, director Jason Reitman and writer Diablo Cody, it’s a welcome change. While Reitman and Cody are both spending their careers growing and evolving, it’s the exact opposite we get from Charlize Theron’s character of Mavis Gary in “Young Adult.”

While Reitman seems to be on a projected path to do no wrong (see “Thank You for Smoking,” along with “Juno” and “Up in the Air” being nominated for Best Pictures), Cody still has yet to prove herself. But if “Young Adult” is any indication of what’s to come, we can still expect the best from her yet. Not everyone was a huge fan of “Juno,” and I am in a huge minority who didn’t hate “Jennifer’s Body,” but this film is a different beast entirely from either of those.

Mavis Gary lives in “The Minneapple,” (aka Minneapolis, Minnesota) where she ghost writes a YA, er… young adult...series called Waverly Prep. Her agent is trying to help her out by offering her one last hurrah to finish the now canceled series with book #178. Life proves to have taken its toll on the divorced author who begins obsessing on what could have been when she receives a baby announcement for her old high school beau Buddy Slade (Patrick Wilson). Buddy is happily married to Beth (Elizabeth Reaser), who plays in a band full of mothers and he’s very fulfilled with his life choices. But Mavis has hopes of other plans as she returns to her hometown of Mercury to try to win him back and beat his odds together.

Yes, Mavis is a little crazy. And so is Matt Freehauf (Patton Oswalt), who works at a local dive as bookkeeper and still lives with his sister Sandra (Collette Wolfe). Matt has his own crutch in life (literally), after a high school hate crime left him with shattered legs and a crooked penis because the jocks assumed he was gay. Matt sees right through Mavis’s self loathing and insanity while everyone else around her thinks she’s back in town looking to invest in some real estate. Now, with the help of Matt’s homemade bourbon and a lot of Maker’s Mark (“up” anyone?), Matt and Mavis set out on a course of self discovery and maybe, just maybe, a tiny bit of retribution.

Films filled to the brim with despicable characters up to no good generally don’t do quite as well as those with central characters surrounded by a gawking supporting cast. Thankfully, Reitman and Cody try to give Mavis a little hope, and Theron is able to handle her character with the right kind of hilarity and pity that she deserves. Her Mavis comes off as a cross between her Oscar winning turn as Aileen Wuornos in “Monster” and her recurring Rita from “Arrested Development.” Just because she looks so good for her age doesn’t mean she’s all there.

While everything this time may not be aiming for a little gold statue, it’s nice to see a film tonally leaning towards “Death Becomes Her” or “Death to Smoochy.” Even the original score by Rolfe Kent has an underlying menace that many may not pick up on, but sounds like the most menacing rom-com score ever put on film. So far, it seems as though Reitman stands as the only one who can do justice to a Cody screenplay, although she gets to try her hand with her own material next. And maybe they should just continue working together indefinitely as “Young Adult” proves yet another winner in the companionship.

Photos courtesy Paramount Pictures

Movie Review: “War Horse”

2012-01-06T10:05:00.000-07:00

A Spielberg double whammy for your year-end pleasure.

**** ½ out of 5
146 minutes
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of war violence
DreamWorks SKG

Article first published as Movie Review: War Horse on Blogcritics.

Grand. Sweeping. Epic. These are all words used to probably describe something a little more old fashioned than what we’re used to these days. Even more so when it comes to Steven Spielberg lately, who actually hasn’t even released a film in four years. While his last feature may have been rather polarizing (“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”), he’s taken a lot of heat over the last few years and has laid claim to a new Hollywood catch phrase called “nuking the fridge.”

Back in the old days of the true Hollywood epics (“Gone with the Wind,” “Ben Hur,” “The Ten Commandments,” etc.) these adjectives were heard on a regular basis. Today they’re nearly unheard of. Sometimes something may seem epic when really it’s just getting confused with being way too long. Leave it to Spielberg to harken back to both the glory days of old fashioned cinema, along with his own unique vision. While he may seem more caught up in the sci-fi of technology as of late (“War of the Worlds,” “Minority Report,” “A. I.”) “The Beard” is back with his big screen adaptation of the Tony Award winning stage play of “War Horse.”

Originally a children’s novel written by Michael Morpurgo, it was adapted as a stage play by Nick Stafford. Performed with puppets, which only brings to mind “The Lion King,” I’m sure it’s a rather magnificently interesting presentation. I think the best way to see the material truly brought to life would be through the film where you can get up close and personal with Joey. Joey is of course the title horse who is born in 1914.

As a thoroughbred, Joey is drunkenly bought at auction by Ted Narracott (Peter Mullan) against everyone else’s good graces for his farm. We are told thoroughbreds do not make for good use on a farm. Joey also, before, was being eyed by Ted’s son, Albert (Jeremy Irvine), out in the wild. Now that Ted has spent all of his rent money on Joey, his landlord Lyons (David Thewlis) gives Ted until the autumn to come up with the rest. Albert assures Lyons that he can break Joey and they will plow their field to harvest turnips. After the whole town shows up to see if Albert can really break Joey, it takes a fluke rainstorm to show everyone what Joey can do.

After yet another rainstorm ruins their crops, Ted is forced to sell Joey to the Army as England is on the verge of war with Germany and he needs to make good on his rent. Albert tries to enlist but is too young. Captain Nicholls (Tom Hiddleston, “Thor”), however, assures Albert that Joey will be taken under his own wing as his personal horse. After Joey is taken off to join the ranks, where Joey strikes up a bromance with Topthorn, Albert is left to farming wondering if he’ll ever see Joey again.

Going into “War Horse,” I’ll admit that I had no idea that the story was actually about Joey. And let me tell you, the film really wouldn’t work any other way. Oh sure, they could have used it as a way to intertwine two connected stories between Albert and Joey, but the film is also about war to a large extent. And since Albert isn’t old enough to fight for country yet, it’s Joey who is taken off to fight the good fight. This is when you realize that we are following Joey’s war torn trials and tribulations. Even if it means that anyone connected to the horse through the war seems bound for death.

Screenwriters Lee Hall (“Billy Elliott”) and Richard Curtis (“The Boat That Rocked,” “Love Actually,” “Four Weddings and a Funeral”) have provided Spielberg with a screenplay of old school proportions. Even if this is Spielberg’s first foray into digital editing, Michael Kahn is still in tow, who’s been along for the ride on every Spielberg venture since all the way back to “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.” While Spielberg may have used various cinematographers for his earlier work, Janusz Kaminski has been behind the lens ever since “Schindler’s List.” While some may hate the blooming whites or washed out look of most of their films, Kaminski finally makes things look like an older Spielberg film with a more natural, if not sometimes more digital, appearance.

Special consideration goes out to the cast who of course give their all. I mean, who wouldn’t when you’re in a Spielberg film, right? Especially Jeremy Irvine, making his film debut. But as great as Irvine is, it’s the horse, or horses, playing the part of Joey who really steal the show. Films about animals tend to get taken over by the human story (think “Seabiscuit,” “Secretariat”), but here we get to really see Joey’s story come to life and get a great animal performance. Sometimes I think animals give far better performances than humans anyway. When it comes to horses and dogs, they really take the cake as you can generally tell what they may be thinking. And in the case of “War Horse” it’s a damn good thing; otherwise, it’d just be “Saving Private Ryan’s Stallion.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that with Spielberg at the reigns.

Photos courtesy DreamWorks SKG

Movie Review: “The Adventures of Tintin”

2011-12-22T09:55:00.000-07:00

My favorite animated film of the year finally makes its way across the pond.

***** out of 5
107 minutes
Rated PG for adventure action violence, some drunkenness and brief smoking
Paramount Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: The Adventures of Tintin on Blogcritics.

While motion capture in film is nowhere near as intolerable as when first introduced via Robert Zemeckis’ excruciating “Polar Express,” it sure has come a long way. This year, however, it may have even finally hit its stride. From the dusty plains of “Rango” to Andy Serkis’ hopeful Oscar-nominated turn as Caesar in “Rise of the Planet of the Apes,” it was only a matter of time before Zemeckis’ long time buddy, Steven Spielberg, unsurprisingly, one upped him. Along with producer Peter Jackson as his partner in crime, Hergé’s beloved Belgian character finally gets a sea worthy big budget adaptation in “The Adventures of Tintin.”

While already a huge moneymaker overseas (currently standing at a massive $239 million), this isn’t the first time Tintin and his faithful canine companion Snowy have made their way to the States. When it was announced that Spielberg and Jackson were uniting to bring a trilogy of sorts to the big screen, it was a moment of glee. Even if just because I knew they would set out to prove exactly what you can really do with full length motion capture animated films and 3-D features as well.

The story may seem a tad convoluted, but that’s not the point of “The Adventures of TinTin.” Spielberg has finally made the best “Indiana Jones”-like film since Indy rode off into the sunset in 1989. Tintin (Jamie Bell) is a young reporter who’s just set his sights on a replica of the fabled Unicorn, a model ship. After it’s quickly snatched away by Ivanovich Sakharine (Daniel Craig), Tintin finds himself kidnapped where he meets up with the whiskey swilling Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis). Together, the three (Snowy in tow), must travel the globe to discover the secret of the Unicorn including a lost treasure buried beneath the sea by Haddock’s pirating relative, Sir Francis Haddock (Serkis again), after the best “Pirates of the Caribbean” sea battle Disney never gave us.

The screenplay was originally drafted by Steven Moffat (“Dr. Who,” “Sherlock,” “Coupling”), with a rewrite by the brilliant Edgar Wright (“Shaun of the Dead,” “Hot Fuzz”, “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World”) and Joe Cornish (“Attack the Block”). The three have written an amazing film that could easily have taken place within the “Indiana Jones” universe. If they wound up being our Three Wise Men for the rumored fifth venture, I’d be even more on board than I already am. As a Spielberg fanatic, I have to admit that I didn’t despise “Crystal Skull.” I know how much he loves his aliens and considering the timeline of the entry it fit in far better than people may want to admit.

Now Spielberg and Jackson have welcomed in a whole new kind of adventure. Where, thanks to the CG assistance of course, whole action sequences can be breathtakingly choreographed into a single take. And considering the writers, it should come as no surprise that there are references aplenty to The Beard’s previous work, along with the original Hergé comics as well. As I mentioned the motion capture here finally works – even if Jamie Bell may seem a bit too wide eyed and you’re dying for him to blink.

But nothing spoils the fun thanks to Spielberg reveling in his yesteryears and whisking us away on his most grand adventure in a long time. If it hadn’t been for the aforementioned “Rango” being a complete original, where this is based on previous material, it would be my frontrunner for best animated film of the year at the Academy Awards. As it stands however, “The Adventures of Tintin” still takes the case of being my favorite animated film of the year.

Photos courtesy Paramount Pictures

Movie Review: “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol”

2011-12-22T09:51:00.000-07:00

Best. “Mission.” Yet.

***** out of 5
133 minutes
Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense action and violence
Paramount Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol on Blogcritics.

A lot of people have been integrating IMAX filmed footage into their movies lately. While the best are few and far between and range from the great to awful (“The Dark Knight” to “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”), there’s still plenty of room to keep our mouths agape. And if director Brad Bird has anything to do with it, his live action debut, “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol,” seems set out to make sure that if you don’t already suffer from acrophobia, you just might after his central pièce de résistance is over.

Brad Bird is best known as the genius behind one of the single greatest superhero movies ever made (“The Incredibles”). And was also the man who made the world discover that yes, anyone can cook, even if it’s a rat named Remy (“Ratatouille”). It was only a matter of time before someone handed him a camera and a deft screenplay (courtesy of producer J.J. Abrams’ regular partners in crime, Josh Applebaum and Andre Nemec), letting him set his sights on a big-budget action film. If you thought his visuals in “The Incredibles” lived up that film’s title, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

In “Ghost Protocol,” we meet up with Ethan Hunt locked up in a Moscow prison. Benji and Co. have just arrived to break him and fellow inmate Bogdan (Miraj Grbic) out to the tune of “Ain’t That a Kick in the Head.” We’ve also seen another agent, Hanaway (Josh Holloway, “Lost”), being taken out by who turns out to be an assassinating blonde (Léa Seydoux) with high ambitions. Jane and Benji inform Ethan that Hanaway was killed by Sabine Moreau while they were attempting to obtain some documents. Turns out said documents just happen to be nuclear launch codes.

The codes are also being hunted down by our current antagonist, Hendricks (Michael Nyqvist). Hendricks of course just wants to use them to start an all out nuclear war. Things get a little tricky for the team however, as the IMF has disavowed all agents thanks to Hendricks setting off an explosion inside the Kremlin. Now Ethan and his crew are about to be declared terrorists right after choosing to accept their mission of finding Hendricks and obtaining the codes. But not before the Russians take out the IMF Secretary (Tom Wilkinson) with a hailstorm of bullets leaving everyone en route to Dubai to get back the nuclear launch codes and save the day.

There’s been a whole lot of press surrounding Tom Cruise and his daredevil antics during the filming of “Ghost Protocol” — most of it having to do with his leaping, crawling, and running down the face of Dubai’s Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world. When Ethan Hunt (Cruise) and his band of merry IMF misfits – Benji (Simon Pegg), Jane (Paula Patton), and Brandt (Jeremy Renner) – discover their most current MacGuffin is related to the building’s 130th floor, you get a whole new perspective on the ground floor. By now we all know that yes, that is Tom Cruise performing his own stunts as usual and it’s all for the greater good.

With J.J. Abrams returning as producer, even if handing off the reigns to Bird, there’s some surprising continuity for a change. And not just because of some select characters (including series favorite Luther Stickell, Ving Rhames) making joyful appearances. We also get back composer Michael Giacchino who infuses the film with his own musical cues tying this film with “III,” even if at least thematically. Not to mention that writers Applebaum and Nemec have plenty of background in the spy business after having worked on Abrams’ own “Alias.” It’s like a big welcome conglomeration of everything Bad Robot and Pixar.

Plenty of references abound, ranging from Ethan using extraction code Alpha 1-1-3 to Jane’s use of a red balloon. Not to mention the finale which will seem all too familiar, yet every bit as fun, as the door chase sequence in “Monsters, Inc.” And finally, anyone who doesn’t take the time to witness “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol” the way it was meant to be seen, on their local IMAX (if available at least), is only shortchanging themselves. “Ghost Protocol” is definitely one of the year’s most fun films.

Photos courtesy Paramount Pictures

Movie Preview: December 2011

2011-12-22T09:45:00.000-07:00

Get ready for a holiday wallop!

Article first published as Movie Preview: December 2011 on Blogcritics.

It’s that time of year again. While the snow may not be falling in my neck of the woods yet, the awards season is ramping up. And while the cinematic presents may seem few and far between, that doesn’t mean the month will leave you out in the cold. While nothing of true note may be opening until December 16, that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth waiting for.

December 2

Sorry, literally not one new film opening. Nothing to see here folks, moving along…

December 9

While “Valentine’s Day” was absolutely one of the worst films of 2010 doesn’t mean that the “creators” of that monstrosity shouldn’t try capitalizing on yet another holiday. Now you get “New Year’s Eve.” You’re welcome. Poor Gary Marshall is still out to prove just how much he’s forgotten about how to make a great romantic comedy, or even just a fun movie. Long gone are the days of “Pretty Woman,” “Beaches,” “Overboard,” “Nothing in Common,” “The Flamingo Kid” or even “Frankie & Johnny.” Something sure seems to have sucked the life out of ol’ Marshall during the ’90s and he’s never recovered.

Look no further than “Exit to Eden,” “Dear God,” “The Other Sister,” “Runaway Bride,” “Raising Helen,” “The Princess Diaries 2,” “Georgia Rule,” and the aforementioned “Valentine’s Day.” The first “Princess Diaries” was a small trifle compared to the rest of those. Let alone that writer Katherine Fugate seems to think that having Katherine Heigl (one of my most hated celebrities) crack jokes about there being “more celebrities here than rehab,” or poor Sofia Vergara being degraded into making jokes about how big her boobs are. I will hopefully never have to bear witness to what befalls audiences here. However, if New Year’s Eve were this movie, I could get behind it.

Meanwhile, Jonah Hill makes his final onscreen fat appearance in a movie that just screams “Adventures in Babysitting” ripoff – “The Sitter.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But when it comes from the same guy who used to direct the likes of “George Washington,” “All the Real Girls,” “Undertow,” and “Snow Angels,” apparently being friends with the Apatow Crew is a more surefire way to keep your day job. Even while the law of diminishing returns could be used against him. “Pineapple Express” was a surprise hit all things considered, and while I’m in the minority who enjoyed “Your Highness,” you can’t help but wonder about this one as the studio refuses to screen it. Guess we’ll just have to wait for Hill’s hilarious looking “21 Jump Street” to see the freshly weight lost Hill back in action.

December 16

Now we’re getting to the good stuff. First there’s an artsy fartsy headed our way reuniting the team behind “Juno”: Diablo Cody and Jason Reitman. While Reitman has more hits on resume than Cody, together there seems to be something grand between the two of them. Also today, we get the return of everyone’s favorite detective, “Sherlock Holmes,” who’s up against his arch nemesis Professor Moriarty (Jared Harris). Jude Law and Rachel McAdams return as well for “A Game of Shadows” with the original “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” herself, Noomi Rapace, along for the ride. With a trailer featuring as many slo-mo action sequences as anything released by Zack Snyder, a sense of fun and wise-cracking seems to be headed our way once again with Guy Ritchie seeming to be fully enjoying his deserved turn in the Hollywood spotlight. Game on!

Also out, in an IMAX exclusive release is Brad Bird’s (“Iron Giant,” “The Incredibles”) ascent into live action with a little movie you may have heard of, “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol.” (Expanding to a wide release on December 21.) After a bombing in the Kremlin, super spy Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and company go rogue to clear IMF’s name. Simon Pegg and Ving Rhames return while Ethan’s newest cohorts consist of Paula Patton and Jeremy Renner, who may or may not be taking over the series’ reigns after this installment. Also be on the lookout for Josh Holloway, Tom Wilkinson, and Michael Nyqvist. If the teasers and trailers are any indication however, there’s still too much life in the series for it to end here. And with producer J.J. Abrams touting Bird’s IMAX footage as “mind-blowing,” it’s just further proof that if they decided to end things here, at least they seem to be going out with a bang.

For the kiddie set, there’s yet another entry to the dreadful “Alvin and the Chipmunks” series. Some day studios will learn that this live-action/CGI hybrid stuff just doesn’t work. But alas, audiences keep flocking, the rest of the world keeps suffering, and Jason Lee will keep getting work. Too bad “My Name is Earl” was canceled bringing him back to this dreadful looking fiasco. This time the crew finds themselves “Chip-wrecked” (hardy har har) on a deserted island where they seem to bide their time waiting for rescue singing Lady Gaga songs. As if some of her work wasn’t already annoying enough, we should never have the “opportunity” to feast our ears upon her playlist by way of the “Chipmunks.”

December 21

In the interest of there being six big movies opening within four days, we’ll keep the rest of this shorter and sweeter. Today we get two of the most highly anticipated films of the season, along with two high profile directors, but two wholly different features, both featuring protagonists on a mighty quest. In Steven Spielberg’s first foray into motion capture technology comes his adaptation of Hergé’s beloved “Adventures of Tintin.” While the “Secret of the Unicorn” subtitle has been dropped, screenwriters Steven Moffat (“Doctor Who”), Edgar Wright (“Shaun of the Dead”), and Joe Cornish (“Attack the Block”) will be making sure they keep things on a grand scale. On the flip side of things, David Fincher returns to his darker roots with his Hollywood version of “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.” With Daniel Craig stepping in as Mikael Blomkvist and Rooney Mara taking over as Lisbeth Salander, we’ll see if Fincher can one up the original Swedish version of Stieg Larsson’s acclaimed novel.

December 23

When you haven’t released a film in six years people are going to hold you up against your yesteryears. For Cameron Crowe, this means the ilk of such films as “Say Anything…,” “Singles,” “Jerry Maguire,” and “Almost Famous.” While I am a fan of one of his two lesser but more recent affairs (“Vanilla Sky,” not “Elizabethtown”), when you have Matt Damon in the lead, you could probably make any kind of film you wanted. What Crowe has decided to bring us is an adaptation of Benjamin Mee’s true life account of uprooting his family to a zoo to spend their days. Hilarity and lots of heart will undoubtedly prevail.

December 25

There have been lots of horror movies released on Christmas Day. So finding a 3-D alien invasion flick headed our way should come as no huge surprise. I still remember going to see “The Faculty” on the year’s biggest holiday, even if I was one of extremely few. Coming from the man who directed a great little horror diddy already, “Right at Your Door,” we’ll see if Chris Gorak can make due with producer Timur Bekmambetov (“Wanted”) behind him as aliens attack Moscow and Emile Hirsch must save the day in “The Darkest Hour.”

Films about 9/11 have started to dwindle as of late, but thankfully none of them have been anywhere near as cinematically abysmal as “Remember Me.” Thankfully for “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close,” a writer (Eric Roth of “Forrest Gump”) and director (Stephen Daldry, “Billy Elliot”) with some class have been brought on to direct a grade-A cast (Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, John Goodman, Max von Sydow, Viola Davis). Newcomer Thomas Horn may have won “Teen Jeopardy” but now he’s making the leap from the small screen to the big one to portray young Oskar Schell who’s in search of the lock that a key from his father (Hanks) left behind after dying in the 9/11 attacks. Heartstrings will be pulled but I suspect the sentiment will be real for a change.

And finally, Steven Spielberg gives us a second helping of cinema with his big screen epic adaptation of “War Horse.” When Michael Morpurgo’s novel has already been brought to us on stage with puppets and five Tony Awards no less, I’m sure Spielberg will find a way to make sure his film is of the grand scale it deserves. Having screenwriting masterminds Lee Hall (“Billy Elliot”) and Richard Curtis (“Love Actually,” “Four Weddings and a Funeral”) can’t hurt either. I’ve heard the scope of the film is everything old school in both Hollywood and Spielberg so my fingers are crossed that the 147 minute runtime is well deserved.

With nothing opening after Christmas Day until 2012, there’s clearly already way too much headed our way anyway. With the Thanksgiving films hopefully holding over as well, there’s plenty to keep everyone occupied with too many worthwhile films to see. Have a safe and happy holiday everyone and we’ll see you next year!

Movie Review: “Arthur Christmas”

2011-11-30T07:21:00.000-07:00

“Arthur Christmas” deserves to find its legs over the holiday season.

**** out of 5
Rated PG for some mild rude humor
97 minutes
Sony Pictures Animation

Article first published as Movie Review: Arthur Christmas on Blogcritics.

As much as I love watching my annual onslaught of horror movies every October, even more so do I love my Christmas season movies. The standards are obvious (“White Christmas,” “A Christmas Story,” “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” “Scrooged”). But I also love the not so standards (“Gremlins,” the first two “Die Hards,” “Lethal Weapon”). Probably my all time favorite Christmas film would have to be “Love Actually.” Sadly, the last decade has been pretty shoddy with Hollywood's treatment of the genre. Now it appears like Aardman Animation is attempting to save the day with “Arthur Christmas.”

Last year we received the surprise Finnish present, “Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale,” but aside from that, our very own Hollywood has been treating us for years with worthless entries. Ranging from “Disney’s A Christmas Carol,” “Four Christmases,” “Fred Claus,” “Deck the Halls,” “The Santa Clause 3,” “Surviving Christmas,” “Christmas with the Kranks,” and “The Polar Express,” it seems as if studio execs have had it in for the holiday – the few exceptions being “Bad Santa,” “Elf,” and the aforementioned “Love Actually.”

Here, Arthur (voiced by James McAvoy) is one of Santa’s (voiced by Jim Broadbent) two sons. Arthur bides his time working in the letters department, answering letters addressed to dear old Santa Claus and making sure they believe his bowl full of jelly. Steve (voiced by Hugh Laurie) happens to be Santa’s other son. He runs mission control for old Saint Nick. If you’ve ever wondered how Santa manages to deliver his gifts to all the children of the world, this movie may just take the cake in answering the age-old question. Having just returned from this year’s “mission,” aboard the S-1 (which looks an awful lot like the Starship Enterprise), Steve and Santa are certain that not one child has been missed.

Turns out that Gwen (voiced by Ramona Marquez), in Cornwall, England, has in fact been missed. All she wants is a new bike, found in its wrapping by a giftwrapping elf named Byrony (voiced by Ashley Jensen). While Steve convinces Santa that one child is a miniscule detail, Arthur is convinced that it could mean the end of everything they stand for. Now Arthur embarks on his own mission to deliver the bike himself because no child should be left behind. Along with his Grandsanta (voiced by Bill Nighy) and Byrony stowed away, they break out Grandsanta’s original 150-year-old sleigh, Evie, and they’re off on a series of hilarious misadventures, complete with having the entire world thinking we may be under alien attack.

First time director Sarah Smith and co-writer Peter Baynham (“Borat,” “Big Train,” “I’m Alan Partridge”) bring a wicked sensibility to the film and never forget that there are adults in the audience too. While the film may not be a gut busting good time, there’s still a whole lot of heart and holiday cheer. It would take the coldest of souls to not walk out of the theater in the holiday spirit. A black sense of humor runs through the proceedings and it’s all for the better as it will whiz right over the youngest of heads but give the rest of us just as much to be thankful for. While Aardman may be best known for their brilliant claymation “Wallace & Gromit” adventures, it was only a matter of time before they too jumped on the computer-animated bandwagon. If this is what they’re bringing to the table, then by all means, the more the merrier.

The only misstep happens to come from Sony Pictures themselves. And that just so happens to be the inexplicable inclusion of a ludicrous Justin Bieber music video for his slaying of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” which precedes the film. The video comes complete with Michael Jackson dance styling infusion. While Bieber’s take may be just about one of the worst renditions of a classic song ever, at least the film itself more than makes up for the travesty inflicted upon us an unsuspecting audience. If you show up three minutes late to “Arthur Christmas” you’ll be doing yourself a huge favor.

Photos courtesy Sony Pictures Animation

Movie Review: “The Muppets”

2011-11-29T07:36:00.000-07:00

Life's a happy song, now that "The Muppets" have returned.

***** out of 5
Rated PG for some mild rude humor.
98 minutes
Walt Disney Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: The Muppets on Blogcritics.

When I turned one, my parents birthed an obsession. For my birthday they gifted me with my first Kermit the Frog plush and the seed was forever planted. Over the past 31 years apparently I have not been the only one. I just don’t have the means to make a movie about it. Thankfully, a fellow obsessor by the name of Jason Segel does. With the help from his friend Nicholas Stoller, the two have joined forces with “Flight of the Conchords” co-creator James Bobin to finally bring us the film fans have been clamoring for since 1996’s “Muppet Treasure Island” with “The Muppets.”

Segel may not be the first person who comes to mind when you think of someone to rebirth “kid’s” series. Making his way to stardom in R-rated raunch fests such as “Bad Teacher,” “I Love You, Man,” “Knocked Up,” and his own “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” But bare in mind, it was probably “Sarah Marshall” that got him the job. His character Peter Bretter was also just a tad obsessed with puppetry and that film climaxed in one of the funniest puppet plays outside of anything Muppet related. It was no surprise to me when “The Muppets” was announced with Segel co-writing the screenplay alongside Stoller.

“The Muppets” immediately introduces us to brothers Gary (Segel) and Walter (Peter Linz). Walter just may be the Muppets' biggest fan. He owns everything from the Kermit watch to just about every other piece of Muppet memorabilia ever manufactured. Gary has a girlfriend named Mary (Amy Adams). She teaches at Smalltown Elementary and the three are about to embark on a ten year anniversary trip to Los Angeles. Mary isn’t particularly ecstatic to have Walter tagging along but Muppet Studios is in Los Angeles and there’s no way they could not take Walter.

Upon arrival, they find out, much to their dismay that Muppet Studios has been condemned and the group has fallen out. Walter sneaks into Kermit’s (Steve Whitmire) old office where he overhears Waldorf (Dave Goelz) and Statler (Whitmire) explaining to oily Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) that if the Muppets can’t come up with $10 million in two weeks they forfeit the studio lot along with their franchise title. Walter eventually explains the situation to Gary and Mary then it’s off to find Kermit’s “mansion” to enlist the help from the only frog who can rally everyone up.

Soon enough, Gary, Mary, Walter, Kermit, Fozzie (Eric Jacobson), Sam Eagle (Jacobson), Rowlf (Bill Barretta), Beaker (Whitmire), Dr. Bunsen (Goelz), and Electric Mayhem, are together again. The only missing piece of the puzzle, of course, is the inclusion of Miss Piggy (Jacobson). After traveling by map to Paris, where Miss Piggy works at Vogue Paris, she falls for the old Muppet Man gag but she informs everyone that she’s sworn to never rejoin the group after they too had a falling out after getting married.

Back in L.A. the Muppets have decided they need to get that $10 million to take back their studio and keep their name. After CDE Executive (Rashida Jones) informs them that they just aren’t famous anymore, they coincidentally come up with the brilliant idea for a telethon after Junior CDE Executive (Donald Glover) tells her that their hit show “Punch Teacher” has been canceled and now there’s a two-hour black hole of programming to fill. Only catch is, they have to have a celebrity host. While Kermit wrings through his rolodex of celebrities and comes up empty, Miss Piggy stages a “celebrinap” and now it’s Jack Black to the rescue – even if against his will. But Tex Richman has his own nefarious plans to replace them all with Bizarro World versions called “The Moopets.”

Can the Muppets come up with the $10 million in time before the deed to the studio and their namesake expire at midnight? Will Gary finally ask Mary to marry him? Does Walter have what it takes to become a true Muppet himself? Can Chris Cooper rap? All this and more is answered in the most hilarious, heartfelt film of the year. The jokes pile high and everything works. Leave it to the Muppets to make cameos hilarious again. The film stays true to Muppet roots while managing to usher in a new audience. I’m completely convinced that every adult in the audience was probably more excited than their children ever could be for this new entry to the Muppet canon. And let’s not forget the brilliant new songs brought to life by director Bobin co-written by his “Conchords” cohort Bret McKenzie. Instant classics, every last one.

And “The Muppets” isn’t even upstaged by the laugh till you cry “Toy Story Toons” that’s attached. Yes, the toys are back and in “Small Fry” they’re touching on issues even better suited than tricking Barbie and Ken into thinking they’re on a Hawaiian vacation. While Disney and Pixar were lambasted for providing us their official weakest link in “Cars 2” (which coincidentally is prominently featured on several billboards at least twice during the film), they both have completely redeemed themselves here. While “Super 8” had been my favorite film of the year, I was waiting to see if “The Muppets” could beat it. And yes, this is most definitely the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational film of the year, if not years.

Photos courtesy Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Movie Review: “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1”

2011-11-18T15:12:00.000-07:00

Even a polished turd still stinks.

** ½ out of 5
117 minutes
Rated PG-13 for disturbing images, violence, sexuality/partial nudity and some thematic elements.
Summit Entertainment

It’s that time of the year again. Yes, it is the holidays, but the flavor of the week right now just so happens to be the third sequel and the first part of the so-called “worldwide phenomenon.” Yet again, the age-old drama of one woman’s love will be tested. First it was necrophilia and then it was bestiality, now comes just about the only taboo subject left uncharted: pedophilia. While this may not directly apply to the main characters, it certainly rears its hilarious head in “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1.”

When every film in your franchise has a new director, it has to be awfully hard to keep a consistent tone. Director Bill Condon’s resume consists of more adult films (“Dreamgirls,” “Kinsey,” “Gods and Monsters,” “Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh”). Parents would gasp if they even thought their tweens were watching at least three of those. What Condon has managed to bring to this installment is a slight sense of maturity. What the series still lacks is a sense of humor. Oh, there are plenty of laughs to be had for sure, but almost all of them are of the unintentional variety. I’m sure largely due to Melissa Rosenberg still not having much to work with from Stephenie Meyer's novel.

Anyone who doesn’t know an ounce of plot for this has either been living under a rock or is, thankfully for them, completely dismissive of the whole series. We begin with a slight recap from “Eclipse” as Jacob (Taylor Lautner) checks his invitation at the door to the wedding of Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) on his way to ripping off his shirt in the rain to transform into a wolf to go into hiding from his emotions out in the wilderness. Then we very briefly see some of the wedding prep, where I guess we’re supposed to be reminded that Bella is something of a tomboy as she gets training in high heels from Alice (Ashley Greene).

Now that Bella and Edward are married, they make a pit stop on their way to their honeymoon destination in Rio de Janeiro. Their final destination happens to be a seemingly deserted tropical island chock full of sunshine. Every vampire’s favorite hideaway these days, right? So even though Jacob gave Bella a stern talking to about the dangers of vampire sex, Bella just wants to get it on now that they’re happily married. After a few (literal) headboard breaking, pillow shredding, bruise inducing sex sessions, it’s only after two weeks that Bella realizes she’s missed her period. Or as the critic sitting next to me pointed out, “Of course, she’s late; otherwise, he’d be all over that.”

The new dilemma this time is finally realized as Bella and Edward must come to terms with the pregnancy. How a dead vampire’s sperm still swims, let alone how he gets an erection, is beyond me. Maybe Edward was turned with a hard on and he just hasn’t called a doctor since it’s been way longer than four hours, but I digress. Anyhow, Bella is taken under the wing of the Cullens’ and even Jacob comes to terms with her being one of them now, and everyone must find a way for Bella to have her little bundle of joy, even if it may kill her. I won’t go into spoiler territory, but if you can’t see where this is headed, you just may be the target audience.

There’s been a lot of talk recently about the sex scenes having to be trimmed in order to secure the tween friendly PG-13 rating. However, there’s really just about as much sex in here as anything on TV rated MA. I always thought that was reserved for R-rated deserving programming but apparently so long as you keep the thrusting to a minimum, it’s all good. Yes, the roadrunner effects pop up a few times, but don’t look anywhere near as bad as they did in the first three installments. But props must be given to Condon for his pacing. This is the first “Twilight” film that didn’t have me checking my watch every five minutes. Seriously, how dead paced are those first three? Sheesh.

Maybe the reason being is just how much funnier this one is than the others. Just you wait until you bare witness to one of the most singlehandedly flat out hilarious things ever committed to celluloid. I won’t give everything away, but let’s just say that the wolf effects are funnier than ever. And as if one wolf doesn’t look bad enough trouncing through the woods alone, wait until you see a whole pack of them… in broad daylight... talking to each other telepathically while howling and snarling. Oh man, just thinking back on this scene has me laughing out loud.

Needless to say, Condon has finally managed to bring a, dare I say, watchable “Twilight” film that for the first time didn’t leave me despising it upon leaving the theater. It’s still in no way a good movie and from the beginning, the series needed to tread the R-rated waters I’ve been told it embraces in the books. But alas, at least Summit has finally delivered something that actually looks like a film and not two hours of amateur hour. So if anyone is assuming I am giving this film a recommendation, let’s just say that even a polished turd is still a turd. Just because it’s shiny and new doesn’t make it any less of a stinker. But at least this time the men getting dragged along to “Breaking Dawn” won’t hate themselves the morning after.

Photos courtesy Summit Entertainment

Movie Review: “J. Edgar”

2011-11-15T08:04:00.000-07:00

Performances save what would otherwise be another Eastwood snoozefest.

*** out of 5
Rated R for brief strong language.
137 minutes
Warner Bros. Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: J. Edgar on Blogcritics.

The list of Hollywood biopics is long. Very long. They’ll make a movie about pretty much anyone of any kind of notoriety. Most of the time, they’re pretty great. Giving us either a checklist of historical events or showing us some back-stories we may be unfamiliar with. That is, shedding light on a subject that hasn’t been given as much attention. When it comes to adapting a big production based around the life of one of America’s most influential and public faces, you better come up with something more than we may think we already know. And so is, sort of, the case with Clint Eastwood’s “J. Edgar.”

Writer Dustin Lance Black is no stranger to the subject of biopics. He may have given us the Oscar winning screenplay for “Milk,” but he also wrote the screenplay for “Pedro.” This was the film about the first HIV-positive homosexual reality TV star from MTV’s “The Real World: San Francisco.” I’m sure most people have never heard of “Pedro,” but “Milk” happened to be nominated for Best Picture at the 2009 Academy Awards and I’m certain that Black, along with Eastwood, have their sights set on a similar projection. Given the fact they have Leonardo DiCaprio starring as the titular character looks to only be further trying to seal the deal.

A fellow critic told me that “J. Edgar” featured a “Wikipedia screenplay.” And it’s pretty true. But in the case of the performances, that’s where the film truly shines. It starts with Hoover meeting with a writer (Robert Irwin) to tell his life story in his own words — with events ranging from his earliest job in Mitchell Palmer’s (Geoff Pierson) office to his dead-end attempts to woo Helen Grandy (Naomi Watts). It mostly plays out like an interweaving of skits based on true events. We also get the founding of the Bureau of Investigation, where his forensic science is shunned for its “extreme” nature such as employing wood specialist Arthur Koehler (Stephen Root), along with the transition of gangster films to the G-men heroes of the silver screen after the arrest of “Machine Gun” Kelly, and of course the Lindbergh (Josh Lucas) baby gets its due.

The largest amount of screentime happens to be split between the two biggest relationships in Hoover’s life: his mother Annie (Judi Dench) and Clyde Tolson (“The Social Network’s” Armie Hammer). At first you may be wondering why a man who leads the nation’s FBI still lives at home with his mother, but it makes sense when you take into account how much time he also spends at work and socially with Tolson. Yes, Eastwood and Black make no attempts to hide Hoover’s homosexuality and there’s even one scene with a pretty monumental kiss between the two. However, some of this plays a little too much like “Psycho”-lite and comes across almost as unintentionally funny. Thankfully we have the scenes being handled with the utmost care by DiCaprio, Hammer, and Dench.

The film could also easily have fallen apart in the hands of a lesser director. But Eastwood manages to handle everything as maturely as it deserves. However, the screenplay seems to be trying so hard to piece everything together that without Eastwood and the rest of the cast everything would have been another story altogether. The ending seems be trying to pack a bigger emotional wallop than it can conjure up and also seems oddly out of place. It heads straight down the “Beautiful Mind” route but with the story being about Norman Bates rather than John Nash, or even the film’s own Hoover.

In the end, if the film is nominated for anything, it will surely be for acting and possibly Best Picture. Let’s face it; these are the films that Oscar is prone for. While it in no way deserves the highest honor, the cast may still receive their due, along with the makeup department. That is if they discount the scenes featuring an aged Armie Hammer who looks like he’s stepped off the set of “Saturday Night Live” wearing a Tolson Halloween mask. It’s made even more evident how sketchy his makeup is when he’s filmed standing next to DiCaprio in broad daylight. Even if yet another critic friend hadn’t pointed it out prior to seeing the film it’s still just as blatantly bad. And DiCaprio’s brown contacts are a bit of a distraction. In the darker lit scenes he comes off almost vampiric.

Granted, there are some pacing issues but the length is never as wince inducing as some of Eastwood’s more recent films. The runtime flies by compared to the likes of “Million Dollar Baby,” “Gran Torino,” or even worse, “Hereafter.” “J. Edgar” may owe a large debt to Martin Scorsese’s own DiCaprio starring “Aviator” and maybe even Michael Mann’s “Public Enemies,” but if you’re looking for a big budget Hollywood biopic you could certainly do a lot worse.

Photos courtesy Warner Bros.

Movie Preview: November 2011

2011-11-04T08:20:00.000-06:00

I'm as excited as Animal for November. Movies! Movies! Movies!

Article first published as Movie Preview: November 2011 on Blogcritics.

Now that we’ve plundered the bottom of Hollywood’s barrel the last few months, it’s high time for both Oscar bait and yuletide offerings throughout November. While one of the two Christmas flicks will undoubtedly be better than the other, there’s always room for possible guilty pleasures. Let’s take a gander and see what’s being thrown under the tree for cinemagoers this year.

November 4

Maybe giving themselves a little too much room for repeat value comes those loveably bumbling stoners (Kal Penn and John Cho) in “A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas.” Todd Strauss-Schulson is making his directing debut so we’ll have to see if the series’ creator’s (Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg) have left us some Christmas cheer while they’re off handling directing duties (or would that be doodies?) on the fourth official sequel for Universal’s “American Reunion.” Face-shot Santas, naked nubiles, and claymation all make this ripe for the course of hilarity but we shall see if “Harold & Kumar” can keep the old saying true about the third time being the charm.

While the original idea for “Tower Heist” has been claimed by star Eddie Murphy to have been conceived as a “black ‘Ocean’s Eleven,’” it seems that director Brett Ratner got his hands all over this thing and the end was nigh. Now filled to the brim with the likes of Casey Affleck, Matthew Broderick, Michael Peña, Gabourey Sidibe, Judd Hirsch, and Téa Leoni, it seems like lead Ben Stiller and Ratner have just called on a few of their friends to pick up the slack. How Alan Alda got culled into this is beyond me.

Featuring a screenplay by Ted Griffin (the man who gloriously updated “Eleven” himself), however, it was co-written by Jeff Nathanson who just so happens to have treated us to the “Indy IV” story, along with the screenplays for “Rush Hour 2” and “3” and “Speed 2: Cruise Control.” Just because he co-wrote Spielberg’s “The Terminal” and “Catch Me If You Can” means nothing with the rest of his credits working so hard against him. But word-of-mouth isn’t horrible and maybe Ratner has finally learned there’s more to making an action film than flashy special effects (“X-Men: The Last Stand”) and chop suey editing (the “Rush Hours”) but let’s not hold our breath, nobody likes a funeral.

November 9

There hasn’t been a mid-week opening in a while now (even if limited) so why not let it be for a man of such high acclaim as Clint Eastwood. Sure his last few films have been a mixture of snooze fests (“Gran Torino,” “Changeling,” “Million Dollar Baby”), the inexplicable (“Hereafter”), and occasionally accolade deserving (“Letters from Iwo Jima,” “Invictus”), the man knows what’s he’s doing most of the time. Hopefully “J. Edgar” can liven up his oeuvre with Leonardo DiCaprio as the titular head of the FBI. The trailer makes the film look like a cross between “The Aviator” and “The Departed” which is a huge step up in terms of entertainment value for Eastwood as of late. I hope it lives up to either of those films. Maybe it’s a case of working with a Dustin Lance Black (“Milk”) screenplay. All I know is Eastwood’s films could sure use the adrenaline.

November 11

When your marketing campaign consists solely of making sure you know it’s “From the Producers of ‘300’” and features a no-name cast, save for Mickey Rourke, maybe you should also mention that it’s from the director of the cult classic “The Cell,” Tarsem Singh. Oh wait, they used that strategy for his last film, “The Fall,” and attracted absolutely no one. So now they’ve upped the gladiator-esque angle and made it look like a “300”/“Watchmen” hybrid. The R-rating on “Immortals” is just about the only possible saving grace as it could be a guilty pleasure gore fest. Unfortunately, I’m suspecting that writers Charley and Vlas Parlapanides have only conjured up another 3-D borefest.

As if the date 11/11/11 wasn’t ominous enough, the producers of “Grown Ups” are promising to deliver an even worse film with Adam Sandler’s “Jack and Jill.” While he may have spoofed these types of films in Judd Apatow’s “Funny People,” we all know he’s never above actually making them. Now he’s back with director Dennis Dugan (single-handedly responsible for no less than eight Happy Madison efforts since his only good film “Happy Gilmore” back in 1996). Hard to believe that a man can make each film worse than the previous so repeatedly for 15 years and still find work. Must be nice to have friends in Hollywood who keep letting you ruin all of their own endeavors; not that they start out any better in the story stage. Now Sandler is playing his own fatter sister version of himself, making the audience want to puke “oy vey” in the process. Prepare to have your sense of good taste thrown out the window if you’re even considering sitting threw this dreck.

November 16

The second film of the month to get a limited mid-week release falls upon director Alexander Payne’s “The Descendants.” While he may not be a household name by any means, you’ve at least heard of his films. Payne is the man behind “Citizen Ruth,” “Election,” “About Schmidt,” “Sideways,” and “Jurassic Park III.” Now he brings us another novel adaptation. This time working from Kaui Hart Hemmings’ book about a father (George Clooney) trying to reconnect with his two daughters. The eldest played by none other than “The Secret Life of the American Teenager’s” own Shailene Woodley. Not my first choice for an Oscar-bait flick, but then again, Payne was able to finagle a hilarious performance out of Chris Klein in “Election” so who knows. With backup from Beau Bridges, Robert Forster, Judy Greer, and Matthew Lillard, this surely looks like it’s after at least one of those coveted gold statues.

November 18

As if the end wasn’t already nigh enough with “Jack and Jill” headed our way on 11/11/11, the beginning of the end rears its head with the first part of the “Twilight” saga finale, “Breaking Dawn - Part 1.” I have never, nor will ever, read any of this so-called “worldwide phenomenon” and from what I hear, the books aren’t really that much better. The only reason for attending a “Twilight” film in theaters is to laugh at how ludicrous it all is while being shushed by the “Twi-hards.” If this is what sets a teenage girl’s heart aflutter these days, thank Jeebus I grew up in the ‘80s for these be sad times. The best parts of this pregnancy-induced fourthquel are the prospects of the easiest porn spoof name yet, “Breaking Dong” (unfortunately, even that wouldn’t be anywhere near as hilarious on purpose as this will be unintentionally), and the fact that now there’s only one more film to suffer through.

Speaking of suffering through, another unnecessary computer-animated sequel marches forth with “Happy Feet Two.” Why George Miller thought this was a good idea instead of stepping back into his post-apocalyptic “Mad Max” world we’ll never know. All we know is that now Mumble (voiced by Elijah Wood) is back, this time bringing with him a tail-feather-shaking chick of his own. The only thing here that sparks my interest is the voice casting of Brad Pitt and Matt Damon as a couple of krill. Maybe if those two had written their own film featuring their characters it would have been worth noting. However, they’re stuck playing second fiddle along with everyone else to Robin Williams continuing to do his voice “acting” that has never reached his own bar set so high in Disney’s “Aladdin.”

November 23

In no particular order, there are three big family films opening today: “Arthur Christmas,” “Hugo,” and “The Muppets.” There’s not a whole lot that can be said to make expectations any higher for each of these films, save for maybe “Arthur Christmas.” What you may not know is that it’s Aardman Animations’ first feature since 2006’s “Flushed Away.” While that one didn’t quite live up to their own reputation for the house that “Wallace & Gromit” built, this one should set them back on track. Featuring an all-star voice cast including James McAvoy as the titular Arthur, along with Hugh Laurie, Bill Nighy, Jim Broadbent, and Will Sasso playing “American James,” the trailer should help seal the deal. Hilarity will surely ensue.

Speaking of which, leave it to the man behind a brilliant Dracula-musical-within-a-movie (Jason Segel’s “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”) to give us a brand spanking new Muppets movie. Yes, “The Muppets” are finally back on the big screen for the first time since 1999. “Muppets from Space” may not have been their finest achievement but it’s been far too long since the whole gang was together in true form. No one is spared as Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Rowlf, Swedish Chef, Pepe the Prawn, Waldorf, Statler, Animal, Dr. Teeth, and Beaker all gave us something to really laugh about. Segel has a deep understanding and true love for these characters and everyone will undoubtedly be given their due. Along with his “Sarah Marshall” cohort, Nicholas Stoller, and director James Bobin (“Flight of the Conchords”), they’ve even wrangled up Bret McKenzie as music supervisor just to put the icing on the cake. This is the movie I’ve been most excited for all year. Yes, even more so than “Super 8!” Can. Not. Wait!

To round out our Thanksgiving offerings comes the first kid-friendly flick of Martin Scorsese’s four and a half decade career. With John Logan (“Rango”) adapting Brian Selznick’s “The Invention of Hugo Cabret” about a boy who lives in the walls of a train station, and a cast consisting of Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen, Ray Winstone, Emily Mortimer, Christopher Lee, Richard Griffiths, Jude Law, and our heroes Chloë Grace Moretz and Asa Butterfield as Hugo himself, this thing looks primed and ready. Let alone that Scorsese is also making his first foray into 3-D filmmaking. Will he come back to the format? Only time shall tell, along with how well the film works out. But between these three family offerings, I’m personally excited for all three and I’m 31 years old. That should definitely say something.

So alas, we’ve finally got lots of things to look forward to here, even if none of them are really expected to be tempting Oscar to look their way. While there’s a slight lull mid-month, at least it looks to be going out with a bang. In the meantime, there are more than enough offerings to tide us over as December actually looks pretty barren. But we’ll get to that when it gets here. Now everyone have a safe and happy holiday!

Photos courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures, Columbia Pictures, Summit Entertainment, Walt Disney Pictures

Movie Review: “Puss in Boots”

2011-10-31T07:39:00.000-06:00

DreamWorks pulls off a twofer for 2011.

**** ½ out of 5
Rated PG for some adventure action and mild rude humor.
90 minutes
Paramount Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Puss in Boots (2011) on Blogcritics.

In a perfect world, there would be no such thing as mediocre amongst the Pixar catalogue. But alas, every few years, John Lasseter wants to deliver another “Cars” film. While DreamWorks may be better known for throwing a few clunkers our way, the last few years have been mighty kind. Maybe it’s losing all those coveted Best Animated Feature Oscars along the way. Not that this weekend’s “Puss in Boots” will completely change that but it’s continuing in the right direction.

All that aside, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it every time: as of now, so long as DreamWorks isn’t trolling out another “Shrek” film, they seem to do mighty fine. Looking back over their list of films since “Shrek” premiered just over ten years ago they’re actually doing way better than I make it sound. The only true stinkers being “Shark Tale,” and the last two “Shrek” films, “Shrek the Third” and “Shrek Forever After.”

When you notice the director of “Puss in Boots” is none other than Chris Miller, the director of “Shrek the Third” (arguably one of the worst DreamWorks feature thus far), it gives cause for alarm. Can he pull a nice little trick out of his hat and deliver the prequel we’ve been waiting for since Puss made his first appearance back in 2004’s “Shrek 2?” We all know Puss has been the best thing to happen to that entire franchise so it was only a matter of time before his tale was finally told.

“Puss in Boots” works as an origin story, but keeps the film within the fractured “Shrek” fairy tale land while never sinking so low as to even conjure up any of those films’ characters. “Puss” (voiced by Antonio Banderas) has his own tale to be told. Here we find that as a young kitten, he is placed within an orphanage in San Ricardo, where he quickly befriends Humpty Dumpty (voiced by Zach Galifianakis). The two aspire to grow up and escape the confines of said orphanage to fulfill Humpty’s dreams of finding Jack’s magical beans that lead to a giant castle where the golden goose lies ripe for the taking if they can get it past the Great Terror.

There’s also a subplot involving Jack (voiced by Billy Bob Thornton) and Jill (voiced by Amy Sedaris), who already have possession of the magical beans, as well as one with Kitty Softpaws (voiced by Salma Hayek). Will Puss and Kitty find love amongst the betrayal and swash buckling? Can Humpty and Puss make nice and get over their sordid past involving a bank heist where Humpty is left on a bridge to be imprisoned? Can a film filled to the brim with cat jokes continue the funny for a brisk 90 minutes? Find out all this and much much more because the cat’s out of the bag on this one.

With a surprisingly minimal four credited writers (Brian Lynch, David H. Steinberg, Tom Wheeler, Jon Zack), including an uncredited rewrite from executive producer Guillermo del Toro, the “Puss in Boots” team have delivered and then some. I had high hopes for this entry in the “Shrek” canon but was yet to be convinced. And if it wasn’t for “Rango” and “Kung Fu Panda 2” already having been released, they’d have a mighty fine chance at winning that coveted Oscar for this one. However, DreamWorks now has a fighting chance with two possible nominations where Pixar may not even receive one (“Ohhh,” as one “Puss” character may say).

Charles Perrault’s timeless character is finally given his due, and so are we as one of the year’s flat out hilarious films, along with one of the most action packed, has arrived.

Photos courtesy DreamWorks Animation

Movie Review: “Paranormal Activity 3”

2011-10-22T17:35:00.000-06:00

Genuinely creepy for the first hour. Then comes the "mythology" to screw it all up.

*** out of 5
Rated R for some violence, language, brief sexuality and drug use
85 minutes
Paramount Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Paranormal Activity 3 on Blogcritics.

Just last week in my review for the remake of “The Thing,” I mentioned that when it comes to prequels, you either have a checklist of unexplained events to answer for or you can have some fun and build upon what’s already been laid out. The new “Thing” did this extremely well. When it comes to this weekend’s horror entry, “Paranormal Activity 3,” not so much. Paramount Pictures obviously wants film after film of groundwork laid, but this is becoming an alarmingly weak foundation.

I have to admit, when Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman were announced as directors of the series’ second prequel, I breathed a sigh of relief. Here are directors who know the genre all too well. Their extraordinary “Catfish” was a work of sheer genius. How much of their documentary was fake, who knows. And who cares? It was a great thrill ride featuring one of the best twist finales in years. It also featured a few horror elements sprinkled in a couple of scenes which is no doubt how Joost and Schulman scored this gig.

Unfortunately, they’re also straddled with the screenplay courtesy of Christopher B. Landon. From the mind who gave us both “Disturbia” (fun) and “Blood and Chocolate” (atrocious), he also was partially responsible for “Paranormal Activity 2.” Given that both “sequels” are prequels, I can only imagine that this format to the series is mostly his. And it’s a nice twist on the standard genre trend. Why not keep going backwards to root out “how the activity began,” as the film’s tagline reads? I’ll tell you why not, because none of it makes a lick of sense.

If you watched these three films chronologically, they’d function the same way most horror series do. If “3” came first it could be heralded as fantastic in comparison to “2” and “1,” which would come off as being standardized sequels. This theory actually makes sense as the end of the original Paranormal Activity” was the worst thing ever sprung from the mind of Steven Spielberg. People may pick on “Hook” or “The Lost World,” but we all know by now that the first “Paranormal” ending was his idea, and what a horrible idea if there ever was one. What worked marginally well for a good 85 minutes has the final minute completely obliterate any sense of fun.

The same is pretty true with “3” as well. We begin somewhere in the timeline of “2” with Rey sisters Kristi (Sprague Grayden) and Katie (Katie Featherstone) prepping for the birth of Kristi’s baby boy. Katie has also brought along some boxes she got stuck with after their grandma Lois passed away. And so begins the new installment. Now we are treated to the series’ most likeable couple, Dennis (Christopher Nicholas Smith) and Julie (Lauren Bitter), Kristi and Katie’s mother. Dennis is their stepfather and is looked down upon by Lois because he doesn’t offer any financial security by just being a wedding videographer. Of course, this means that he has access to multiple video cameras and keeps a steady supply of video tapes in the garage where his editing station is.

Now we learn that as a child, Kristi (Jessica Tyler Brown) has an imaginary friend named Toby. Katie (Chloe Csengery), is always playing the older sister role by making Kristi participate in family birthday parties and calling her a baby for having an imaginary friend. Soon enough, all sorts of spooky noises are heard through the house and all kinds of paranormal activities rear their head. At least this time Joost and Schulman play up some nods to “Poltergeist,” along with its sequel (for better and worse here), and a dash of “The Blair Witch Project” for good measure.

The performances in “Paranormal Activity 3” work as the film’s superglue. But even superglue has the ability to wear away after so long. Like I said, eventually Paramount Pictures seems to have demanded that the film continues its headlong nosedive into the series’ own mythology, which just makes the proceedings more ludicrous as the minutes tick by. This is also by far the least boring of the three films, but some would wholeheartedly argue with that.

In the end, if you’re a fan of the series you will love this entry as Ariel and Schulman pull off some fun stunts, and they even get to rely on the age old drama of someone dropping something down the garbage disposal. So if you like these films go for it. There’s really not much playing right now in the way of horror, and it is October for crying out loud. The good old days are definitely behind us as we’ve already been treated to both “Insidious” and “Scream 4” all the way back in April, while “Final Destination 5” spectacularly killed off its latest round of pretty young actors last month before “Fright Night” vanished, and the only other horror film playing right now is “The Thing.” While the better of these two won’t make a lick of money compared to the other, at least “Paranormal Activity 3” isn’t a total bust. I just wish that someone could figure out how to end one of these things... if not the whole enterprise.

Photos courtesy Paramount Pictures

Movie Review: “The Thing”

2011-10-15T09:31:00.000-06:00

Some“Thing” wound up being the best horror film of the year.

***** out of 5
Rated R for strong creature violence and gore, disturbing images, and language.
103 minutes
Universal Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: The Thing (2011) on Blogcritics.

Remakes are probably way too easy to make these days. When motion pictures have been on a virtual production line since 1914’s “Birth of a Nation,” there’s an interminable amount of features you could consider. Making a prequel, however, gives someone the opportunity to both not only take a few liberties but also satiate fanboys’ desires at the same time. When the film you’re leading up to is John Carpenter’s “The Thing,” you’ve got yourself quite a heavy load.

Having just rewatched the original merely days ago on Blu-ray, I couldn’t help but walk into director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.’s prequel with a long checklist of events that need to happen. To say that he, along with screenwriter Eric Heisserer (“Final Destination 5,” 2010’s “Nightmare on Elm Street”), succeeded is a bit of an understatement. There may be a few things that lend themselves to the territory of remake as well, but through and through, their “Thing” still finds plenty of new ways to cover old ground. Let’s also not forget that even Carpenter’s take was a remake as well. All three based on John W. Campbell Jr.’s short story, “Who Goes There?”

After the appropriately 1980s version of the Universal logo raises some serious goosebumps, and the 1982-version of font begins, expectations were immediately raised. It’s 1982 all over again as we’re swept away to the icy tundra of Antarctica. A group of Norwegian researchers, including Olav (Jan Gunnar Røise), are following a signal and it’s not long before they fall into a tight cavern uncovering a spacecraft that’s later mentioned to be 100,000 years old.

Turns out, there’s also a specimen on site so Dr. Sander Halvorson (Ulrich Thomsen) recruits Columbia University paleontologist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) to help him uncover the find. Now Kate is headed north along with Sander’s assistant Adam Goodman (Eric Christian Olsen), who explains to Kate that in the three years he’s worked with him he’s never seen Sander this excited. Along with a group of diggers and scientists, they all land at Thule Station with the news that a big storm’s headed their way. After the specimen is excavated, it’s only a matter of time before all hell breaks loose.

You may think you already know everything walking in, but Heijningen and Heisserer have conjured up a prequel with rare ambition. They never try to outdo Carpenter’s version, instead paying tribute in all the right ways. Everything from how the axe found its way into the wall to the man with the slit wrists in the chair to the man with the melting face is given its due. And, of course, it all organically leads into the beginning of the 1982 film. That is if you stick around for some of the end credits, FYI.

Thankfully, even with the use of some shaky cam, you always know what’s going on when the action and/or horror strikes thanks to some great cinematography courtesy Michel Abramowicz. And Marco Beltrami gives us the best creature feature score this side of Michael Giacchino’s “Super 8”. Some may balk at the use of today’s modernized CGI in some of the creature effects, but Alec Gillis and Tom Woodruff Jr.’s practical effects are put to splendid use as well. As Kate repeatedly yells through the film, be sure to “run!” to this new version of “The Thing.” It just may wind up being the best horror film of the year.

Photos courtesy Universal Pictures

Movie Review: “Real Steel”

2011-10-10T09:23:00.000-06:00

“Real Steel” is real dumb.

** ½ out of 5
Rated PG-13 for some violence, intense action and brief language.
127 minutes
Touchstone Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Real Steel on Blogcritics.

Some movies have the ability to start out with great pedigree then succumb to the nature of being cannibalized by Hollywood. For instance, say a film features two quality producers in the likes of both Steven Spielberg and Robert Zemeckis. Next, add in the fact that the film being adapted is based on a dystopian short story by none other than Richard Matheson. And finally, say the adaptations story is credited to Dan Gilroy (“The Bourne Legacy”) and Jeremy Leven (“Don Juan DeMarco,” “The Legend of Bagger Vance”). This is only some of the behind-the-scenes talent involved with “Real Steel,” but don’t get your hopes up just yet.

An official adaptation of a Rock’em Sock’em Robots film somehow just feels inevitable with Peter Berg bringing us an alien-infused “Battleship” and Ridley Scott is trying to get a “Monopoly” film on the way. But in the meantime we’re left with Wolverine himself, Hugh Jackman, amidst the directing duties of Shawn Levy. Bear in mind this is the same man who has burdened filmgoers with such calamities as “Big Fat Liar,” “Just Married,” “Cheaper by the Dozen,” “The Pink Panther,” and two “Nights at the Museum.”

While the first “Museum” was arguably passable entertainment it doesn’t hold up to repeat viewings at all. And the only film on his resume worth any attention is the Steve Carrel/Tina Fey venture “Date Night” . But I’m sure that film had everything to do with the cast involved and nothing to do with the screenplay or direction. Speaking of screenplays, while Gilroy and Leven are credited with the screen story, it’s John Gatins who receives credit for the screenplay. Here’s a man responsible for bringing us such classics as “Summer Catch,” “Hardball,” and “Coach Carter.” What? You don’t remember any of those flicks? Well, unfortunately I do and knowing this bit of information makes me less surprised about some of the machinations, let alone terrified to see what he will wring out for Zemeckis’ first live-action film (“Flight”) in eleven years.

In the year 2027, I will be 47 years old, but apparently the only thing that will have changed is literally only cell phones. At least as far as the world according to Levy is concerned. Humans in sports have also become a thing of the past and have been replaced by the World Robot Boxing League (WBR) where now we get giant robots; that are probably pretty cheap effects after three “Transformers” films. In the film however, these robots are far from cheap. They run upwards of $50,000. At least when they’re names consist of Ambush or Noisy Boy. The man behind these robots is Charlie Kenton (Jackman) who is a former boxer who luckily has not let his body go to waste.

After Ambush is gutted by a bull at a fair event, he now owes money to cowboy Ricky (Kevin Durand). Ricky wants his money but Charlie takes off in his truck to meet up with love interest/seeming-mechanical expert Bailey Tallet (Evangeline Lilly). On the day Noisy Boy shows up Charlie is also introduced to his abandoned son Max (Dakota Goyo, a kid as annoying as his name would suggest). Charlie has just signed over his parental rights to the boy’s aunt Debra (Hope Davis) in a secret exchange with her husband Marvin (James Rebhorn) for said $100,000; half now, the other half after they return from a nice, long trip to Italy sans child.

Now Charlie has Noisy Boy, the best robot to come out of Japan, but is also stuck with Max for the summer. After Charlie arrogantly gets Noisy Boy pummeled to pieces, they scavenge a metal recycling compound in a rain storm looking for parts to rebuild it. But in true Spielbergian fashion, Max is sliding down a ravine only to be saved by a generation two robot Max digs out and names Atom. Before you can say father/son bonding, Max learns that Atom can understand him when the plot requires him too and that he’s got a built-in shadowing program which also comes in handy whenever convenience necessitates. Meanwhile, Farra (Olga Fonda) offers Charlie and Max $200,000 to make Atom a sparring ’bot for their world champion Zeus but of course Max refuses to sell and now Atom and Zeus may be pitted against each other in a duel to the death.

For a film about fighting robots and as being marketed as such, there’s an awful lot of awful dialogue. The humans are of absolute zero interest, yet there they are, scene after scene just yucking it up amongst themselves. This may be Levy’s most accomplished looking film to date but that doesn’t save any of us from his lack of subtlety, let alone Gatins even worse command of it. Even Jackman can’t hold up as the lead when all we want to see are the robots fighting each other but there’s maybe twenty minutes of that in a two hour feature. As a deadbeat father, Jackman just can’t pull it off. When he’s not trying to look like he’s about to cry, he can’t keep himself from maneuvering one Wolverine air kick, meanwhile Goyo just won’t shut up thanks to drinking the never-ending supply of the film’s biggest promoter, Dr. Pepper. Even poor Danny Elfman gets downgraded here providing the film nothing more than to cue the violins.

A good replacement for Jackman probably could have been made with Josh Holloway who’s already costarred with both Lilly and Durand on “Lost.” Perhaps then there may have been a chance for at least some chemistry between Charlie and Bailey and he could have brought a more respectably smart ass tone to the character. Now all we’re left with is a film ripe for cameos that never materialize and a bunch of humans who do all the talking when like I keep saying, all we want to see is robots fighting. Granted, I will give credit that what we do see of the fights is pretty awesome and could have made for grand entertainment. But alas, it all comes down to making the film family friendly and easily digestible for the masses. Something Levy knows far too well. In a world where Spielberg could have used this as an opportunity to whet our appetite for his upcoming “Robopocalypse,” unfortunately, “Real Steel” is just real dumb.

Photos courtesy Touchstone Pictures

Movie Preview: October 2011

2011-10-05T13:26:00.000-06:00

Just gotta trudge our way through October before Oscar comes calling.

Article first published as Movie Preview: October 2011 on Blogcritics.

When it comes to October, I guess the days of a new horror movie opening every weekend are long gone. While you may be able to curl up on the couch at home every night, there’s a mere two horror flicks opening this month. While one looks way better than the other, the latter still has something going for it behind the cameras that have piqued my interest. So alas, let us delve into the haunt free October that is 2011.

October 7

Kicking off with only two new openings comes one for the family, and one for the rest of us. Shawn Levy is not the man who first comes to mind when it comes to big budget action films with Steven Spielberg executive producing and Robert Zemeckis producing. Yet here comes the man behind such disasters as “Big Fat Liar,” “Just Married,” “Cheaper by the Dozen,” “The Pink Panther,” and the second “Night at the Museum,” bringing us an unofficial Rock’em Sock’em Robots film. Granted, the first “Night at the Museum” wasn’t a complete bust but I have no doubt the only thing holding “Date Night” together was Tina Fey and Steve Carell. In “Real Steel,” the gist is that it’s set in the future where robots duke it out in the ring instead of humans. I have some choice words to say about this one and they’ll all be available later this week.

On the flip side of things, we do get a new George Clooney movie! Whether he’s in front of, or behind the camera, the man just does not produce a stinker. Okay, maybe “Ocean’s 12.” Now he brings us another possible Best Picture front runner with “The Ides of March.” Also in the spotlight is star Ryan Gosling who’s having the year of his life. Hot off his performance in “Blue Valentine” last year, 2011 has already given us “”“Crazy, Stupid, Love.” and “Drive.” Maybe we should just give him Best Actor right now on account of collective performances. Anyone? Anyone? Here Gosling plays second fiddle to Clooney’s Presidential candidate where he gets a crash course in corruption. While it sounds slightly cliché, Clooney is directing his own screenplay based on Beau Willimon’s (also credited as co-writer) play “Farragut North.” I think Clooney and company have cooked up another winner.

October 14

Two remakes hit screens this day and while I have seen one already, I can vouch that the other will be the greater of the two. First we get a completely unnecessary remake of the Kevin Bacon starring (cult) classic, “Footloose.” While that film may have been another step to securing Bacon as the huge star that is now, can the same be said for Kenny Wormald? I’ll let audiences be the judge here, but I’m sure had director Craig Brewer opted to adapt the Broadway version he may have really been onto something. But that’s about all I can say about this now.

Meanwhile, another John Carpenter classic gets a makeover in what’s being called a “prequel.” But anyone who’s ever seen his remake of “The Thing from Another World,” simply titled “The Thing,” knows that it’s a remake through and through. Thankfully they kept the R-rating and probably upped the gore quotient, even if it appears to be handled from the inside of a computer instead of with stellar practical and makeup effects ala Rob Bottin. At least director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. is keeping things looking cool enough to keep us hot-headed fanboys from getting too bent out of shape. Plus, it gives us all another chance to behold Mary Elizabeth Winstead up on the big screen.

We also get a new comedy from director David Frankel. While not a household name, he did provide us with “The Devil Wears Prada” and “Marley & Me.” Now he’s behind the camera again with his biggest comedic cast yet for an adaptation of the Mark Obmascik novel “The Big Year.” When your three leads consist of Steve Martin, Owen Wilson, and Jack Black, it’s even more surprising to find a supporting cast packed to the gills such as this. Not only will the comedic trio be on the lookout for the rarest birds in North America, they’ll be in cahoots with the likes of Jim Parsons, Rashida Jones, Anjelica Huston, Joel McHale, Tim Blake Nelson, Diane Wiest, Anthony Anderson, JoBeth Williams, Brian Dennehy, Kevin Pollack, and Corbin Bernsen… phew! I think I smell a sleeper hit in the making with this one.

October 21

Three different genre films open this day; our second horror helping along with a big, dumb, action movie, and another comedy. Up first is the film I should have absolutely no interest in seeing. After being burned by the first two “Paranormal Activity” films I should be holding this third at arms length. Yet leave it to Paramount Pictures to talk the minds behind one of my favorite Sundance Films (“Catfish”) into helming “Paranormal Activity 3.” Now we get to see how it all started back when Katie and Kristi are kids. Leave it to a spooky game of Bloody Mary to commence the shenanigans. While the series seemed headed for diminishing returns, I can’t help but love the trailers and TV spots for this one. Plus, like I said, I loved me some “Catfish” and was totally disgusted when the Academy deemed it ineligible for Best Documentary. Let’s see if Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman can finally give us what we’ve been waiting for.

Director Paul W.S. Anderson has honestly never made a quality film. Even his “Death Race” remake is just about the only thing he even has close to a guilty pleasure, which isn’t saying much. So now he sets his sights on bringing us yet another big budget explosion extravaganza with his version of Alexandre Dumas’ “Three Musketeers.” All I’ve gotten out of this so far is that things will blow up, swords will clang clang and swoosh swoosh, and cleavage will rear its head at every chance. I may feel cold on this one, but I have yet to even see one TV spot for the other action film headed our way today.

Another “Johnny English” heads our way, because apparently Universal is under some kind of contract to release all of Studio Canal’s features regardless of whether they make any money in the states or not. Needless to say, Rowan Atkinson’s titular character is “Reborn” and I’m sure audiences are as likely to show up as they were last time.

October 28

Just because the rest of the month seems lackluster doesn’t mean we can’t have four major releases this day. I’ll try to be quick as there’s only two really worth mentioning. First up is director Roland Emmerich’s first foray into a film that does not revolve the end of the world in some manner. Instead he thinks it’s a good idea to proclaim Shakespeare a fraud in “Anonymous.” If that doesn’t make one balk already, I don’t know what could.

Meanwhile, Andrew Niccol thought it was a good idea to cast Justin Timberlake “In Time” as the next big action star alongside Amanda Seyfried’s breasts. While the filmmakers are caught up in legal action, Timberlake tries to play serious action which will probably only make audiences laugh harder than when he’s in his annual “SNL Digital Short” contributions.

Finishing out the month is a couple of suave exercises in live action and the third dimension. First, DreamWorks finally brings forth the long-awaited “Puss in Boots” film with Antonio Banderas slipping into his most recognizable character as we all get to see what lead up to that fateful day where he meets up with “Shrek” and company. Director Chris Miller gives Charles Perrault’s feline lead his own flick, but let’s just pray that he learned from his mistake that was the unbearable “Shrek the Third.” Maybe the blame could solely be placed on that film’s thirteen(!) credited writers compared to “Boots’” seemingly simplified four here but we shall see.

And alas, here we also get treated to more semi-autobiographical misadventures of Hunter S. Thompson courtesy of Johnny Deep in “The Rum Diary.” Last time he slipped into the warped shoes of Thompson we were treated to Terry Gilliam’s “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.” While I still may not be able to sit through that head trip in one sitting, things look far more streamlined here thanks to writer/director Bruce Robinson. Tagging along for the ride in debauchery this time is Amber Heard, Giovanni Ribisi, Aaron Eckhart, Richard Jenkins. Having not directed a feature since 1992’s “Jennifer Eight,” I’m suspecting a lot of love to be awash over Robinson’s production.

So that about sums it up for October. Yes, not a whole lot to be excited about but definitely some tasty morsels sprinkled about to satiate our sweet tooth while we continue waiting it out for November and December when Oscar season really starts to kick it into high gear.

Photos courtesy DreamWorks, Fox 2000 Pictures, Universal Pictures, Summit Entertainment, Paramount Pictures

Movie Review: “50/50”

2011-10-03T10:07:00.000-06:00

So this is what Summit Entertainment uses their “Twilight” money on. Allow it.

*****
Rated R for language throughout, sexual content and some drug use.
99 minutes
Summit Entertainment

Article first published as Movie Review: 50/50 on Blogcritics.

When you set your sights on Hollywood, it’s probably hard to keep your independent filmmaking cred in tact. Using Will Reiser’s autobiographical debut screenplay and enlisting the likes of stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth Rogen was the best choice for director Jonathan Levine. After cutting his teeth with “All the Boys Love Mandy Lane” and winning the Sundance Film Festival’s Audience Award in 2008 for “The Wackness,” it’s no surprise to see Levine dipping his toes in the Hollywood pool. And now he brings his best film yet with “50/50.”

The mixture of humor and heart has long been a Hollywood staple. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. When it does, it’s a thing of beauty. Not to mention possible Oscar accolades. When you consider the fact that Reiser based the screenplay on his personal battle against cancer, it just kicks things up a notch. At first glance, Rogen and Gordon-Levitt may seem like an odd pairing but the two share a much more natural rapport than you’d assume. Also in Levine’s favor stand Anna Kendrick further proving herself so much better than those horrendous “vampire” flicks she’s contracted into, along with the charming as ever Anjelica Huston, and Opie’s daughter Bryce Dallas Howard in a possible chance at winning Best Villain at next year’s MTV Movie Awards.

The story is simple: Adam (Gordon-Levitt) lives a life of abiding by the rules; he won’t even jog against street signs when there’s no traffic in sight on an early Seattle morning. He has just provided his artist girlfriend Rachael (Howard) her own drawer and relies on his best friend Kyle (Rogen) to drive him around when he’s not taking the bus. After a few weeks of consistent back pain, Adam finally heads to the doctor only to be diagnosed with schwannoma, i.e. cancer. He tells Kyle, whose reaction is that he may throw up, along with Rachael, who claims she’s going to stand by him when he presents her with the easy out. But he hesitates to inform his smothering mother Diane (Huston), whose already dealing with enough issues as his father Richard (Serge Houde) has Alzheimer’s.

Soon enough, Adam finally feels the gravity of his situation. He’s starts chemotherapy sessions where he befriends older cancer patients Alan (Philip Baker Hall) and Mitch (Matt Frewer) who talk him into some pot macaroons. Adam also starts seeing Katherine (Kendrick), a therapist who happens to be a doctoral student only on her now third patient. As the condition worsens, Kyle continually tries to help Adam make the most of his situation after they shave his head when they start trying to pick up chicks at the bar using his cancer and medicinal marijuana to lure them back to his house. Let alone that all this is after Kyle catches Rachael kissing a bearded hippie at an art gallery confirming suspicions after Adam tells Kyle they haven’t had sex in weeks. Finally, Adam begins to rely on himself, his friends and family, and Katherine, to make it through the hardships.

If you’re not laughing one minute, you’ll be crying the next; at least in the final half hour. Thankfully the film never relies on simply cuing the violins or having the characters break into hysterics to pull the sentiment out of thin air. Here is a group of people you truly care about and want to see prevail against the odds. Even when Adam realizes that finally driving a car will have to make do as his Make a Wish. The cast plays like gangbusters and I won’t be surprised to see Gordon-Levitt nominated come Oscar time. Levine also has high chances as he pulls no punches with Reiser’s brilliantly self-deprecating yet emotionally brutally honest screenplay. I personally hope to see “50/50” nominated in at least four categories if not more. And I’d say if Reiser’s odds were that good, then so is the film’s. So far it’s definitely my personal pick for Best Picture.

Photos courtesy Summit Entertainment

Movie Review: “Moneyball”

2011-09-23T10:09:00.000-06:00

“Moneyball” scores a home run.

**** ½ out of 5
Rated PG-13 for some strong language.
133 minutes
Columbia Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Moneyball on Blogcritics.

Ah, the sweet fall season has arrived. While most around the country are gearing up for some football, I am privy to another time honored tradition, Oscar season. Ironically, I don’t care a whole lot for sports in general. I have come to accept the game of football as a way of life for the rest of my life having married into Steeler Nation, but I have always had a sweet spot for baseball. While some may claim this to be one of the more boring sports, maybe it has something to do with the fact that it’s the only sport I played when I was a kid. Granted, it was only for one little league season, but there’s no denying this is where that seed had to have been planted.

Growing up I was the brains of three siblings. Academics was where my specialty lied and I did not try to pretend it was on some field. Perhaps this is why a film such as “Moneyball” scores a home run for me. When you have a critically acclaimed filmmaker at the helm, Bennett Miller (“Capote”), backed up by two Oscar-winning screenwriters, Steven Zaillian (“Schindler’s List”) and Aaron Sorkin (“The Social Network”) adapting the Michael Lewis novel, I’d say the decks are stacked in your favor. Having Brad Pitt, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Jonah Hill playing on your team only closes the deal.

It’s pretty easy to skimp on synopsis when everyone has known the story for ten years now. Billy Beane (Pitt) is General Manager to the Oakland A’s and has had his team gutted after losing a big elimination game. Budget restrictions keep Beane from being able to afford to replace the trio of Jason Giambi, Jason Isringhausen, and Johnny Damon. Beane seems to be the only person who realizes that there’s “rich teams, poor teams, fifty feet of crap, and then them,” when it comes to money. Beane enlists the help of Yale Econ wiz kid Peter Brand to build him a winning team – including Scott Hatteberg (Chris Pratt) and David Justice (Stephen Bishop) – with the budget they have based on Bill James’ system of sabermetrics.

Now Beane and Pete are up against the teams own scouts and coach (Art Howe, played by Hoffman) who are up in arms as the team delves into the season with a huge losing streak. Reason being that Art refuses to play their game of statistics. But it doesn’t take long before Beane gets his way, thanks to trading off Art’s starting lineup. Now the A’s are off on their 20-game-winning streak leading them back to another fateful elimination game. On the sidelines we get great moments between Beane and Pete (who gets to learn how to cut players and talk their owner into more money for trades), and Beane with his daughter Casey (the adorably charming Kerris Dorsey).

Director Miller sure makes the 133-minute runtime fly by, in quite the same way that David Fincher pulled off last year with Sorkin’s “Social Network.” He also employs a lot of the same tone which should surely help them come voting time. Same can be said for both Pitt and Hill who have surprisingly amazing chemistry and it’s nice to see Miller keep the tone light and extremely comedic. The film could never be classified as a straight comedy, but you are certainly laughing the whole way through. So over the next few months, while everyone else is sitting around waiting to see if their team makes it to the Super Bowl, I’ll be patiently waiting to see who makes it to a Best Picture nominee. Although “Super 8” still remains my favorite film of the year that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily the “best” film of the year. And while I still have yet to see both “Drive” and “50/50,” I’d say “Moneyball” is a pretty good bet.

Photos courtesy Columbia Pictures

Movie Review: “Dolphin Tale”

2011-09-23T09:57:00.000-06:00

“How to Train Your Dolphin” only results in “Dolphin Fail.”

** out of 5
Rated PG for some mild thematic elements.
113 minutes
Warner Bros. Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Dolphin Tale on Blogcritics.

All throughout the ’80s and possibly into the early ’90s, family films were part of a great onslaught. Most of that could be chalked up to uber-producer Steven Spielberg, naturally. Ranging from “The Goonies” to “An American Tail” to “Free Willy” to “Ferngully,” it seemed like there was another one always right around the corner across two decades. Then something happened along the way. I’m not sure if it’s just that Hollywood has become so void of good ideas (which could be a weekly complaint of any year) or if they’ve just given up, but there’s something truly lacking about family films these days. So it should come as no surprise to hear that the already ludicrous looking “Dolphin Tale” fares no better.

With a resume ranging from R-rated horror and action b-movies (“Trick or Treat,” “Fifty/Fifty”) to the original “Air Bud,” I guess it’s no surprise to get a movie this lackluster from director Charles Martin Smith. Look no further than this still for all you need to know about what could possibly have been running through his mind while sitting in his director’s chair. You could expect a little more from in the screenplay department when it comes from Karen Janszen, someone who actually knows a little something about the genre whose credits consist of “Free Willy 2,” “A Walk to Remember,” “Duma,” and “Gracie.” Honestly, there really isn’t anything too trite in the writing department aside from a few odd character ramblings that make absolutely no sense. I can’t help but wonder if these are left over from Noam Dromi’s first draft. A suspicion reinforced by the use of the word “and” between their names in the writing credits.

“Dolphin Tale” is based on the true tale of a dolphin named Winter who plays herself in the movie. One day the curious dolphin is washed ashore caught in a crab trap. Local boy Sawyer Nelson (Nathan Gamble, one of the worst child actors in recent memory) calls for help after Old Man Weather (Richard Libertini) can’t be bothered by a beached dolphin because he’s too busy being worried about his fishing rod. In comes the Clearwater Marine Hospital rescue squad to save the day after Sawyer cuts the trap off of Winter. Lead by Dr. Clay Haskett (Harry Connick Jr.), Winter is off for some rescuing. After Sawyer skips summer school to check in on Winter, Sawyer meets Clay’s daughter Hazel (Cozi Zuehlsdorff) and the hospital’s pelican guard Rufus (because he lives on the roof, get it?).

Soon enough, Sawyer’s mom, Lorraine (Ashley Judd), gets a call from his summer school teacher (Ray McKinnon) informing her that he has missed an entire week of school. Sure enough, Sawyer takes his mom to the marine hospital and dazzles her with his excitement and love of all things marine. Lorraine talks the teacher into giving him credit for the class based on his involvement with Winter’s rehabilitation. There’s also side stories involving Sawyer’s cousin Kyle (Austin Stowell) being shipped off to serve his country and ultimately, Winter losing her tail due to her increasing infection. Eventually Winter learns to swim by slithering through the water like a snake but then we learn that it could damage her spinal cord and lead to her death. This is when Dr. McCarthy (Morgan Freeman) finally shows up to enliven the proceedings while he dives into Lucious Fox mode to invent a new fin for Winter.

If the pacing doesn’t kill this at the box office, the unintentional laughter just may. The film’s funniest line surprisingly comes from Ashley Judd while she’s talking to Sawyer’s teacher when she says, “This is what every parent and teacher dreams of seeing, a turned on student.” Not something you want to hear out of anyone’s mouth, especially in a feel-good family feature. But of course the film marches onward with hurricanes (referred to by Lorraine as “just a big ol’ storm”), an out of place action sequence involving a runaway R/C helicopter, and life lessons being learned all around. Thankfully I did not have to suffer through this in the third dimension as I cannot see how any second of this film could possibly benefit from it. And had the film actually been more about Winter and focused less on the family factor it would have worked phenomenally better. As it stands however, it’s just another nail in the coffin of family feature films and unfortunately “Dolphin Tale” simply winds up simply as “Dolphin Fail.”

Photos courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures

Movie Review: “Contagion”

2011-09-13T12:49:00.000-06:00

While it's no “Outbreak,” be sure to catch “Contagion.”

**** out of 5
Rated PG-13 for disturbing content and some language.
105 minutes
Warner Bros. Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Contagion (2011) on Blogcritics.

If a movie revolving around a group of doctors from the Centers for Disease Control trying to contain an epidemic sounds familiar, that’s because it is. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Virus movies have been around forever and, in all honesty, I think there’s something scarier about a good old fashioned strain (“Outbreak”) versus say, one that turns people into rage-infected “zombies” (“28 Days Later”). I even did a full report on the nasty Ebolavirus back in high school after reading Richard Preston’s “The Hot Zone.” It was only a matter of time before Hollywood came calling again, and this time Steven Soderbergh is out to set an all time record of Purell sales with his all star cast in “Contagion.”

Spanning across 130 some–odd days, we first find Beth Emhoff (Gwyneth Paltrow) talking on the phone to someone who sounds to be a one night stand while waiting for a flight out of Hong Kong. With a nasty cough on hand she boards her flight and travels home to Minneapolis. Meanwhile, from Kowloon to London and Tokyo to Chicago, various people are all getting sick and eventually dying. Yes, it’s only a matter of days, four actually, for Beth to fall victim as well. Mitch Emhoff (Matt Damon) gets the worst of it as his stepson Clark (Griffin Kane) also falls ill and eventually passes. Mitch seems to be immune. Thankfully, his daughter Jory Emhoff (Anna Jacoby-Heron) was out of town at her mother’s and is now all Mitch has left.

Meanwhile, at the CDC, the deaths and illnesses are brought to the attention of Dr. Ellis Cheever (Laurence Fishburne) who sends Dr. Erin Mears (Kate Winslet) to investigate. Throughout the ordeal there’s also Dr. Leonora Orantes (Marion Cotillard) working for the World Health Organization, sent to Hong Kong to find out where the disease began. Alan Krumwiede (Jude Law) runs a blog who first spread the viral video of a man (Tien You Chui) in Hong Kong dying on a subway car. Working in Biosafety level 4 back at the CDC is Dr. Ally Hextall (Jennifer Ehle) and Dr. David Eisenberg (Demetri Martin). They pass the virus along to Dr. Ian Sussman (Elliot Gould); Ally believes that if he can’t figure out what it is, so they can grow it and develop an antibody, no one can.

What Soderbergh and writer Scott Z. Burns have come up with here will set hypochondriacs running for the hills. When Mears dives into the explanation of R-Naughts (viral reproduction rates) and fomites, one can’t help but feel their skin really start to crawl.

Soderbergh’s cast brings their A-game, of course, but with this ensemble you would expect nothing less. A few minor quibbles are that Cliff Martinez’ score feels slightly out of place. Although most of the time it is what feeds the film’s pacing so for the most part it does its job well. And Cotillard’s storyline adds nothing to the proceedings aside from getting to look at her, and it seems like they didn’t quite know when to end the film or on what note. It’s nice to see a film not reliant upon nausea inducing shaky-cam. Although maybe Soderbergh figured that would be just a little too much considering the plot. In the end, fall has officially arrived and not a moment too soon before winter brings along its never ending cold and flu season. And if “Contagion” has its way, you’ll think twice before you touch that door handle on your way out of the theater.

Photos courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures

Movie Preview: September 2011

2011-08-31T15:21:00.000-06:00

With summer coming to an end, so to are the blockbusters of yesterday.

Article first published as Movie Preview: September 2011 on Blogcritics.

While the summer season may have completely fizzled out as far as box office returns go, there was still plenty of good films thrown our way this August. “Rise of the Planet of the Apes,” “Fright Night,” and “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark” all pushed the boundaries of the remake/reboot trend, while “The Help” proved itself to be the moneymaker DreamWorks was surely hoping for even if Warner Bros. will barely break even on their fifth “Final Destination.” To add insult to injury, here comes another helping of the bottom of the studios’ barrel with their September releases. Not everything looks as bad as you’d expect from the annual “dump month” but it doesn’t look entirely great either. Let’s take a peek.

August 31

Hitting a day early is “The Debt” with some great pedigree behind the scenes and a few in front as well. Director John Madden is not the football hero you’re thinking, but when he sets up a project at least know some thought will be put into it. It doesn’t hurt to bring along a writing team consisting of Matthew Vaughan and Jane Goldman (the duo behind “X-Men: First Class,” “Kick-Ass,” and “Stardust”), and Peter Straughan (“The Men Who Stare at Goats” and the upcoming “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy” adaptation). Hopefully with a cast consisting of Helen Mirren, Tom Wilkinson, Ciarán Hinds, Jessica Chastain, Sam Worthington, and Jesper Christensen, it will make up for having sat through the trailer for what feels like at least a year now. Originally scheduled for release in 2010, maybe Focus Features is praying for some kind of Oscar buzz about their little espionage thriller that hopefully can.

September 2

Having a director (David R. Ellis, “Final Destination 2” and “4,” “Snakes on a Plane,” and “Cellular”) who knows a thing or two about both schlock and 3-D should help “Shark Night 3D.” Getting a PG-13 rating on the other hand either shows that the film was seriously dumbed down and heavily edited or the studio knew this was a good way to get more butts in the seats. Either way, any feature film featuring sharks is okay by me as they are my favorite animal next to my mini-dachshund named Beatrix Kiddo. With Sara Paxton cast possibly because she loves stripping down to her underwear, it makes you wonder what Donal Logue is doing in a 3-D horror movie about genetically-altered fresh water sharks. Hopefully he was cast as a comic relief because the man sure knows how to bring on the funny.

In other news, Dimension Films is finally releasing another film that seems to have been sitting around forever with their found-footage entry, “Apollo 18.” Whether it can wind up escaping the genre clichés and find a niche could happen so long as the film is more “Blair Witch” and less “Paranormal Activity.” With Timur Bekmambetov on board as producer there just may be hope for this after all seeing how it was originally planned for release in April, then moved to January of 2012, and now comes out today instead. None of that is a good sign and it’s not being screened for press so hopes are far from high on this one. No one will be surprised however, if the first thing out of the audiences’ mouth will be along the lines of, “Houston, we have a problem.”

September 9

I freely admit it, I used to watch “Outbreak” way too much as a teenager. The risk seemed far too real and basing it on the thankfully now-elusive Ebola virus just made it even scarier. While this may be the first time Steven Soderbergh’s delved into this type of a film, the man knows how to make a cracker jack suspense film when he wants to. Even the first “Ocean’s Eleven” had this element to the shenanigans keeping everyone glued to the screen on how they’d manage to pull off the big heist in the end. And working with Matt Damon for the fourth time at least he’s got a friend in tow who can seriously carry any film. “The Informant!” anyone? With an original screenplay courtesy Scott Z. Burns (“The Informant!” and “The Bourne Ultimatum”), Burns must have something up his sleeve here to pique the interest of both friends once again.

Tom Hardy has been playing badasses for years now. From his big break in “Bronson” to his big Hollywood premiere in “Inception,” things just keep looking up for him. Before he makes his debut as the “Bane” of Batman’s existence in “The Dark Knight Rises” next summer, we get to bare witness to some good ol’ fashioned pummeling in “Warrior.” Director Gavin O’ Connor may have had a stumbling block with “Pride and Glory,” but his “Miracle” was a pleasant surprise. Now we get to see if O’ Connor can enlighten the sport of mixed martial arts the way he did hockey. I won’t be surprised if by the end of the film I still despise the so-called sport but there’s no denying its legions of fans.

It seems the going cringe rate associated with Happy Madison Productions is far too high lately. They haven’t been able to crank out one honestly good movie since 2006 when “Grandma’s Boy” just couldn’t stop bringing the laughs. While Nick Swardson was featured in that film, not to mention almost all of them along the way, it’s no surprise he finally gets his own chance to star. Even if the trailer just makes you want to run away, run away. Starring as the son of two porn stars, his character “Buck Larson” finds out who his parents really are and feels that he’s “Born to Be a Star” as well. With director Tom Brady at the helm, it’s no surprise this looks dreadful. When you’ve only got “The Hot Chick” and “The Comebacks” on your resume, you leave no hope for audiences. But with an R-rating and co-writers Adam Sandler and Allen Covert behind you, maybe the boys will finally manage to make a filthy hilarious movie we can embrace. Unfortunately for Brady, he’s the odd man out here so expectations are running below sea level.

September 16

A trio of flicks make their way this day and two look better than the third. First up there’s another remake rearing its head. This time its Sam Peckinpah’s “Straw Dogs’” turn. James Marsden and Kate Bosworth replace Dustin Hoffman and Susan George with Alexander Skarsgård stepping in as Del Henney terrorizing a man and wife who’ve relocated themselves from Los Angeles to the South in place of Peckinpah’s not-so-jolly England. With director Rod Lurie making his name in indie film territory there’s hope to be had even if the film looks to take an even more voyeuristic approach than Peckinpah even came close to.

Meanwhile, Sarah Jessica Parker still continues getting roles in a film whose title seems tailor made for ridicule: “I Just Don’t Know How She Does It.” If you were talking about landing lead actress roles, this one looks more like “Bridget Jones” than another Carrie Bradshaw. Maybe director Douglas McGrath can keep this more “Devil Wears Prada” or even “Morning Glory,” than “Laws of Attraction” or “27 Dresses” as it comes from yet another Aline Brosh McKenna screenplay just to keep the boys away and give the girls another reason for a night out.

This day another indie auteur tries his hand at balls-to-the-wall action with Ryan Gosling in the driver’s seat for Nicolas Winding Refn’s “Drive.” Having just won Best Director at the Cannes Film Festival for this humdinger of a looking film, it seems to be looking at winning over the rest of the world upon its release. With a supporting cast consisting of Ron Perlman, Bryan Cranston, Carey Mulligan, and Albert Brooks, this film sound primed and ready for action. While it may not have won the Palme d'Or, that doesn’t mean it’s not ready to steal the money from your wallet.

September 23

Literally something for everyone opens today. First you’ve got what looks to be the best of the bunch, “Moneyball.” Brad Pitt stars as Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane with Jonah Hill as his right hand man Peter Brand. With Oscar-winning scribes Steven Zaillian (“Schindler’s List”) and Aaron Sorkin (“The Social Network”) adapting another Michael Lewis (“The Blind Side”) novel, along with Oscar-nominated director Bennett Miller (“Capote”) at the helm, there’s no doubt this is pure Oscar bait in the works.

To tide over the girls in the audience until he sheds his skin as a werewolf again, Taylor Lautner is on the run to find out why his baby photo is featured on a missing persons website in “Abduction.” The trailer features lots of things blowing up and director John Singleton knows a thing or two about bringing the goods in this department. With a surprising supporting cast featuring everyone from Maria Bello, Alfred Molina, Jason Isaacs, Lily Collins, and Sigourney Weaver, to Michael Nyqvist (!), hopefully writer Shawn Christensen can deliver some big dumb fun with his debut screenplay. It certainly looks more fun than it has any real right to be, but Lautner was actually pretty entertaining on his “Saturday Night Live” hosting stint so here we’ll get to see if he can carry a film with his shirt on.

For the art house crowd comes Gerard Butler looking scruff and gruff as Sam Childers aka “Machine Gun Preacher.” Director Marc Forster has been delivering the goods for a long time now with everything from “Monsters Ball,” “Finding Neverland,” “Stranger Than Fiction,” and “The Kite Runner,” while some have questioned his Hollywood attempts with the atrocious “Stay” and “Quantum of Solace” aka the first true “Bond” sequel ever. But focusing on the true story of a former drug-dealing biker whose found God helping Sudanese children, it looks like Oscar bait is running on high this weekend between this and “Moneyball.”

For the real action fans comes a film just seething with potential, right down to its title: “Killer Elite.” Based on the novel “The Feather Men” by Ranulph Fiennes we get Jason Statham and Robert De Niro pitted against bad guy Clive Owen with a film whose tagline reads “May the Best Man Live.” If that doesn’t scream high octane action with that cast I don’t know what does! And finally, we get another 3-D family film from the manipulative producers of “The Blind Side” hoping to wring you of tears on top of your hard-earned cash with “Dolphin Tale.” Casting Morgan Freeman as the lead do-gooder alongside Ashley Judd, Harry Connick Jr., and a dolphin just seems like it was made with no intention aside from being melodramatic. Co-writer Karen Janszen only furthers my belief with credits ranging from “Free Willy 2” to “A Walk to Remember” to “Gracie.” Even director Charles Martin Smith reins from the original “Air Bud” so don’t be surprised if Warner Bros. spins this true tale into all sorts of goofy direct-to-video sequels.

September 30

Finally things slow down a bit for the end of the month but it’s not too soon for what the local press crowds are already declaring could be the best film of the year. “50/50” is the true story of one man’s battle and eventual win over cancer. Writer Will Reiser steeps the screenplay with what it’s really like to deal with his prognosis without all the violin cues and maudlin clichés. Casting Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth Rogen can only help matters even more. Both are hugely popular right now and while one seems to insist on only bringing the funny, anyone who’s seen Rogen in any Apatow production knows he can be genuinely sweet and emotional even while tickling your funny bone. With Anna Kendrick, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Anjelica Houston playing back up, I have no doubt this film will be every bit as good as the hype.

Haunted house movies have always been a Hollywood staple and they’ll never go away. Sometimes you just wish that a trailer doesn’t give everything away as it seems to have happened with “Dream House.” Universal Pictures better have some mighty surprises up their sleeves after having born witness to those two and a half minutes. But I suppose that really should be left up to writer David Loucka and director Jim Sheridan. I think how things turn out here will rely more heavily on Sheridan’s directing chops (“Get Rich or Die Tryin’,” “In the Name of the Father,” “My Left Foot”) than Loucka’s writing pedigree (“The Dream Team,” “Eddie”). But with a cast consisting of real-life newlyweds Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz, along with the always reliable Naomi Watts, I’d say things are looking more up for this house than the trailer gives away.

And last but certainly not least comes what could be one of the month’s better surprises. While on the surface it sounds like every other romantic comedy ever made, and the premise certainly doesn’t help, “What’s Your Number?” has an even more misleading title to boot. The source novel’s title “20 Times a Lady” would probably just be even more confusing for mass audiences so why not find yet another way to dumb down the advertising, right? Anna Faris stars as a woman looking to find Mr. Right by playing a case of “High Fidelity” to find out what went wrong in the past to help her future. Meanwhile, her slutty neighbor (Chris Evans) offers to help her connect with her exes but we all know what that will probably mean by the time the credits roll.

With supporting players ranging from Andy Samberg, Zachary Quinto, Joel McHale, Martin Freeman, Aziz Ansari, Anthony Mackie, and Thomas Lennon to real life hubby Chris Pratt, the comedy should flow freely so long as there’s plenty of ad-libbing afoot and Mark Mylod’s direction doesn’t get in the way. When your screenwriters are Gabrielle Allan (“Scrubs”) and Jennifer Crittenden (“The Simpsons,” “Seinfeld,” “Everybody Loves Raymond,” “The New Adventures of Old Christine”) are writing the jokes, ladies who obviously know funny, this should add up to more than it looks on paper.

Yes, September certainly lives up to the term “dump month” as there’s at least 18 films slated over five weekends and one Wednesday. But that doesn’t mean the month will be a total bust. There’s a few goodies sprinkled throughout even though we still have to slog through another October before we can finally start getting to the good stuff in November when Oscar starts calling everyone’s name.

Photos courtesy Focus Features, Relativity Media, Lionsgate, Screen Gems, Columbia Pictures, Open Road Films, Summit Entertainment, and Twentieth Century Fox

Movie Review: “Colombiana”

2011-08-30T13:36:00.000-06:00

Not even a glass-covered shark-filled swimming pool could enlighten another throw-away end of summer action flick.

** out of 5
Rated PG-13 for violence, disturbing images, intense sequences of action, sexuality and brief strong language
107 minutes
TriStar Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Colombiana on Blogcritics.

When it comes to big, dumb action movies, there may not be a man whose name is as attached to the genre as Luc Besson. Having been a big fan since seeing “The Fifth Element” at a local dollar theater, he’s been adding the word fun to the proceedings as well; at least for the most part. Sometimes when he’s not in the director’s chair, his screenplays (co-writing with long standing buddy Robert Mark Kamen) can be led astray (“From Paris with Love,” and the worst offender: our own remake of his original “Taxi”). Now we have another preposterous laughathon to add to his oeuvre with “Colombiana” which seems to be a melting pot of his IMDB resume.

Beginning in 1992, there’s a meeting of the minds happening between Fabio (Jesse Borrego) and Marco (Jordi Mollà). Of course things turn south, and Marco orders Fabio to be killed but not before he makes it home to his wife Alicia (Cynthia Addai-Robinson) and eight-year-old daughter Cataleya (Amandla Stenberg). Fabio and Alicia are killed offscreen while Cataleya sits at the kitchen table looking comatose. Marco approaches her, asking for something her father gave her that belongs to Don Luis (Beto Benites). Instead of playing nice, Cataleya stabs Marco in the hand, announces she will see Don Luis to his death, and leads Marco’s cronies on a parkour-infused street chase where she runs to the U.S. Embassy and offers up her father’s information in exchange for a passport to the States.

After landing in Chicago, Cataleya hops a bus to Chicago to find her uncle Emilio (Cliff Curtis), demanding that he teach her how to be a “Professional,” err… killer, like himself. Emilio forces her to go to school in exchange for future services. Cutting to 15 years later (played in adult form by Zoe Saldana) Cataleya is on the prowl taking out anyone connected to Don Luis leaving drawings of orchids on their chest, along with a few bullet holes. Marco is trying to find out who’s behind the murders along with Special Agent Ross (Lennie James). Ross thinks he is looking for a man (at one point ignorantly saying there’s no way a woman could be behind 22 murders), but Marco knows that Cataleya has come for revenge upon Don Luis and hopes that his extradition in New Orleans is a safe enough hiding spot.

There’s also bits sprinkled about involving Cataleya and her (maybe more than a) friend with benefits Danny (Michael Vartan), but these are obviously padding, leading up to a beyond-ludicrous turn of events in the third act. Director Olivier Megaton may have been able to squeeze a few more drops of fun from the third “Transporter” film, but what he brings here are mostly moments of hilarious unintentional humor and action played with ranging styles. Everything gets thrown in the kitchen sink here, from the Ridley Scott/MTV quick-cut to a fight scene which seems to have been filmed with a strobe light.

Typically I adore these types of films, but lately the good ones are becoming further and fewer between. Even Michael Bay has been trying way too hard lately causing what used to be a genre in and of itself, big dumb fun, is getting increasingly just bigger and even more unfortunately, dumber. If someone could please remember to bring the fun back (and more than just having Saldana dance around in her short shorts and sucking on a lollipop) maybe “Colombiana” could have aspired to be a call back to the action movies of yore. As it stands, it’s sadly just another sign of the fizzling summer movie season.

Photos courtesy TriStar Pictures

Movie Review: “Fright Night”

2011-08-18T12:58:00.000-06:00

A rarity for sure, but “Fright Night” proves a remake can still be done right.

***** out of 5
Rated R for bloody horror violence and language including some sexual references.
106 minutes
DreamWorks SKG

Article first published as Movie Review: Fright Night (2011) on Blogcritics.

In the land of Hollywood, remakes/reboots/reimaginings, what have you, reign supreme. When it comes to horror films, that number is ever higher. Sometimes it feels like every month there’s at least one sequel or remake coming down the chute lately. If you’ve seen this year’s earlier entry, “Scream 4,” Hayden Panettiere’s character loves her horror movies and when asked to name a particular remake in a conversation with Ghostface, names off at least 20 entries. While the greats are few and far between, there’s just no stopping horror fans from coming back for more. Just last week we even got a series’ return to form with “Final Destination 5.” So it is without further ado that yet another cult classic is reborn, to far greater aplomb, with Tom Holland’s “Fright Night.”

If you’ve seen the original, or watched the trailers, you know what you’re in for and that’s not a bad thing. For once, a director (Craig Gillespie, “Lars and the Real Girl”) takes a playfully updated screenplay, courtesy of genre vet Marti Noxon (TV’s “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and its spinoff “Angel”), and takes the vampire films as of late and proves that there’s still life in the undead blood suckers yet. They also prove that you can have fun with the genre while still staying true to original source material. But when your original is already as much fun as 1985’s “Fright Night” still is, I’m not surprised that they managed to not screw things up. However, they have also drastically changed the location but given a few new twists to liven things up along the way.

Hitting the ground running, a quiet night in a Las Vegas suburb is interrupted with a vampire attacking and killing teenage Adam (Will Denton) and his parents. Turns out, Adam was friends with best friends Charley Brewster (Anton Yelchin) and “Evil” Ed Thompson (Christopher Mintz-Plasse). Ed and Charley are having bromance issues of their own thanks to Charley managing to snag the girl of his dreams, Amy (Imogen Poots). Charley thinks because he has decided to “grow up” and get a girlfriend that he’s too good for hanging out with Ed and sticks him on the back burner. Even if he still can’t help but lust for his neighbor across the street Doris (Emily Montague). Next door we find new neighbor Jerry Dandrige (Colin Farrell) has just moved in but just can’t seem to finish his interior decorating and Charley’s mom Jane (Toni Collette) wishes Jerry would at least get rid of his eyesore of a dumpster camped out on his front lawn.

It doesn’t take long before Ed is trying to convince Charley that Jerry is a vampire since he’s been spying on him because kids from school keep going missing. Things go awry when Ed goes looking for Adam and after he goes missing Charley finally perks up to what’s going down in his neck of the woods. He tries to enlist the Criss Angel-esque Peter Vincent (David Tennant) who has an illusions showcase called “Fright Night” and has a vast assortment of vampire and supernatural related antiques he buys off EBay. Peter wants nothing less than to help poor Charley with his vampire problem and it turns out that there’s more to his occult fascination than meets the eye. Again, the plot here is nothing too new. Charley sets out to take down Jerry himself and Peter finally steps up to help poor Charley put an end to Jerry’s neighborhood reign once and for all.

While 3D at the movies will always and forever be nothing more than a gimmick and a reason for boosting ticket sales, sometimes it can pay off. In this case it’s still totally unnecessary but adds some sense to the fun thanks to director Gillespie’s independent filmmaking background and sensibilities. There are some amazingly staged action/suspense sequences spread throughout including but far from limited to a high speed pursuit and a simple escape from inside Jerry’s house. Both of those scenes also end with some of the most hilarious punchlines in quite some time. And let’s just say that ash and embers may wind up being a new prerequisite when it comes to 3D effects in horror films. Along with snow fall it just may be the ace in the hole for truly effective 3D gimmickry.

Holland’s original “Fright Night” is far from being raked over the coals here and should reintroduce the current generation of vampire film fans to what they really are. Blood thirsty, charming and usually deadpan hilarious, Farrell brings out a great display of surprisingly subtle scenery chewing. He is nothing but perfect for the role of Jerry and it was nice to see that Gillespie and Noxon seem to acknowledge how long ago the original came out by never trying to keep the vampire surprise in the bag. A surprise cameo offers up a passing of the torch in a perfect sense for once and some of the hilarious lines including, “You’re so cool, Brewster,” is given new context without losing its laugh. And as far as my wife is concerned, there’s nothing funnier than a scrambling vampire after he’s been staked in the chest with a real estate sign. I say, when a horror/comedy can manage to make her snort with laughter when she’s never been a fan of the genre to begin with, I’d say job well done indeed. It really is just that much fun.

Photos courtesy DreamWorks SKG

Movie Review: “30 Minutes or Less”

2011-08-12T10:07:00.000-06:00

Huge laughs every 30 seconds or less.

**** out of 5
Rated R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language, nudity and some violence.
83 minutes
Columbia Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: 30 Minutes or Less on Blogcritics.

It’s gotta be one hell of a time following up a debut that comes with such high acclaim. Just to name a couple, Quentin Tarantino managed to pull it off with “Pulp Fiction” and Edgar Wright managed to do it with “Hot Fuzz.” Now we can add Ruben Fleischer to the list. Although, while it’s far from what some may have been hoping would turn out to be “Zombieland 2,” so to speak, “30 Minutes or Less” has more than its own brand of hijinks up its sleeve.

Being a first time screenwriter is also something Michael Diliberti has in common with the likes of Tarantino and Fleischer. Loosely basing the story (co-credited to Matthew Sullivan) on an Erie, PA bank robbery where that unfortunate pizza delivery guy met his explosive end, Diliberti has come up with one of the most hilarious screenplays in years. How much of the script remains onscreen is quite a question however as all of the key cast members are known all too well for their improv skills while the camera rolls. But between Diliberti and Fleischer’s directing skills, along with the cast, they’ve all managed to bring the funniest film this year has seen next to “Bridesmaids.”

Nick (Jesse Eisenberg) works for Vito’s Pizza in Grand Rapids, Michigan as a delivery boy living every day like it’s “30 Minutes or Less.” He hates his job and seems to have a love/hate relationship with his best friend Chet (Aziz Ansari). Nick also happens to be in love with Chet’s twin sister Kate (Dilshad Vadsaria) who has just informed him that not only has a classmate recently come out of the closet, but she’s moving to Atlanta for work. Meanwhile, our bumbling antagonists, Dwayne (Danny McBride) and Travis (Nick Swardson), are living the life of privileged man-children thanks to Dwayne’s father, The Major (Fred Ward), after he won $10 million playing the lottery.

Dwayne complains about how much he hates The Major and brags about being the heir to at least $1 million to a local stripper named Juicy (Bianca Kajlich). Juicy instantly sees her own opportunity in Dwayne and tells him she knows someone, Chango (Michael Peña), who can take care of his father for just $100,000. Dwayne jumps at the idea instantly as the money from his inheritance would be just what he needs to start a tanning salon as a front for a prostitution ring. Talk about delusions of grandeur. Now Dwayne and Travis hatch a scheme and strap a bomb to Nick’s chest during a routine delivery, giving him ten hours to come up with the cash. Nick enlists Chet to help him rob a bank where hilarity, double crossing, “rape kits,” and laser pens soon collide.

To give any more away would be criminal as the verbal sparring, visual gags and hilarious choices in musical cues fly fast and furious. Just as Fleischer did with “Zombieland,” he knows that the key to a successful comedy is to hit the ground running. And at a scant 83 minutes you couldn’t ask for a tighter run time. Most surprisingly too, the characters here are more fleshed out than most two hour dramas and Eisenberg shows us once again that he’s not just a one-note actor. And those with a keen sense for movie references will just find even more to love about “30 Minutes or Less,” one of the year’s funnier films.

Photos courtesy Columbia Pictures

Movie Review: “Evil Things”

2011-08-12T09:54:00.000-06:00

There's a reason this skipped theaters and is heading straight-to-DVD today.

** out of 5
Not Rated
86 minutes
Inception Media Group

Article first published as Movie Review: Evil Things on Blogcritics.

The found-footage genre has been greatly overused as of recently. While it’s been used since as early as 1980s “Cannibal Holocaust,” it’s currently in a state of overabundance. Surely we can thank “The Blair Witch Project” for this. But where that film succeeded so greatly was in telling a simple story of a group of filmmakers stranded in the woods tormented by what may or may not be a benevolent spooky specter. While there’s been some great use of it along the way to now (okay, only “[REC],” “Cloverfield,” and “Blair Witch”) it hasn’t taken long to run it into the ground. Which seems to be the only thing the new “Evil Things” seems hell-bent on achieving.

Five friends are venturing out to a house in the middle of nowhere for Miriam’s (Elyssa Mersdorf) 21st birthday. Leo (Ryan Maslyn) has just bought himself a brand new camera and refuses to turn it off much to everyone’s chagrin. Along for the weekend are Cassy (Laurel Casillo), the pretentious one; Mark (Morgan Hooper), the aggressive one; and Tanya (Torrey Weiss), the hot one. Traveling the icy roads to Miriam’s aunt Gail’s (Gail Cadden) house, Tanya quickly gets sick while they all start getting harassed by someone in a van that probably uses the handle “Rusty Nail.” Being stalked by someone in a van is one thing but it’s another when you get to your destination and the power hasn’t been turned on. Aunt Gail shows up to give the kids a fake scare and then everyone has a wonderful evening of booze and pasta.

The following morning everyone is forced to head out to the wintry wonderland and it’s not too long before they lose their bearings and start blaming each other in a rather familiar fashion. Eventually they find their way back but not before they all start hearing noises in the woods and start screaming at each other and running for their lives against unseen forces lurking just beyond the camera light. Back at home they start receiving anonymous phone calls right before “The Ring’s” Samara leaves a wrapped video tape on the door step featuring footage making everyone stand in front of big open windows with the lights on. Now they’re under house attack by someone who thinks he’s the second coming of “The Silence of the Lambs’” “Buffalo Bill” lurking around the house with his own video camera using night vision.

When the viewer’s main focus while watching your film becomes making a checklist of all the films being ripped off you have much bigger problems; even more so than the inappropriate “spooky” music playing over the footage. A note to writer/director/editor Dominic Perez, when you feel the need to add eerie music over the proceedings something isn’t working. You can cut a lot of slack when it comes to low budget films and first time filmmakers that wear their inspirations on their sleeves. But it’s another thing altogether when every scene feels like it’s been copied and pasted from far better films over the years. Let alone when one of them has won Best Picture.

Referencing films is another route you can always go, something Eli Roth, Kevin Williamson, and more recently Rubin Fleischer have been mining to great acclaim. For every section of the film that happens to work it drags itself out to a breaking point which shows that Perez was in desperate need of someone else in the editing booth. We know that everyone wants to have their 15 minutes of fame. In all honesty, had the film been cut down to that length, maybe Perez could have achieved his own. However, as it stands, “Evil Things” only plays out like a been-there/done-that greatest hits collection without one ounce of originality or even any flare of its own.

Photos courtesy Inception Media Group

Movie Review: “The Change-Up”

2011-08-05T07:08:00.000-06:00

There's laughs to be had, but at what cost? Lowbrow heads for new lows.

*** out of 5
Rated R for pervasive strong crude sexual content and language, some graphic nudity and drug use.
112 minutes
Universal Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: The Change-Up on Blogcritics.

It’s been a pretty decent year for Jason Bateman. A very good year, considering the man has been continually in the acting game since 1981 for crying out loud. After having finally found success with the cancelled but brilliant “Arrested Development,” he’s essentially steered clear of TV. And after having not being in any films since 2009, it’s evident now that the man has stayed busy. This weekend now sees the release of his fourth film this year, “The Change-Up,” after having also headlined or was featured in “Paul,” “Horrible Bosses,” and “The Switch.”

Since the release of director David Dobkin’s first film (“Clay Pigeons”) his resume has been far more hit than miss. While he may have last issued us the atrocious “Fred Claus,” he also managed to squeeze in two very successful Hollywood films you may have heard of, “Shanghai Knights” and a little something called “Wedding Crashers.” “Knights” was a great sequel and one of Jackie Chan’s last fun American productions and we all know that “Crashers” is one of the biggest R-rated comedies of all time. Lightning could strike twice here for more than just Dobkin as “The Change-Up” happens to come from the sick and twisted minds of Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, the duo behind the first “Hangover.”

In “The Change-Up” we meet best friends Mitch Planko (Ryan Reynolds) and Dave Lockwood (Bateman). They’ve been friends since they were 3-years-old(?). Dave has worked his ass off to get through college, marry the love of his life Jamie (Leslie Mann), and has a big house full of kids including a new set of fraternal twins and Cara (Sydney Rouviere). Meanwhile, Mitch flunked out of college to pursue an acting career which means he just wants to work one week a year spending the rest of his time getting high and scoring lots of women.

Dave’s life is of course very busy between work and home but manages to squeeze in one night to hit the bar with Mitch to watch a Marlins/Braves game. After Mitch drunkenly brags about all of his one night stands and various flings, Dave admits to how jealous he is and wishes he could so much as take a peaceful dump or simply learn how to rollerblade. After taking a piss in a fountain and simultaneously wishing for each others lives, a rolling black out occurs and the next morning they wake to find each other having swapped bodies. Wackiness ensues featuring all the requisite misadventures even if they try to explain the situation to Jamie who thinks the two are just up to a new level of dork-shenanigans.

Yup, it’s “Freaky Friday” for the frat-house crowds. From the opening scene featuring projectile diarrhea, pregnant flings, a starring role in a “lorno,” possibly getting to bang your hot co-worker, to a wife who needs to take it easy on the Thai food, for a good hour the film manages to raise the gross-out stakes. There’s also a kitchen scene that makes me wonder whether it’s the writers or the director who are huge fans of “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” Before they switch bodies, Reynolds is aping his “Van Wilder” role but then gets to play worried husband while Bateman gets to revel in playing the asshole after the switch, something he’s not typically known for but appears surprisingly good at.

Lessons are learned and montages show Dave and Mitch teaching each other how to be each other and when the film gets to the character side of the film things tend to slow down a bit. Leslie Mann gets to shine in what feels like a filler piece to get her back in tune for the now filming tentatively titled Judd Apatow “Knocked Up” spin-off, “This Is 40.” And the supporting cast seems to be having fun too, even if it mostly consists of Olivia Wilde playing Dave’s hot co-worker who happens to love baseball, tattoos, and also, of course, has a heart of gold.

Dobkin is still in need of figuring out how to successfully blend his raunch and schmaltz. It was the one thing that didn’t quite work in “Wedding Crashers” and it rears its head again here. Thankfully the entire cast is so likeable that it winds up working far better than it should even if you’ve seen the film so many times before. Some of my favorites of the genre include “Vice Versa,” “Like Father Like Son,” “Face/Off,” and yes, even the Lindsay Lohan/Jamie Lee Curtis “Freaky Friday.”

So if you’re looking for some huge guilty laughs look no further. The jokes fly fast and furious even if some of them you may not feel good about laughing at in the morning. And while I may have given “Friends with Benefits” more credit than it really deserves, here we find the summer’s comedies still on track, even if sometimes “The Change-Up” aims too low.

Photos courtesy Universal Pictures

Movie Review: “Rise of the Planet of the Apes”

2011-08-04T15:25:00.000-06:00

One of the summer's best movies has arrived, "Hail Caesar!"

**** ½ out of 5
Rated PG-13 for violence, terror, some sexuality and brief strong language.
105 minutes
Twentieth Century Fox

Article first published as Movie Review: Rise of the Planet of the Apes on Blogcritics.

When something has been around for 48 years and there has already been the original novel that started it all, six films, and two TV series, you can’t help but wonder how anyone could come up with something fresh. Meanwhile, reboot is the automatic fixer-upper in Hollywood and right now it’s all rage. So it’s no surprise that yet another franchise gets a do-over this weekend as we bear witness to the “Rise of the Planet of the Apes.”

Getting your foot in Hollywood’s door probably takes a huge case of luck. I would imagine even more so when your only feature film to date is a little Irish prison break flick (“The Escapist”). For director Rupert Wyatt, maybe it helps to have some friends in the system. Brian Cox reteams with Wyatt now along with the already strong cast of James Franco, Freida Pinto, and John Lithgow. By adding Andy Serkis providing the motion-capture as “Caesar” the ape himself, you’ve got quite the cast.

In “Rise,” we are introduced to Will Rodman (Franco). Working at GenSys, he’s finally found the cure to Alzheimer’s called ALZ-112. During a presentation to some investors however, Chimp #9, nicknamed “Bright Eyes” (Terry Notary), goes on a simultaneous rampage nearly destroying the facility in the process before she’s shot down by a security officer. Turns out that “Bright Eyes” wasn’t being aggressive, she was being protective. See, she was pregnant and had given secret birth to a male baby in her lab cell.

Now Will is taken to task by his lab partner Robert Franklin (Tyler Labine) to put the baby down after he’s already been forced to put down the first twelve. So naturally, Will takes the baby home where his own father, Charles (Lithgow), names him Caesar and over a period of eight years Will realizes that “Bright Eyes” has passed down the ALZ-112 and the baby ape grows up to be a sign language using super-intelligent simian.

Will’s boss Steven Jacobs (David Oyelowo) orders to proceed with testing after Will informs him that he’s tested ALZ on his own father and it works. But sure enough, Charles’s body forms antibodies against the injections and his disease returns with a vengeance. Meanwhile, Caesar has attacked Will’s neighbor (David Hewlett) and Will is forced to take Caesar to a primate facility. Here Caesar is treated like a prison inmate complete with a warden (Cox) of sorts and two guards; one evil in the form of Dodge Landon (Tom Felton), one good, Rodney (Jamie Harris).

It’s not too long before Caesar befriends a circus orangutan named Maurice (Karin Konoval) who also knows sign and eventually takes over as primate of his own domain after releasing a mini-Kong gorilla named Buck (Richard Ridings) and shows Rocket (Terry Notary) who’s boss. Back at the lab, Koba (Christopher Gordon) has shown just how far ALZ has come along while Franklin has been exposed to it in gaseous form. And just as we’re waiting for, the time finally comes for the excrement to hit the fan as Caesar escapes the facility and brings back the ALZ with him to the facility where the apes begin their revolt for freedom.

Thankfully, screenwriters Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver seem to have strong affection for the series even if their last writing efforts were 14 years ago (“The Relic”). But by keeping the plot more simplified than it may sound, it makes everything move along more smoothly. And if you have any worry about Rupert Wyatt in his first big budget directing gig, I couldn’t think of anyone better suited. Here’s a director who clearly knows how to keep things epic. Wyatt sure knows how to film an action sequence. Using Peter Jackson’s favored director of photography helps as well. You always know what’s going on, and thankfully Twentieth Century Fox stayed true to the 2D format and didn’t convert this nor their other summer franchise reboot (“X-Men: First Class”). Yes, we finally get to see the first man vs. ape battle in all its glory and it’s just as epic as you’d hope from watching the trailers.

Having never read the original Pierre Boulle novel, nor seen any of the other six films made me have to make sure it was a true reboot. It clearly serves as a prequel to the Tim Burton film but seems to me like the revolution of starting from scratch which just makes me very excited to see what kind of sequels to this new film they can come up with. Peppered with plenty of “Easter eggs” makes the proceedings even more fun for the series’ long time fans while setting us up for things to come in future films. And no review would be complete without huge congratulations to Weta Digital for bringing all of the apes to life. Now hopefully “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” does as well at the box office as it deserves to so that we can be treated to even more from a series that may be 48 years old but seems to be just getting warmed up.

Photos courtesy Twentieth Century Fox

Movie Preview: August 2011

2011-08-04T13:48:00.000-06:00

Summer holds out for one more month of genre goodness.

Article first published as Movie Preview: August 2011 on Blogcritics.

With summer finally starting to wind down, it’s always around August we have to prep ourselves for the oncoming genre films. It’s now all just a matter of biding our time waiting for the year’s Oscar bait to finally pounce. From comedies to horror to action, there’s always something for everyone before some head back to school while the rest of us just get through the work week. Let’s take a gander and see what the end of summer has cookin’.

August 5th

After six films and a TV series, not even Tim Burton and Marky Mark could properly reboot the “Planet of the Apes” franchise. Now Twentieth Century Fox is at it again with a little help from Peter Jackson’s Weta Digital which is hilariously trumpeted in the first teaser trailer for “Rise of the Planet of the Apes.” Now we get to see how a more modern take on Pierre Boulle can take on the rest of the series, now with James Franco, John Lithgow, Brian Cox, and Freida Pinto, and Andy Serkis as the new “Caesar” leading the way. With only a prison break film under his belt and working again with Cox, we’ll just have to see if director Rupert Wyatt can lead these apes to a new box office revolution. All signs point to greatness so far and clocking in at well under two hours is an instant plus. Here’s hoping Wyatt and the writer’s of one of my favorite guilty pleasures (“The Relic”) can provide us the summer of “Hail!”

On the lighter side of things, David Dobkin is back to his R-rated stomping grounds with “The Change-Up” to prove that “Wedding Crashers” was no fluke and that hopefully “Fred Claus” was. Along with the writers of the original “Hangover” (Jon Lucas, Scott Moore) we can only hope that they’ve still got some funny in them. From the previews, this has to be better than “The Hangover Part Douche” because that was essentially a hugely unfunny remake of their original success. Maybe they figured they were too good for the sequel and wanted to focus on more original things, even if it’s just a body swap feature. But with Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds in the leads we should be able to expect some hilarity to ensue even if it may be off the written path.

August 10th

Opening all on its lonesome mid-week comes writer/director Tate Taylor’s adaptation of author Kathryn Stockett’s “The Help.” Another popular book found on coffee tables across the country gives us our third helping of Emma Stone goodness in less than a month. The movie gods are surely smiling upon us right now. I suppose this is all just to tide us over until she’s gets to be “Spidey’s” girlfriend next summer but in the meantime she’s still got her (mostly) red hair on as future writer “Skeeter” Phelan. Skeeter decides she wants to start interviewing the local titular help and turn a Mississippi town upside down in the process.

August 12th

Speaking of out to prove their last film was no fluke is Ruben Fleisher. Working with a script from first time scribe Michael Diliberti means he isn’t straying too far from “Zombieland” territory as that too was an original sophomore screenplay. Packed to the gills with a hilarious cast including Jesse Eisenberg, Aziz Ansari, Danny McBride, and Nick Swardson in the leads and a plot involving chest bombs, bank robbery, and hillbillies in gorilla masks, this should be the summer’s funniest out-right comedy since “Bridesmaids”.

Meanwhile, Warner Bros. marketing has gone and added a “5” to the title of their latest “Final Destination” installment as it’s clearly obvious “The” wasn’t quite final. People love these movies, even if in an over-the-top sometimes so bad their fantastic sense. And let’s face it, the more gruesome they are the harder we fans cheer. The fourth installment was the goriest one yet and with it having been converted to 3-D became the highest grossing installment yet. Now they’ve hired “Avatar’s” second unit director (Steven Quale) to actually film this one in the third dimension to hopefully make this the craziest entry. With “Champ” Kind himself (David Koechner) along for the dismemberments hopefully writer Eric Heisserer (last year’s “A Nightmare on Elm Street” remake and October’s “The Thing”) can show us why laser eye surgery can be bad for your health. If the new kill or be killed angle gives us something new, then “Final Destination 5” just may leave us screaming “whammy!” by the end credits.

Also, the summer just wouldn’t seem complete without at least one 3-D concert event at the local theaters now would it? Thankfully this time it’s not the Jonas Brothers, Justin Beiber or Hannah Montana. The kids of McKinley High School are up on the big screen for “Glee: The 3D Concert Movie.” Filmed live and in 3-D, everyone is accounted for bringing all of our favorite TV showstoppers in your face. While I’m sure Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) is rolling over in her coffin, so to speak, the film only plays for two weeks to ensure that every fan will be running out for a ticket to bide their time until season three finally premieres in September.

August 19th

A slew of films invade theaters to vie for our attention as no less than four open this day. To sum it up a little quickly; Robert Rodriguez is back to his worst tendencies (aka family films) by unleashing a fourth “Spy Kids” upon us, subtitled: “All the Time in the World 4D.” This time starring a new family of spies including Jessica Alba and Joel McHale in the parental roles with Mason Cook and Rowan Blanchard as the new “Kids.” Of course all of Rodriguez’ friends are back, ranging from original “Kids” Daryl Sabara and Alexa Vega, along with Antonio Banderas, and Danny Trejo, to series newcomers Ricky Gervais (voicing the family dog) and Jeremy Piven as the lead bad guy. Meanwhile, the director of the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “Friday the 13th” remakes continues his own trend this time updating the silly looking and gory seeming “Conan the Barbarian.” We’ll just have to see how the first of the two Arnold Schwarzenegger remakes fares here. Hopefully this one leans more towards Nispel’s “Friday” than “Chainsaw" as it was far more fun.

Speaking of Schwarzenegger remakes and remakes in general, Colin Farrell stars as everyone’s favorite sexy maybe-vampire neighbor Jerry Dandrige in the “Fright Night” do-over courtesy of director Craig Gillespie (“Lars and the Real Girl”) before Farrell gives the mentioned second Schwarzenegger remake next year with “Total Recall.” Genre vet Marti Noxon is taking Tom Holland’s original to task and moving the setting to Vegas. Thankfully all the original characters are back as it just wouldn’t be “Fright Night” without Peter Vincent, Charley and Jane Brewster, “Evil” Ed Thompson, and Amy Peterson, now all being played by David Tennant, Anton Yelchin and Toni Collette, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, and Imogen Poots. The international cast gives me high hopes, but even more so is the sustained R-rating. My fingers and stakes are crossed that this stays true to the original as it’s one of the best horror/comedies most people haven’t seen.

Finally, the 19th brings us something for date night with “One Day.” Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess star as a couple of college grads who sleep together on the night of their graduation before the film shows us where each of their characters are on the same day of each year prior. Director Lone Scherfig knows a thing or two about love and heartache as shown in her last film “An Education.” Author David Nicholls adapts his own novel for the big screen and we’ll just have to wait to see if the apparently star-crossed lovers find happiness, or even each other, by the end of the film.

August 26th

Another busy day of genre leads the way here with a comedy, action, and horror. Having already seen the now titled “Our Idiot Brother” during this year’s Sundance Film Festival, you can read that full review now. However, it was one of the funniest films of the year by that point and still stands its ground. Meanwhile, Guillermo del Toro (one of my favorite director’s) takes a writing credit and a seat in the producer’s chair for director Troy Nixey’s “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark” update. With the year’s spookiest “trailer”trailer, here’s hoping Mrs. Scientology (Katie Holmes) can hold her own against Del Toro and co-writer Matthew Robbins’ things that go bump in the night alongside Guy Pearce.

The last time director Olivier Megaton collaborated with uber-producer/writer Luc Besson and co-writer Robert Mark Kamen we got the third “Transporter” film. Now they are bringing us “Columbiana;” which just may be what we’ve been needing to whet our appetite until Quentin Tarantino finally gets around to making “Kill Bill Vol. 3.” Zoe Saldana is the new “it” girl for action and after her turns in “Avatar,” “Star Trek,” and “The Losers,” she should be more than primed and ready. Hopefully Megaton, Besson, and Kamen remember that fun is the key word when it comes to these hyper-stylized exercises in excessive violence. Saldana plays the O-Ren character that witnesses the murder of her parents and grows up to be an assassin, naturally. While I was one of the few still entertained by “Transporter 3,” at least they’re trying something different while that franchise seems headed for a new TV show last I heard.

So that about rounds out the summer fun before September brings up whatever the studios have decided to dump upon us. At least this summer seems to be aiming to go out with a bang but there is still a lot of fun headed our way this fall movie season. Until then, I’ll be sure to keep you up to date on which of all these is worth your hard earned cash and most importantly, your time.

Photos courtesy DreamWorks, DreamWorks SKG, FilmDistrict, Lionsgate, Touchstone Pictures, TriStar Pictures, Twentieth Century Fox, Warner Bros. Pictures

Movie Review: “Cowboys & Aliens”

2011-07-29T08:00:00.000-06:00

Not perfect but still tons o' fun. Giddy up pardners.

**** out of 5
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of western and sci-fi action and violence, some partial nudity and a brief crude reference.
118 minutes
Universal Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Cowboys & Aliens on Blogcritics.

All film genres generally boil down to a matter of personal taste. Most general filmgoers probably don’t prefer westerns for their simmering runtimes while others still like to see some dirt getting kicked up on the big screen. Sci-fi is certainly picking up some slack as of lately and is becoming more mainstream every year. While both have been around as far back as movies have been made, they usually don’t cross their streams. I generally prefer the western to sci-fi if only because they tend to be more fun and don’t take themselves as seriously as most sci-fi tend to, but alas it was bound to happen that eventually the two would marry for a summer blockbuster as it now has with Jon Favreau’s “Cowboys & Aliens.”

To make a list of the heavy hitters involved is quite impressive. In the producer's chairs you’ve got Favreau himself, along with Brian Grazer, Ron Howard, and Steven Spielberg. In the writer category you’ve also got three of the credited screenwriters in Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, and Damon Lindelof (all three also producing), best known as a trio of J.J. Abrams’ personal cronies. Then when you consider it stars James Bond (Daniel Craig) and Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford), you can’t help but take a deep breath to prepare yourself for what you’re about to partake of.

However, the two additional writers (Mark Fergus, Hawk Ostby) have worked with Favreau before on the first “Iron Man”. While they are credited with the story and co-writing, it would appear that the Abrams crew was possibly brought in to polish things up. How much is left of Scott Mitchell Rosenberg’s original story is unknown to me. I tried to read it and could only get through the first ten pages of his graphic novel. It is awful. Let’s just say that there’s aliens, there’s cowboys, and that’s probably all that remains the same and it’s all for our better.

In “Cowboys & Aliens,” things could get summed up rather quickly. A man (Craig) with no name (because he can’t remember it) awakens in the Arizona desert with a bloody slit in his side, a photo, and some sort of device attached to his wrist. After violently taking out three armed men, he heads into Absolution where all he wants to do is get a drink and be left alone. A woman named Ella (Olivia Wilde) seems to know who he is and soon enough, Sheriff John Taggart (Keith Carradine) recognizes him as Jake Lonergan, wanted for lots of things, most importantly the murder of Alice (Abigail Spencer), seen only in flashback, naturally.

Soon enough, we find out the thing on Jake’s wrist is some kind of extraterrestrial boomstick when alien ships whiz through town picking up a few townsfolk along the way. Including, but not limited to, Taggert, local saloon owner Doc’s (Sam Rockwell) wife Maria (Ana de la Reguera), and Woodrow Dolarhyde’s (Ford) son Percy (Paul Dano). Now, a posse sets out to chase after the “demon” visitors including Jake, Ella, Doc, and Dolarhyde, along with Dolarhyde’s surrogate American Indian son Nat (Adam Beach), a dog, and Taggart’s grandson Emmett (Noah Ringer). It’s not long before we finally learn why the aliens are here and what they want with and from us.

While most will be heading in with a certain expectation since Universal’s marketing department is trumpeting the film as “From the director of “Iron Man,” which, of course, it is; don’t be expecting this to be a western/alien themed version of that. This film has a whole tone of its own and, while it is able to sneak in a few one-liners, it’s nowhere near as jokey as you’d think coming from a comic book adaptation. The comic book takes itself way too seriously, and while the film doesn’t exactly float on the fluffy side, make no mistake that this is one wild ride.

It also can’t be ignored that while none of the writers were involved with this summer’s (and so far year’s) best film “Super 8”, Spielberg was, so it should come as little surprise that some of the aliens here bear a slight resemblance to that film’s own “Cooper.” But these aliens are far from just wanting to phone home. They are malicious and pretty scary. Some of Favreau’s choices of shots even make you wonder if he filmed with a 3-D conversion in mind as a precaution. But thankfully the film never went that direction. A lot of this film is dark, and we all know those cursed glasses act more like wearing sunglasses which would just make sitting through most of the film unbearable.

On a side note, it was also nice to see a summer blockbuster featuring a “special makeup and animatronics” credit for a change. Yes, a lot of what you see during the big action scenes were obviously done with a computer, but a lot of what makes the aliens here work so well is the use of good ol’ fashioned men in suits. There’s something far creepier about actual alien appendages coming at you than just another CGI effect. So while the dust may be settling from this summer’s two biggest money makers (“Transformers 3” and “HP 7.2”), there’s still time left for these “Cowboys & Aliens” to kick up a little more.

Photos courtesy Universal Pictures

Movie Review: “Crazy, Stupid, Love.”

2011-07-28T15:14:00.000-06:00

Pretty, Brilliant, Film!

***** out of 5
Rated PG-13 for coarse humor, sexual content and language.
118 minutes
Warner Bros. Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Crazy, Stupid, Love. on Blogcritics.

Everyone must know at least something about love, right? Most people don’t wanna talk about it while all the youngsters think that’s all they want. Being a helpless romantic is probably even harder. All we want is to find that one somebody to wake up next to for the rest of our lives. Seems like an odd subject matter at first coming from the the writers of the Billy Bob Thornton-starring “Bad News Bears” and “Bad Santa,” directors of “I Love You, Phillip Morris,” along with their throwaway kid flick “Cats & Dogs.”

Yet if you’ve actually seen “Phillip Morris” you’ll know right away that an examination of love in all the wrong (and right) places isn’t too big of a stretch for Glenn Ficarra and John Requa, for there’s always been at least a little bit of heart in place. Ok, maybe not so much with “Bears,” but even “Santa” had a reasonable change of heart after dealing with the likes of Thurman Merman and his crazy grandmother.

In “Crazy, Stupid, Love.” we find two very different men at two very opposite ends of the love spectrum. Cal (Steve Carell) loves his wife Emily (Julianne Moore) possibly too much. While she decides to announce she wants a divorce when all he wants is crème brûlée, he gives her what she wants. So much so that while she nervously chats away on the ride home he tuck and rolls out the passenger door. Talk about fight or flight.

Meanwhile, Jacob (Ryan Gosling) is living the life of luxury, bedding one woman after the next. All except for one Hannah (Emma Stone), that is. She only has eyes for her boyfriend Richard (Josh Groban) because he’s nice and cute. But Hannah’s "PG-13 rated" life isn’t good enough for Hannah’s best friend Liz (Liza Lapira). She encourages her to step up her game to at least an R rating but Hannah just wants to play it safe, she is after all, frying bigger fish with studying to pass the bar exam after all.

Now Cal is out on his own, while his son Robbie (Jonah Bobo) is more stunned by the fact that his dad jumped from a moving vehicle than he is about the divorce. Robbie completely looks up to his father. And as the babysitter Jessica (Analeigh Tipton) points out, their kids are the only kids she sits for who actually want to stay up for dad to come home. They all get excited for mom of course, but typically never dad. Jessica probably feels so inclined to tell Emily this because she happens to have a high school crush on Cal and thinks that Emily is “bat shit crazy” for wanting a divorce all because she slept with her coworker David Lindhagen (Kevin Bacon).

Everyone has their cross to bear and there are a lot of twists and turns let alone a fair share of pure surprises. The ads do not do this film any sort of justice. While at first glance it sort of resembles what you could call “The 40-Year-Old-Born-Again-Virgin,” it’s far better than that. Not to talk down on “Virgin,” it’s still one of the absolute best comedies in years, but “Crazy, Stupid, Love.” is chock full of all kinds of thoughtful and emotional surveys about the topic of love in all its forms. There comes a moment toward the end of the film where a speech is given. In that speech the film’s ultimate point is made, that everyone has a soul mate and when you find that one person you fight for them no matter what. I couldn’t agree with this more. And while it will make far more sense after having seen the film, I just have to say that I’m sure glad I bought that hot chocolate.

Photos courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures

Movie Review: “Friends with Benefits”

2011-07-22T07:37:00.000-06:00

The summer's comedy streak continues. Hit it, don't quit it.

**** out of 5
Rated R for some violent content and brief sexuality
109 minutes
Screen Gems

Article first published as Movie Review: Friends with Benefits on Blogcritics.

The sex comedy must be a really hard genre to pull off. While Judd Apatow has recently really nailed it, very few have been able to score any real homeruns. Not even the '80s master himself, Ivan Reitman, could muster up a film that lived up to the expectations of”” his yesteryears. While I was in a huge minority that liked “No Strings Attached”, leave it to Will Gluck, the director of “Easy A”, one of my personal favorites from last year to bring us pretty much the exact same movie, but with far greater results, with “Friends with Benefits.”

We begin with two couples. Dylan (Justin Timberlake) and Kayla (Emma Stone) are on their way to a John Mayer concert while Jamie (Mila Kunis) Quincy (Andy Samberg) are meeting up to see a screening of “Pretty Woman.” Before you can say happily-ever-after their nights decide to “suck a bag of dicks” and Kayla and Quincy pull the ol’ switcheroo and break up with our protagonists. Now Jamie is picking Dylan up at JFK for a job interview. She’s an “executive recruiter” and has been headhunting Dylan for the past six months for a job in Manhattan. Dylan is on the cusp of selling out from an online blog to art editor for “GQ.” After taking Dylan to her favorite spots to sell him on the NYC life and using a flashmob closer, Dylan accepts the job and uproots himself to the big city. Now he’s a fish out of water in the city where “everyone seems so violent.”

Having no friends in a big city must be tough. It’s not like your co-workers are going to want to hang out with their boss and being from Los Angeles can get you easily shunned in the Big Apple. When the only person who seems to want to hang out with you also happens to be gay (Woody Harrelson) and is continually questioning whether you are, you may seek the comfort in the solace of the only girl you know. After a pseudo montage of hang outs, Dylan and Jamie come to the realization that what happens after the big kiss in romantic comedies happens to be porn. Which should also be emotionless and strictly physical... Uh huh. After swearing on an iPad Bible app, the two vow to remain friends after getting down and dirty. While you may know where everything leads after this, it’s up to the couple and the director to make sure we stay invested.

Having a terrific script and an amazing supporting cast helps as well; not to mention some splendid cameos along the way. Director Gluck may not have brought us an even better film than “Easy A,” but where that film came out of nowhere, this film is hot on the heels of a prior film with the exact same plot. It’s almost how DreamWorks and Pixar used to function. Which is ironic seeming how “No Strings Attached” happens to be a DreamWorks film whereas this is from “the S from Hell,” (aka Screen Gems).It probably doesn’t hurt to have Jerry Zucker (“Airplane!,” “The Naked Gun”) on board as a producer either.

Along with his co-writers (Keith Merryman and David A. Newman), Gluck keeps things trucking along and has a much more spirited lead couple in Kunis and Timberlake compared to Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. While Kutcher may be likeable, it still amazes me how he keeps getting cast in lead roles. Timberlake is far more charismatic and seems to have really honed his comedic skills with his stints on “Saturday Night Live” in their Digital Shorts alongside Samberg and his “Lonely Island” crew. Here we actually want the couple to wind up together in spite of the usual romantic-comedy trappings which goes a long way to the film earning its ending. So take my advice and hit it, don’t quit it, this weekend.

Photos courtesy Screen Gems

Movie Review: "Captain America: The First Avenger"

2011-07-21T13:54:00.000-06:00

“Captain America?” More like “Captain Awesome!”

**** ½ out of 5
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action.
125 minutes
Paramount Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Captain America: The First Avenger on Blogcritics.

Some directors have been in the game long enough that eventually they’ll stop pulling punches and wind up delivering their masterstroke. While there are also other kinds of directors who continually dish out one level of dreck after the next (Uwe Boll), thankfully, Joe Johnston has finally come into his own. While it may all be part of Marvel Studios’ master plan of tying a string of films together into one cohesive story, “Captain America: The First Avenger,” is a truly welcome addition as we wait out for May 4, 2012, when Joss Whedon finally unleashes “The Avengers” upon us.

There’s always been a sense of fun first when it comes to Joe Johnston’s resume. Just look at it – “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids,” “The Rocketeer,” “Jumanji,” even “Jurassic Park III” and “The Wolfman were still pretty solid guilty pleasures. It’s a good thing his screenwriters (Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely) finally pulled their heads out of their asses with Joe Simon and Jack Kirby’s creation. When you’re main credits are all three of the dreadfully boring “Chronicles of Narnia” flicks I wasn’t holding my breath. But with assured direction and a studio that cares about their own universe standing behind him, there’s no doubt that “Captain America” will proceed with great box office returns.

With a modern day prologue set somewhere in a random snowscape, an obvious Agent Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg) has been lead to an icy tundra where some kind of ship or plane has been discovered. Within he finds a frozen over shield before we’re whisked away to 1942 Germany. Johann Schmidt (Hugo Weaving) is hunting down the almighty Cosmic Cube. Meanwhile, Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) has just been rejected from signing up for the Army for the fifth time. All he wants to do is fight for the little guy, something he knows all too well as he weighs about 90 pounds and fights one kind of chronic illness daily including asthma. Rogers’ best friend “Bucky” (Sebastian Stan) has just been sent out to fight and when Dr. Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci) overhears them talking about Rogers will to fight for his country he enlists him as part of a special project.

It’s off to boot camp where Rogers meets the love of his life in British Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) and his biggest proponent Colonel Chester Phillips (Tommy Lee Jones). Or so we think, until Schmidt involves Dr. Arnim Zola in finding a way to harness the unlimited power of the Cosmic Cube to develop a new weapon to take over the world but not before Rogers has become a super soldier and now the two are each others arch nemesis and now Schmidt has become Red Skull, aka HYDRA’s very own version of Hitler. And Rogers is now officially “Captain America,” who’s rounded up his own band of brothers in Timothy ‘Dum Dum’ Dugan (Neal McDonough), Gabe Jones (Derek Luke), Jim Morita (Kenneth Choi), James Montgomery Falsworth (JJ Field), and Jacques Dernier (Bruno Ricci) to fight for what’s right and bring down the evil HYDRA.

While you could nit pick all the homages Johnston throws into his pot, I suppose it was his way of being able to put his own stamp on “Captain America.” Ranging from “Hellboy” to “Raiders of the Lost Ark” to “Return of the Jedi,” sometimes it’s nice to see a director wear his influences on his sleeve. It’s worked for Quentin Tarantino for 18 years so why can’t anyone else do it, right? Some of the film even plays out like a mash up of Steven Spielberg’s “Saving Private Ryan” and “War of the Worlds.” You’ll see what I mean.

However, the real glue to everything has to be given credit to Chris Evans. If you’re expecting him to approach Rogers with the machismo that oozed forth from his role in the criminally underseen “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World”, he’s definitely not aping his Lucas Lee persona here. And he’s particularly come a long way from his performance as Jake Wyler in “Not Another Teen Movie.” He infuses Rogers with a true goodwill and a lot of heart, because after all, that’s why Dr. Erskine handpicked him for the project to begin with.

But in the end, it’s Joe Johnston proving he’s more than just a “shooter” here. He’s become a true craftsman with “Captain America.” While the summer may have already given us one piece of the “Avengers” puzzle with “Thor”, now we get “The First Avenger: who’s far from a slouch. Worry all you want naysayers, Joe Johnston has knocked it out of the park with this one and even manages to give the PG-13 rating a real run for its money. Calling one scene “splattacular” is an understatement and I’m still amazed they pulled it off. It’s also of note that even while being converted to the 3-D format, it finally managed to make me actually dodge something that really looks like its about to come flying at your face. Bravo indeed.

Note: There is supposed to be a final “scene” after the credits but for some reason it was not attached to our screening. Hopefully it finds its way online this weekend. But for everyone else, I think I’ve given you enough reason to step up and buy your tickets for the best action film of the summer.

Photos courtesy Paramount Pictures

Movie Review: "Winnie the Pooh"

2011-07-18T09:54:00.000-06:00

I'd rather spend any day in The Hundred Acre Wood over another wizardly fortress.

**** ½ out of 5
Rated G
69 minutes
Walt Disney Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Winnie the Pooh (2011) on Blogcritics.

John Lasseter may be credited with having directed “Cars 2” but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t paying attention to his other many endeavors. Even with only an executive producer credit it’s painfully obvious he was taking closer care of another project outside of Pixar Animation Studios. While Walt Disney Animation Studios’ last classically animated feature was the well received, blockbuster-lacking “The Princess and the Frog”, I felt it was a great throwback to the studios’ heyday starting back with “The Little Mermaid.” Now with a heavy dose of nostalgia and an arsenal of talented animators it’s literally back to the drawing board for “Winnie the Pooh.”

Bringing the characters to a whole new generation visiting A.A. Milne’s Hundred Acre Wood shouldn’t be too difficult a task for directors Stephen J. Anderson and Don Hall. Disney has been continually churning out merchandising, TV shows, and direct-to-video offerings for years. Its biggest obstacle may be presented in the questionable decision to release the “silly old bear” up against one wizarding wizard of Hogwarts. Inexplicable is just about the only word to describe this. Maybe they’re hoping that if the final 3-D installment of the “Potter” series is sold out they can catch a ticket to “Pooh” instead. And at a scant 69 minutes they surely should.

“Winnie the Pooh” begins as it should with a quick live action bedroom scan of one Christopher Robin (voiced by Jack Boulter). Our Narrator (John Cleese) explains that the boy has an overactive imagination, likes to collect things large and small, but that his favorite toys happen to be his stuffed animals. Yes, everyone is back and accounted for. Rabbit (voiced by Tom Kenny), Owl (voiced by Craig Ferguson), Kanga (voiced by Kristen Anderson-Lopez) and Roo (voiced by Wyatt Dean Hall), Piglet (voiced by Travis Oates), and of course Winnie the Pooh and Tigger too (both voiced by Jim Cummings). But the star this time just may be Eeyore (voiced by Bud Luckey).

While Eeyore may not exactly be the main attraction, the new story of “Winnie the Pooh Has a Very Important Thing to Do,” features Eeyore’s tael… err, tail, as the MacGuffin. He has lost his tail and the grand prize of a pot of hunny is up for grabs but the gang has even bigger things to worry about as a “Backson” is on the loose and may have taken their beloved Christopher Robin. It’s all a misunderstanding of course but it’s enough to set everyone off on a series of misadventures to capture the Backson set to tickle the funny bone and warm the heart of course. It’s everything you’d expect from a Disney/Pixar collaboration and is more than enough to make up for the lengthy but still highly enjoyable “Cars 2” in spite of that being Pixar’s own first total blunder.

Having just watched “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” just last week some of the voices are a little jarring. But after looking over the film’s IMDB page it appears that it’s only for those of us with the most fondness for the original voices of Sterling Holloway (Pooh) and Paul Winchell (Tigger) will pay any attention. Although, Jim Cummings makes for a far better Pooh than Tigger, and I must say that Bud Luckey makes for a splendid Eeyore. Stuffed to the gills with beautiful throwback animation and chock full of sure to be repeated ad nauseam songs courtesy Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward (“She & Him”) as well as new originals sung by the cast.

At one point Pooh says that he wishes a paragraph had been a bit longer, and the same goes for the whole film. It flies by far too quickly, even with the opening short, “The Ballad of Nessie” about the Loch Ness Monster getting the boot from her pond and off in search of a new home. It’s so nice to see everyone back up on the big screen, jumping from page to page and hanging on every word (sometimes literally). So while everyone else is off to see the wizard, you don’t have to visit your thinking place to know that a trip to the Hundred Acre Wood is an even better place to be this weekend.

Photos courtesy Walt Disney Pictures

Movie Review: "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2"

2011-07-15T07:09:00.000-06:00

HP 7.2 has finally come for everyone to say goodbye.

*** ½ out of 5
Rated PG-13 for some sequences of intense action violence and frightening images.
130 minutes
Warner Bros. Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 on Blogcritics.

As I mentioned in my last review for “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1”, some movies are the pure definition of critic proof. After 1178 minutes of wizards, elves, goblins, giants, trolls and horcruxes (which ironically make more sense in this film without any explanation versus in the last film which took time to explain them at ridiculously confusing length), it has finally occurred to me that I simply just don’t care. Of course, I would never say that these films are made for me; they have an audience, and I simply just don’t belong in it. Over $2 billion domestically can’t be wrong, right? As was the case before, the story remains the same for this official Muggle with “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.”

Everyone has their “thing” when it comes to films. I’ve mentioned before that one of mine happens to be the “Scream” series. However, I also highly enjoy “Star Wars,” “Star Trek,” and “Lord of the Rings” (if you want to get into comparable franchises). I will never say that any of the “Harry Potter” films are bad films, because they are far from it. Slickly made, highly polished, newly converted to the third dimension for the big finale, they are grand entertainment for sure. But after the single triumph of “Prisoner of Azkaban,” the film adaptations of J.K. Rowling's young-adult novels had yet been able to win me over. Every new film I walk in, cross my fingers, and hope for the best. Personally, it just doesn’t click with me. And that’s fine of course. Just don’t try burning me at the stake over it.

I would never compare these films to the abhorrent “Twilight” saga either. Those are terrible, awful, ludicrous films that spit in the face of myth, legend, and good cinema in general. My main nitpick comes with when someone tries to explain that my lack of enjoyment is based on the fact that I haven’t read the books. Sorry, this is a film; it is a totally separate medium. You do not, nor never have had to have partaken of one to enjoy the other. One is a book, the other a film. They are not the same thing and having never fully enjoyed the series, I am not about to start from scratch and read through the 4,100 pages of what I’ve already seen transpire up on the big screen. That would take way longer than 1,178 minutes I’ve already put into them. Not that there’s anything wrong with doing so.

Another problem is that everything tries to be so big, grand, and epic, thanks to director David Yates swirling cameras and Alexandre Desplat’s roaring score, yet having never read the books everything's so transparent. There are no surprises. Everything has been completely telegraphed over the course of the last “seven” films. Again, not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just that as a non-Potter aficionado, a standard patron if you will, there should still be some element of that going in. And thanks to the leak of set photos, even the ending has been spoiled ahead of time. At a mere 130 minutes, I expected this to be the wham-bam thank-you-ma’am series finale that everyone was clamoring it would be. And for “Potter” fans it definitely is. But for the rest of us, thanks to Steve Kloves' marauding screenplay, it turns itself into its own version of “Lord of the Rings” where the battle wages on, and on, and on. So needless to say, pick up your spoons, Boy Wizard fanatics, because you are going to eat this up, and really, that’s all that really matters in the end.

Photos courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures

Movie Review: "Horrible Bosses"

2011-07-08T07:09:00.000-06:00

Not completely wish fulfillment per se, but completely hilarious for sure.

**** ½ out of 5
Rated R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language and some drug material.
100 minutes
Warner Bros. Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Horrible Bosses on Blogcritics.

I can only imagine how hard it must really be to get your foot in the door these days in Hollywood. Festival circuits seem to be the most worthwhile. Make something crowd pleasing or maybe even some kind of instant classic and the suits are swiftly upon you. Next thing you know, you’ve gone from a well-received documentary about two rival “Donkey Kong” champions (“King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters”), to one of the two worst Christmas revolving films: “Four Christmases;” the other being “Fred Claus.” After taking a breather with some TV credits to hone one’s craft, Seth Gordon finally makes his big screen break with “Horrible Bosses.”

I love a good dark comedy. While my taste runs the gauntlet from “Death Becomes Her,” “The War of the Roses,” “Serial Mom,” “Grosse Pointe Blank,” to “Very Bad Things,” sometimes there’s nothing wrong with horrible things happening to horrible people. Such is most definitely the case in “Horrible Bosses.” “Office Space” this is not. While none of the writers involved are household names, there’s a lot of energy running through Michael Markowitz, John Francis Daley (“Freaks and Geeks”), and Jonathan M. Goldstein’s script. Even if there’s also an abundant case of obvious improvisation happening between the cast as showcased during the hilarious end credits.

Nick (Jason Bateman), Dale (Charlie Day), and Kurt (Jason Sudeikis), all have the epitome of “Horrible Bosses.” Nick works for Dave Harken (Kevin Spacey in a Lester Burnham meets Buddy Ackerman hybrid), aka “Total Fucking Asshole,” where he is lead to believe that he’s first in line to becoming the new Senior Vice-President of Sales. Dale works alongside Dr. Julia Harris (Jennifer Aniston), aka “Evil Crazy Bitch, D.D.S.,” where she likes to sexually harass him by spraying his crotch with water picks or wearing nothing but panties and an overcoat. And Kurt used to work for Jack Pellit (Donald Sutherland), that is until the day he dies from a heart attack and the family business is handed over to Jack’s son Bobby (Colin Farrell), aka “Dipshit Cokehead Son.”

Life is literally hell for our trio of friends who like to gather for drinks to “hypothetically” discuss how much easier things would be if they all killed their bosses. At first they figure they could all quit their jobs, at least until they run into their old friend Kenny (P.J. Byrne) who’s so strapped for cash after getting caught up in the Lehman Brothers fiasco, that he’ll resort to $40 handjobs in the men’s room. Now things are looking more literal after Dale finally gives in to the idea after Julia tries to get him to have sex with her on top of his fiancée Stacy (Lindsay Sloane). After they learn the true meaning of what “wetwork” is, the trio uses their new NaviMap friend “Gregory” (Brian George) to guide them to a dangerous bar where they hook up with “Mother Fucker” Jones (Jamie Foxx) who becomes their “murder consultant” for $5,000. Before you can say “Throw Strangers from the Train,” they head off for intel and recon to find what they need to finally find their way out.

It should come as no surprise to see a rapport between Day and Sudeikis. The two played partners in comedic crime almost a year ago in “Going the Distance.” With Bateman as the straight man, there’s no joke these three can’t nail together. While the film may never really play up the more violent means to their end, the verbal sparring is a constant onslaught of hilarious. Just how much of the original script remains intact we may never know, but what winds up on screen is constant gold. Director Gordon keeps things running smoothly with each scenario working more as just a setup to some brilliant set pieces and even manages to pull off a surprisingly effective “boo moment.” It’s also nice to see things not get bogged down with any out of place extreme violence (here’s looking at you “The Hangover Part II”).

So it may not feature the heart of say, “Bridesmaids”; this film is playing more towards the type of crowd who wouldn’t want that anyway. We’re more in the kind of territory “Bad Teacher” is mining to great lengths and this summer seems to be the reckoning of some hilarious comedies. While other summer movies may be relying more on 3-D enhanced CGI spectacle, it’s nice to see a few movies playing things in a more traditional sense. So long as next month’s “30 Minutes or Less” can manage to keep up, we should see summer 2011 batting 4-0, because thankfully, “Horrible Bosses” serves up another home run.

Photos courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures

Movie Preview: July 2011

2011-06-29T12:40:00.000-06:00

Summer finally starts firing on all cylinders.

Article first published as Movie Preview: July 2011 on Blogcritics.

With June winding up a tad bit on the mediocre side, I suppose it was time for a breather before summer finally pulled out its big guns. The studios are prepped and ready with something for everyone and its high time they started earning your hard earned cash again. Let’s delve a little deeper and see what’s in store to break box office records or get trampled along the way.

July 1st

With its ever changing release date finally set for 9:00 p.m. June 28, it's time for Michael Bay’s rock ‘em, sock ‘em, special effects extravaganza to take over the summer’s box office as Transformers discover what’s lurking on the “Dark of the Moon.” With a real script on hand courtesy of more miss (“Scream 3,” “The Skeleton Key,” “Blood and Chocolate,” “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” “Impostor,” “Reindeer Games”) than hit (“Arlington Road,” “The Ring”) scribe Ehren Kruger, at least this time they have one. They’ve also brought along James Cameron’s Fusion cameras, replaced Megan Fox with a Victoria’s Secret model (Rosie Huntington-White), and scrambled up a better supporting cast in John Malkovich, Alan Tudyk, Ken Jeong, and even Frances McDormand! Cross your fingers that this installment harkens back more to the original than that dismal sequel.

Having been in the acting game for over 30 years now, it’s no wonder that everyone knows the name Tom Hanks. Aside from the fact that he’s also known for always giving a great performance no matter how lame the film he’s in (the Dan Brown adaptations anyone?), he’s also pretty keen when he’s sitting in the director’s chair. While his credits may only include “That Thing You Do!” and some TV episodes of “Tales from the Crypt,” “A League of Their Own,” and his own “From the Earth to the Moon” and “Band of Brothers,” he definitely knows how to make for winning entertainment. With “Larry Crowne,” here’s hoping his re-teaming with co-star Julia Roberts (“Charlie Wilson’s War”) can be as charming as the trailer and TV spots make it look, and that co-writer Nia Vardalos (“My Big Fat Greek Wedding”) doesn’t over-saturate the thing with too much schmaltz. I believe in Hanks. For the kiddie set, there’s also some flick starring Selena Gomez called “Monte Carlo” involving mistaken identities and a Gomez-filled soundtrack.

July 8th

When a film has a mass of writers attached to the credits it typically spells written by committee. And when said film is also attached to Happy Madison Productions, stars Kevin James, and an onslaught of talking animals, you know the film is going to make plenty of money while making most of the film-going audience wondering what exactly is wrong with all the people who willfully spent an evening watching it. Yes, James is starring in “Zookeeper” in which he plays the titular character looking like they aren’t even trying to cover up the fact that it’s just James reprising his supposed “everyman” role with which he’s been fooling audiences since “King of Queens.” Whatever happened to the once hopeful performance he gave us in “Hitch?” Oh wait, somewhere down the line he made best friends with Adam Sandler and it’s been all down hill from there.

Thankfully, on the upside of things, we get something better than that with “Horrible Bosses.” Here we get a grand comedic cast featuring Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis being terrorized by their bosses from hell with the likes of Kevin Spacey, “Colin Farrell,” and Jennifer Aniston. If you’ve seen the ads for this you know it’s going to be a raucous good time. While director Seth Gordon may have not lived up to his promise when it comes to feature films after his debut with the documentary “The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters,” it's time for his big screen presence to reach its full potential. After all, he’s been honing his craft in the TV worlds of “Parks and Recreation,” “Community,” “The Office,” and “Modern Family,” and let it be known that “Four Christmases” was just his way of getting a foot in the door.

July 15th

Here we have the tale of two family fare movies. It’ll be no surprise to see whether our friends at Pooh Corner stand a chance against the final chapter of Hogwarts but alas, for some reason Disney found it acceptable to open their silly old bear, “Winnie the Pooh,” against “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.” The best part about this is that “Pooh” takes things back to basics with traditional animated storytelling while Warner Bros. has decided to go all out for their grand finale where something finally happens and has added post-production converted 3-D into the mix. I think these two films speak for themselves and both will wind up in the top two spots this weekend because if you aren’t able to get into one, the other will surely be starting soon.

July 22nd

Marvel goes retro with “Captain America: The First Avenger” finally rounding out its “Avengers” tie-ins. Director Joe Johnston may not have the best track record, but he does know how to make for an entertaining time at the movies (“Honey, I Shrunk the Kids,” “The Rocketeer,” “Jumanji,” “Jurassic Park III,” “The Wolfman”). Even if most of them have wound up being guilty pleasures. Either way, when your cast consists of Chris Evans in the title role, Hugo Weaving as The Red Skull, with Stanly Tucci and Tommy Lee Jones also in tow, the stage is set for Marvel to once again rule the cinematic universe. The only thing capable of possibly killing the fun would be Paramount’s choice of writers (Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely), who only have the last two overwrought “Chronicles of Narnia” films under their belt. I’m sure everyone involved knows that there’s far too much at stake here for Marvel and Paramount to blunder right at the finish line.

On the flip side of things comes a new comedy from Will Gluck (“Easy A”). Justin Timberlake has been known to be funny when he’s doing stints with “The Boys” of Lonely Island on “Saturday Night Live” and managed to get some laughs in “Bad Teacher, but now he’s up against the likes of Mila Kunis who’s been bringing the funny since 1998 when she was cast as Jackie on “That ‘70s Show.” In an R-rated comedy centered around being “Friends with Benefits,” here’s hoping that this film succeeds even better than “No Strings Attached.” With the movie featuring game backup players Patricia Clarkson, Jenna Elfman, Richard Jenkins, Woody Harrelson, Andy Samberg, and even Emma Stone, I think things look pretty safe here.

July 29th

And the award for the month’s busiest day officially goes to July 29. With four big movies popping up, let’s take a gander. Two of the smaller offerings happen to be better looking than at least one of the two bigger films opening. When your prior string of hits consists of writing “Bad Santa,” “Bad News Bears,” and directing “I Love You, Phillip Morris,” let’s hope that for Glenn Ficarra and John Requa’s second outing behind the camera pans out with “Crazy, Stupid, Love.” Ironically, in this case they didn’t write the screenplay. Credit this time goes to Dan Fogelman, who’s resume reads strictly Disney (“Cars,” “Bolt,” “Tangled”) and the atrocious “Fred Claus”). Here’s hoping Fogelman’s first foray into big screen adult oriented live action pays off since we already know Ficarra and Requa know how to bring the funny. It doesn’t hurt that they’ve got such a grand cast consisting of Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Marisa Tomei, Julianne Moore, and Kevin Bacon.

Meanwhile, Edgar Wright performs producer duties helping chum Joe Cornish get his aliens-invade-South- London opus, “Attack the Block,” into theaters on this side of the pond. While Nick Frost (“Hot Fuzz,” “Shaun of the Dead”) may be the only familiar cast member to U.S. audiences, the trailer looks like it’s right up the alley of anyone waiting for Wright, Frost, and Simon Pegg to close their Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy. Also today, we get a healthy does of CGI characters thrust upon us with director Raja Gosnell's (“Beverly Hills Chihuahua,” “Yours, Mine and Ours,” both “Scooby Doos,” “Big Mommas House,” “Never Been Kissed,” and “Home Alone 3”) lackluster cartoon adaptation upon us. This time he thought it was a good idea to give “The Smurfs” the “Alvin and the Chipmunk/Garfield” treatment and to drag Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays, and Hank Azaria through the mud with him. As if anyone ever questioned whether these things are good ideas or not; they’re not.

So finally, comes the film that looks to be exactly what its title suggests: “Cowboys & Aliens.: The wild wild west is set for invasion with Jon Favreau taking the reigns. After building his resume with such films as the “Iron Mans”, along with “Zathura” and “Elf,” it also can’t hurt to have a few of J.J. Abrams’ closest buddies (Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, Damon Lindelof), along with his “Iron Man” writers (Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby) helping out with the screenwriting duties. Judging by the previews, the movie takes some major liberties with the original comic book by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg. And thank jeebus! The original comic is pretty bland and features some awful storytelling, so there’s no way James Bond (Daniel Craig) and Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) can’t save the day as stylishly as you’d suspect. Not to mention they’ve got Olivia Wilde along for the ride in the female eye candy department, and Sam Rockwell too!

I feared that July would be the month to beat this summer, but so far the end of April through early June have given it a good run for its money. In the end, only the box office will tell what truly succeeded in spite of whatever we critics think. But of course I’ll be here to help you along the way in figuring out which films are wholly worth your time and money. Meanwhile, sit down and buckle up as July 2011 tides us over until next summer comes to blast us all away with its glutton of awesomeness.

Photos courtesy Paramount Pictures, Universal Pictures, Columbia Pictures, Warner Bros. Pictures, Walt Disney Studios, and Screen Gems

Movie Review: "Bad Teacher"

2011-06-23T17:16:00.000-06:00

Sort of a “Bad Santa” with teachers.

**** ½ out of 5
Rated R for sexual content, nudity, language and some drug use
92 minutes
Columbia Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Bad Teacher on Blogcritics.

Expectations can be everything walking into any movie. While some have ad campaigns and an onslaught of TV commercials, teasers, and trailers that lead you to believe their movie is the next cinematic-Ali, others simply have to rely on what gets cast up on the screen. When the film you’re about to see comes from a very hit (TV’s “The Office”) or miss (“Year One”) team of writers, Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg, all you can do is let the film prove itself. Thankfully, under the hilarious direction of Jake Kasdan (son of Lawrence), “Bad Teacher” shows us that “Bridesmaids” aren’t the only ones out to earn our laughs this summer.

While Kasdan may have only produced two prior feature films you’ve actually heard of (“Orange County,” “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story”), he’s finally aiming for the silver screen comedy big leagues here. Armed with a raunchy script and a more than game cast it’s no wonder that everything works so well. While Cameron Diaz may be fizzling from the spotlight she’s earned in the past, it’s nice to see her wriggling her way back into the realm of likeability. After her performances in this, “Knight and Day,” and “The Green Hornet,” it’s about time she started earning her paychecks again.

Elizabeth Halsey (Diaz) hasn’t always been a “Bad Teacher.” She may have done whatever she could to keep herself outcast, but it’s not until her fiancée Mark (Nat Faxon) calls off the wedding at his mother’s (Stephanie Faracy) insistence, that she spirals into the foul mouthed, pot smoking, Craigslist rooming, alcoholic, possibly nymphatic teacher that she becomes after returning to John Adams Middle School (or JAMS, as its called throughout the movie). While gym teacher Russell Gettis (Jason Segel) may have the hots for Elizabeth, she sets her sights on substitute teacher Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake) even if he actually develops a crush on Elizabeth’s “across-the-hall-mate” Amy Squirrel (Lucy Punch).

Amy and Elizabeth quickly develop a hate/hate relationship because Elizabeth would rather “teach” her students with school-themed feature films ranging from “Stand and Deliver” to “Scream,” while Amy thinks that teaching should be utterly “fun-tastic.” While Elizabeth may only yearn to earn $10,000 for breast implants (including embezzling funds from the 7th grade car wash) she seems to be changing her ways after she learns that the teacher whose students earn the highest scores on the state test gets a $5,700 bonus. Now she’s out to prove that she really can earn a paycheck even if she may or may not have drugged Carl Halabi (Thomas Lennon) to get her hands on a copy of the state test after posing as a journalist for the local newspaper.

While the advertising for the film has been as hit and miss as the writer’s careers, personally I’ve always laughed at the TV spots and knew there was a great comedic cast on deck as well as an assured director. I’ve only laughed this hard and this often in one other movie this year (the already mentioned “Bridesmaids”) and while comedy is of course always subjective, here’s another one that’s a welcome break from the glutton of superheroes, 3-D, and CGI-laden flicks being thrown our way this summer.

It may not have the same amount of heart as “Bridesmaids” did, but this is a totally different beast. Keep your eye out for some fantastic cameos and while you probably wouldn’t know it, the film works as a “Freaks and Geeks” reunion of sorts for Kasdan, Segel, and Dave (Gruber) Allen. And of course you also get to hear Timberlake sing, even if the song here is more akin to his collaborations with “The Lonely Island” than any of his solo offerings, but that’s far more fitting in a film of this ilk. So put your pencils down and your money for “Bad Teacher.”

Photos courtesy Columbia Pictures

Movie Review: "Cars 2"

2011-06-23T13:24:00.000-06:00

With “Cars 2,” even Pixar fluff is still better than most so-called family fare.

**** out of 5
Rated G
113 minutes
Walt Disney Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Cars 2 on Blogcritics.

Sixteen years, 12 films, and 40 Oscar nominations later, Pixar has finally delivered their first true fluff piece. Not that that’s a bad thing. It’s still miles ahead of what’s considered “family” entertainment these days and lives up to the studios typical standards. John Lasseter may be back in the driver’s seat since he brought us the original lackadaisical Cars back in 2006, but thankfully he found a reason to bring his billion dollars worth of merchandising back to the big screen with “Cars 2.”

With a story credit of three (Lasseter himself, co-director Brad Lewis, and Dan Fogelman) and surprisingly only one screenwriter in Ben Queen (who knows a thing or two about car racing after working on TV’s “Drive”) the quartet has managed to breathe a whole new life into the franchise that seemed destined to direct-to-video offerings. Quite a feat considering the series has already spawned a slew of “Cars Toons” and “Planes” on the horizon. By plopping Lightning McQueen (voiced by Owen Wilson) and his BFF Mater (voiced by Larry the Cable Guy) into the middle of the spy genre, it looks like the series is just getting warmed up.

“Cars 2” opens up as any episode of “Alias” or the latest “Bond” entry would with Finn McMissile (voiced by Michael Caine) looking for his lost agent who was last seen amongst the fiery oil rigs somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. Finn discovers that his agent has been compounded and soon enough his own situation has been compromised and a grand chase unfolds. But not before McMissile leads Professor Z (voiced by Thomas Kretschman) and his cronies believe him to be killed. Now we find Mater up his old shenanigans, missing McQueen who quickly arrives back in Radiator Springs after winning his fourth Hudson Hornet Piston Cup. Here it’s business as usual where it seems like we’re going to be getting a whole lot of more of the same.

But then we begin to get introduced to the new lot of characters including Sir Miles Axelrod (voiced by Eddie Izzard), who’s discovered the ultimate fuel alternative in Allinol, and Franceso Bernoulli (voiced by John Turturro), an Italian race car who’s sort of like a G-rated Jean Girard from “Talladega Nights.” After Mater makes a phone call to a TV show, McQueen is goaded into accepting his ignored invitation to Axelrod’s World Grand Prix. Now McQueen and Mater are off to Towkyo where evil doings are afoot and McMissile mistakes Mater for an American spy and along with trusty tech Holley Shiftwell (voiced by Emily Mortimer), Mater is sucked into the world of espionage to save the race from the dastardly plots of the “lemons,” who are out to prove Allinol makes quite a handy weapon when mixed with an electronic pulse in the form of a TV camera.

By taking the “Cars” characters and transplanting them into a whole new world (well, at least as far as the spy genre is concerned), Pixar has found a reason for this sequel to exist outside of selling billions more in merchandising. It’s a little more than coincidental however, that it’s being released with the opening of Cars Land as part of Disney’s California Adventures next summer. It’s a good thing the film is as good as it is to not fall under the spell of some other truly lackluster cash-grab sequels that have been unleashed upon us this summer (Disney’s own “Pirates 4” and “The Hangover Part II”).

All the standard Pixar delights are in place however, as we get a teaser for their next film, “Brave;” a new “Toy Story Toons” short, the far too hilarious “Hawaiian Vacation,” in which the gang give Ken and Barbie their dream vacation after they get left behind while Bonnie takes off for winter break. It was sad to see the gang back together again for these blissful five minutes but we all know that “Toy Story 3” is the best place to leave the film series. It’s more than okay to revisit them in this form if they’re going to be this hilarious.

The score by Michael Giacchino (a welcome Pixar regular now) brings to mind the best scores of spy movies past and Lasseter keeps the jokes flying no matter how high or low brow. While we do get more bathroom humor than most, Pixar somehow always manages to make them funny. And finally, the best joke in the entire movie is a nod to the reviews of the first one. I don’t know how many times I’ve said, “Whenever I need to find something to help me fall asleep, I put in “Cars.” It’s nice to see Pixar able to acknowledge their shortcomings while upping themselves.

If you’re skeptical about the 3-D, skip it. I kept glancing over my glasses and the world of “Cars” was as bright as crisp as ever as compared to viewed through the insipid glasses where it looks like the whole film seems to be taking place at dusk. At first I was worried that “Cars 2” would wind up being just another fluff piece to tide us by until their next truly original venture, but job well done on proving me wrong. While it’s far from the animated game changer I think both “Kung Fu Panda 2” and “Rango” are, here’s hoping “Monsters University” can continue Pixar’s streak of showing just how well sequels can be done.

Photos courtesy Walt Disney Pictures

Movie Review: "Green Lantern"

2011-06-16T13:52:00.000-06:00

“Green Lanturd” has come to try to soil our summer fun.

** out of 5
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action.
105 minutes
Warner Bros. Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Green Lantern on Blogcritics.

Have you ever wondered why there’s such a floundering amount of DC Comics film adaptations floating around? No? Well it’s not too surprising anymore. With only two huge successes in the past six years (“Batman Begins,” “The Dark Knight”), you can’t help but wonder why they have more hits than misses. If ever there was a case study as to why Marvel Comics film adaptations generally beat the pants off DC-issued films it would have to be “Green Lantern.”

I love the superhero genre as I love action movies. While Marvel may be busy making sure their current crop are all tied together in a nice little package, leading up to next year’s “The Avengers,” DC can barely squeeze out a standalone feature. Let alone the fact that there’s a payoff scene I didn’t bother sticking around for as the quality level of the rest of the film singlehandedly makes moot of it. Let’s just say that DC is hoping for another “Batman”-sized franchise but I honestly don’t see that happening.

Maybe when DC returns to their Superman franchise with “Man of Steel;” at least that one still has producers Christopher Nolan along with wife Emma Thomas keeping a keen on things. Not to mention a proven director in Zack Snyder and writer David S. Goyer too. Can the teams behind “Batman,” “Watchmen” and the “Blade” series bring a fresh take to the Superman series? If I were a betting man, I would definitely be putting my money on black with this powerhouse team behind the production.

What we’re left with in “Green Lantern” is the story of hotshot maverick (“Top Gun,” check) Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), given a green ring of great power (“Lord of the Rings,” check), consisting of will, the strongest known power in the universe, by the dying alien named Abin Sur (Temuera Morrison) (who happens to a lot like Freddy Krueger, another New Line/WB property coincidentally). Meanwhile, Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard, who at first looks like he could exclaim “bazinga!” any minute then later looks like the love child of John Malkovich and Eric Stoltz in “Mask”) has been recruited by his father, Senator Hammond (Tim Robbins, bet you can guess why he’s never given a first name in the film) to study the body of Abin Sur.

And just wouldn’t you know it, Hector has been infected with the “blood” of another alien strain which belongs to Parallax (our first glimpse of what Smokey from “Lost” might have looked like had they done any kind of film version). So now Hal Jordan has the ring of power and is whisked away to Oa, one of the 3,600 sectors, to train amongst walking bird-beaked fish-like Tomar-Re (voiced by Geoffrey Rush) and the burly oversized pug-faced Kilowog (voiced by Michael Clark Duncan). Meanwhile, Sinestro (Mark Strong) has little faith in the human Green Lantern nominee and forges a new yellow ring of power consisting of fear to possibly fend off the evil Parallax if Hal Jordan, aka Green Lantern, can’t stop it first.

What a hodgepodge of great ideas we’ve already seen a million times before, thrown into a blender and pureed. It’s not so surprising given the fact that there’s four credited screenwriters (Greg Berlanti, Michael Green, Marc Guggenheim, and Michael Goldenberg); never a great sign. And if you ever happen to be wondering where the budget was spent, look no further than the Parallax CGI and the wasteful 3-D conversion. Maybe if Warner Bros. had spent the extra budget money on polishing up the planet Oa or hiring a different editor (Stuart Baird), things would gel a little better.

It’s sad that this is the best director Martin Campbell and Baird could cobble together. The whole film feels like you’re watching a TV pilot as every other scene feels so anti-climatic. You’re just waiting for the commercials to queue up. What’s sadder is that the pair worked wonders together on “Casino Royale;” I have no idea what happened here, let alone that Baird has brought his hand to some fantastic action films in the past (even if they were mostly from the '80s). Although I will admit there is one stand fight out scene involving Jordan and some laid off co-workers brawling in a parking lot.

There’s bound to be a complete cut of this thing that’s far better than the 105 minutes we got here. While that runtime may seem mighty short, a fair warning: this film feels about twice as long as that. So far, this is the most boring summer tent pole film in at least two years. And that’s being said about a film that’s apparently all about false climaxing. No wonder there’s an obligatory scene chock full of unintentional laughs where Hal asks his engineer friend Thomas Kalmaku (Taika Waititi), “You wanna see it?” He’s supposed to be asking if he wants to see his new superpowers but you’d never know. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

In the end it’ll be interesting to see what happens to this at the box office as I forecast it’ll have a big opening weekend before word-of-mouth spreads and Cars 2 is unleashed by Pixar. While many amongst the critical crowd have been scared of the upcoming sequel, at least this one takes things in a new direction and just about everything else released already this summer (“Fast Five”, “Thor”, “Bridesmaids”, “Kung Fu Panda 2”, and the best of the lot, “Super 8”) have all been monumentally better. This belongs amongst of the ranks of “Pirates Bore… err, 4” and “The Hangover Part II”). Alas, I may be too correct in this assertion as they’re all terrible movies making far too much money. Next please.

Photos courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures

Movie Review: "Super 8"

2011-06-10T08:52:00.000-06:00

This summer, it's arrived. 2011's best picture so far that is.

***** out of 5
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence, language and some drug use.
112 minutes
Paramount Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Super 8 on Blogcritics.

As wonderful as nostalgia can be, is it able to support an entire film? If that’s the question raised most by J.J. Abrams’ “Super 8,” then the answer is a resounding yes. Thankfully, the film is far superior than that. Just last week in my June preview I also pondered what Abrams can bring to the big screen working from a totally original idea. Coming from the man who brought us the likes of TV’s “Felicity,” “Alias,” “Lost,” and “Fringe;” and the man who brought us such cinematic endeavors as “Mission: Impossible III” and “Star Trek;” along with co-writing “Joy Ride” and “Armageddon;” it should come as no surprise to find “Super 8” to be his crowning achievement. It’s also coincidentally, one of the best, if not the best film of 2011 thus far.

A lot of comparisons have been getting thrown around lately about “Super 8” and they’re all pretty sound. Everything from “Stand By Me” meets “Jurassic Park” to “this generation’s ‘Goonies.’” All are fairly reasonable considering it’s about an eclectic group of friends dealing with possibly-extraterrestrial occurrences in their small Ohio town. But for me, the film more stands out comparable to Joe Dante’s “Explorers;” perhaps at least in tone (that is until the kids head into space). This group of friends are really only in a few scenes together and Abrams smartly focuses more on the friendship between Joe Lamb (Joel Courtney) and Charles (Riley Griffiths), Joe and Alice Dainard (Elle Fanning), and the relationship between Joe and his father Deputy Jackson Lamb (Kyle Chandler). Unsurprisingly they have a single parent relationship with Steven Spielberg pulling the producer strings and Abrams touting this as an homage to the early 80’s Spielberg brand of family films when Amblin Entertainment meant everyone was in for a treat.

“Super 8” opens with Joe and Jackson dealing with the passing of mother and wife Elizabeth (Caitriona Balfe) after she’s crushed in an industrial accident at the local steel mill where she filled in that morning for Louis Dainard (Ron Eldard), Alice’s father. Joe carries around a locket Jackson gave Elizabeth the day he was born and hangs out with his friends making super 8 home movies for a local film festival in Cleveland, but all Jackson wants to do is send Joe away for six weeks to baseball camp. It’s only when Joe, along with Charles, Cary (Ryan Lee), Preston (Zach Mills), Martin (Gabriel Basso), and underage driver Alice go off to shoot a train sequence where all hell breaks loose.

If you’ve seen the teaser trailer you may think you’ve seen the train wreck already. But nothing can prepare you for the full length version of that sequence. Thankfully, Abrams is not a purveyor of 3-D and the film is not converted, otherwise this would never have paid off as suspenseful or frightening as it does. You always have a sense of direction in the action and some of it is pulled off in what appears to be single takes. Abrams and Spielberg set out to show what could be accomplished using a mere $45 million budget and it has paid off beautifully. Also, the film is chock-full of yummy Easter eggs that just beg for multiple viewings. I seriously cannot wait to see this film again! Be sure to stick around for the end credits for a fantastic payoff scene.

Here’s a film where every single element comes together in ways we haven’t seen in family entertainment in far too long. The poignancy never comes off as forced, the relationships seem real, and even the requisite love story comes off as believable. Most adults could only dream of having the chemistry that sparks between Joe and Alice. Meanwhile, Abrams pulls off another feat of never oversexualizing any of this either. You always believe you’re watching real kids, sometimes in real danger, and thanks to his talented team of young actors we buy every minute of it. And even the transition of Jackson from suppressed, grieving, confused father to man of action comes through in a moment of hilarious fashion. And “Super 8” also brings us the most touching analogy of letting go seen in who knows how long.

Bravo to everyone from Abrams, Spielberg, and the entire cast. Even the little things, like posters on Charles’s walls for “Halloween” and “Dawn of the Dead,” are tiny pieces that takes things to the next level. Those are the types of films I was in love with in junior high too and to this day my all-time favorite movie is and will forever be Spielberg’s own “Jaws.” Even the score by Michael Giacchino only further proves my own belief that he’s the second coming of John Williams. And finally, harkening back to the heyday of the already mentioned “Goonies,” “Stand By Me,” and “Explorers,” crossing with “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” and “E.T.,” with just the right dash of “Monster Squad,” “Cloverfield” and “Jurassic Park” is one thing. But hats off to Abrams and company for pulling it off and giving us the best film the 80s never gave us.

Photos courtesy Paramount Pictures

Movie Preview: June 2011

2011-06-02T08:13:00.000-06:00

Article first published as Movie Preview: June 2011 on Blogcritics.

One of the funny things about summer is you never know what's really going to be any good, let alone great. The studios may try to slam you over the head with endless advertising trying to make you think they know what's in your best interest to see, but that's all a matter of publicity. This Memorial Day weekend saw the opening of two hugely anticipated sequels in the likes of “Kung Fu Panda 2” and “The Hangover Part II”. While one was furthering proof of Hollywood artistic bankruptcy, the former was not the smash hit it should have been, or at least not yet. However, with the months of June and July about to bombard us, we can only keep our fingers crossed that something worthwhile is thrown our way. Let's see what bones Hollywood is throwing us this June.

June 3rd

Having a weekend all to yourself must be nice for some film openings. When it comes to the case of “X-Men: First Class” however, it may be the best thing for director Matthew Vaughn. Rebooting a franchise essentially from scratch has to be a far from easy task. Having four credited screenwriters is also typically a recipe for disaster. Yet the word-of-mouth for this beginning level of superhero mutants is nothing but positive thus far. Currently sitting at 98% Rotten Tomatoes shows great news for Twentieth Century Fox. Fingers crossed that even clocking in at 132 minutes can't stop James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Rose Byrne, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hoult, and January Jones from escaping the critically mauled “X-Men Origins: Wolverine.” I have faith in the power of director Vaughn after “Layer Cake,” “Stardust,” and “Kick Ass” (his last superhero action foray). Let's just see if the word-of-mouth holds true.

June 10th

This weekend we find two very different pieces of filmmaking, each featuring a mostly nubile cast. One is destined to become one of the year's most nostalgic blockbusters while the other will undoubtedly die a quick box office death. When the name of J.J. Abrams is attached to a project you know you're in for something grand. After giving us the best “Mission: Impossible” film of the whole franchise yet (“III”), and one of the best reboots ever with “Star Trek,” we finally get to see what Abrams can bring to the big screen working from a totally original idea. It also can’t hurt to have someone by the name of Steven Spielberg as your right hand man on a project either.

Meanwhile, there's “Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer” for anyone with children, or even a pulse, to strictly avoid. When the biggest name in your cast can't even act (Heather Graham), you know you're headed for one of the summer's most bummer movies. Just because author Megan McDonald's book series plays like a fem-centric “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” doesn't mean director John Schultz will be able to work any magic into the film when his last directorial efforts include: “Drive Me Crazy,” “Like Mike,” “When Zachary Beaver Came to Town,” “The Honeymooners,” and “Aliens in the Attic.” My condolences to anyone who gets dragged to this when “Super 8” is playing in the next theater.

June 17th

Counter-programming is sometimes the only way to go. On one hand, you get your geek squad all fired up and on the other you give the rest of the family something see. The Richard and Florence Atwater 1938 classic children's book “Mr. Popper's Penguins” has screamed to be made into a movie for more than 70 years, and it's finally getting the big screen treatment. I just wish it wasn't getting a big 3-D treatment with what's sure to feature an abundance of poop jokes going splat in Jim Carrey's face as the TV commercials seem to indicate. I read this book countless times growing up and it makes me hang my head in shame that this is the best we finally get.

Not to mention that director Mark Waters has one solid hit under his belt with the superb “Mean Girls.” You can't help but wonder if maybe it was the Tina Fey script and cast that were the magic ingredients holding everything together on that one. I guess we get to see either way, right? Although it's also from Sean Anders and John Morris, the writing duo behind “Sex Drive,” “She's Out of My League” and “Hot Tub Time Machine...” Maybe I shouldn't be quite as worried now as they're also getting some help from Jared Stern who contributed to the scripts of “Bolt” and “The Princess and the Frog.” I have absolutely no idea what to think now but honestly kind of can't wait for better or worse (probably most of the latter though).

On the flip side of things comes the second big superhero flick with Ryan Reynolds getting all CGI in “Green Lantern.” Hal Jordan (Reynolds) finally gets to strut his computer-animated green suit of abs as the titular character with Blake Lively as the love interest, and Peter Sarsgaard as the villainous Hector Hammond. Director Martin Campbell certainly knows how to helm an action film what with treating us to two Bond films in “Goldeneye” and “Casino Royale,” two “Zorro” flicks, and “Vertical Limit.” I’ve also heard surprisingly good things about his Mel Gibson vehicle “Edge of Darkness.” Now let’s just hope that the four credited screenwriters have cobbled together a consistent tone and all will be well for Warner Bros. after some incredibly iffy trailers and TV spots.

I think this one may work out to be either the big surprise of the summer or one of the biggest failures as DC has always had a sketchy past when it comes to wining Hollywood features. They’re better known for their share of “Superman III” and “IV,” “Supergirl,” “Swamp Thing,” “Batman & Robin,” “Catwoman,” and “Jonah Hex,” then they are for Richard Donner’s and Bryan Singer’s “Superman” films or any of Tim Burton’s or Christopher Nolan’s “Batmans,” or even “Watchmen” for that matter. Maybe it’s about time they were headed for an about-face, but we’ll just have to wait and see.

June 24th

Another Hollywood epidemic seems to involve witnessing couples either falling in love on and off set or falling out of love while filming, right? What about when the lead couple in a new film are already ex-lovers? Thus is the case for Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake in Jake Kasdan’s “Bad Teacher.” Kasdan hasn’t made a movie since the criminally underrated “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story” but between “Orange County,” and his work on “Freaks and Geeks” and “Undeclared,” here’s hoping the meshing of Apatow regulars and some supporting players from “The Office” can help bring the funny. Also from “The Office” are screenwriters Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky. Only problem with that is their last feature film was the reviled “Year One.” Here’s hoping Kasdan has better luck with things than Harold Ramis was able to. I’m sure Kasdan’s indie background is on his side here however; let alone the film featuring the always welcome presence of Jason Segel!

And finally, there’s a wee movie you may have heard of going by the title of “Cars 2.” John Lasseter returns to the director’s chair of his own Pixar Studios in a sequel to the last film he directed for them. Aside from some random producing credits, co-director Brad Lewis is a literal newcomer to the field. With Pixar and Lasseter himself behind him you have to have faith in the noob. This Pixar film also only credits one person with the screenplay in Ben Queen. Looks like Brad Lewis isn’t the only first timer at work here. Originally Lasseter wasn’t set to direct but maybe he was brought on to make it totally work ala Brad Bird on “Ratatouille.” I have to admit I was originally worried about this one because “Cars” is my least favorite Pixar film, even if it’s been its most commercially successful. But the more I’ve heard about the project the safer it sounds as Lasseter is promising a full out Pixar spy flick as opposed to just another “Cars” outing. If this thing is at least as good as either “Rango” or “Kung Fu Panda 2,” I’ll be exclaiming, “dad gum,” myself.

So with June wrapping up rather nicely, it’ll be interesting to see how well the box office does with this past Memorial Day breaking all kinds of records. While “The Hangover Part II” in no way deserved the kind of money it’s making, you can’t help but think audiences are suffering from their own kind of memory loss when they have the exact same (and ultimately better and funnier) version sitting in their home video libraries. But that was bound to make tons of cash whether it was a worthy follow up or not. Meanwhile, hopefully “Kung Fu Panda 2” can keep its legs and keep itself in the game. There’s no accounting to taste when it comes to picking something to see over the weekend, and thankfully June has plenty to offer before July comes roaring in.

Photos courtesy Twentieth Century Fox, Paramount Pictures, Relativity Media, Warner Bros. Pictures, Walt Disney Pictures, and Columbia Pictures

Movie Review: "Visioneers"

2011-05-27T13:47:00.000-06:00

An overlooked Galifianakis movie gets new life with a re-release.

*** ½ out 5
Not Rated
94 minutes
Fireside Film

Article first published as Movie Review: Visioneers on Blogcritics.

Having just seen “The Hangover Part II, it’s interesting to think about all the characters Zack Galifianakis has actually played over the years. Most of them are rather similar, but what he brings to all of his quirky loveable roles is a darker, snarky side that I can’t help but personally relish. He’s the kind of person who would normally come off as a flat out asshole if you knew whether he was being serious or not. I can’t help but love this about him. I’ve been playing the same part in my life for years. Gotta keep people on their toes right?

The other thing he also brings to the comedic table is the ability to act. He never plays the wacky sidekick the way that, say, Chris Farley used to. Fat guy in a little suit Zack is not. He’d be a bully if he weren’t so damn cuddly looking with his bushy beard and all. Having played bit parts in many films (most notably in things like “Bubble Boy,” “Corky Romano” and “Out Cold”), it’s when he pops up in more surprising films such as “Below,” “Into the Wild,” “Up in the Air,” “Gigantic,” “Youth in Revolt,” and “It’s Kind of a Funny Story,” that he really brings it home. So alas, it’s with B.D. Fox Independent’s DVD re-release of director Jared Drake’s “Visioneers” that he’s used to full effect in a lead role.

In “Visioneers,” Galifianakis plays George Washington Winsterhammerman who’s living amongst a growing epidemic. Working as a Level 3 TUNT at the Jeffers Corp. George has everything he needs in a loving wife in Michelle (Judy Greer) and a huge house. But worldwide, people are literally exploding from stress. Think “Scanners” full fold. We’re not just talking exploding heads; these are full body explosions here. Recently, George has started dreaming, which we learn is symptom number one of impending doom.

George is determined to keep himself stress-free ranging from working with his own personal life coach, Rodger (Matthew Glave), to Michelle obsessing over the book “10,000 Things to be Happy About” she ordered off the Oprah-esque television show “SAHRA” (Missi Pyle). It’s after his co-worker and possibly only friend Charisma (Mia Maestro) leaves the Jeffers Corp., and another co-worker succumbs to the exploding epidemic that George decides that maybe fate needs to be taken into his own hands. He sets out in search for Charisma and hopes to live the happy existence his returned home brother Julieen (James LeGros) talks to him about when he’s not running a hippie compound in George’s backyard and pole vaulting.

Director Jared Drake, bringing his brother Brandon’s witty and satirical screenplay to life with Galifianakis showing he really can carry a whole movie. With the help of the supporting cast, Greer in particular playing the increasingly crazy wife, also keep the tone of the film from ever getting too bleak even if the ending seems a little too emotional by contrast. A happy ending is always welcome and it’s nice to see a character actually earn one on their own.

There are some hilarious gags throughout including the Jeffers Corp.’s idea of salutations and Georges’s dream sequences as the real George Washington. While the film may be three years old now, it’s a great way to get a nice Galifianakis fix while treating yourself to a great little dark comedy as well. “Visioneers” is a little on the slow side but the explosion subplot always feels like a time bomb waiting to go off which adds a tinge of suspense. It’s definitely worth checking out with a new release on home video and for those of you with NetFlix, it’s available streaming in HD as well.

Photos courtesy Fireside Film

Movie Review: "The Hangover Part II"

2011-05-26T16:38:00.000-06:00

Second verse exactly the same as the first as Todd Phillips' films keep getting progressively darker.

** ½ out of 5
Rated R for Pervasive Language, Strong Sexual Content including Graphic Nudity, Drug Use and Brief Violent Images.
102 minutes
Warner Bros. Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: The Hangover Part II on Blogcritics.

When there’s two sequels headed our way in one weekend, it’s hard to not reiterate the beginning of the other. However, sometimes one film is more deserving of accolades. The two films in question are both “Kung Fu Panda 2” and “The Hangover Part II.” One follows the simple rules of sequels where it’s simply more of the same while the other attempts to add deeper characterization and expands upon its own universe. It should come as no surprise that the lesser of the two sequels would fall upon the shoulders of “The Hangover Part II.”

Before the original “Hangover” was even released this sequel was greenlit. Warner Bros. knew they had a surefire hit on their hands and they were right. Only costing $35 million to make, “The Hangover” went on to gross $277 mil domestically with an astounding $467 mil worldwide. A hit? You betcha! Now what to do with a sequel. Questions arose when the trailer was released as it seemed virtually identical to the original. Did director Todd Phillips, with long-time screenwriting partner Scot Armstrong and new addition Craig Mazin, simply remake the original film using Jon Lucas and Scott Moore’s original screenplay as a literal template and just set the film in a new locale? That’s exactly what they did.

But as the old adage may say, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” right? Well you could at least attempt to try something, anything, new. It’s a good thing this movie is so damn funny. The main cast of Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zack Galifianakis - along with supporting players in the likes of Ken Jeong, Mike Tyson, Jeffrey Tambor, and Bryan Callen - have all returned. This time we get a few new additions with Stu’s (Helms) fiancée Lauren (Jamie Chung) and her brother Teddy (Mason Lee). That about sums everything up and, if you’ve seen the first one, that’s all you need to know about the plot in this one. They are literally identical. This time its Stu getting married and they wake up in Bangkok; hilarity ensues… at least for the most part. What you see is what you get and, like I said before, it’s a damn good thing the cast is having fun because this one is raunchier, grosser, and even more mean spirited.

Try as Phillips may, there’s absolutely nothing new to see here. Oh sure, there’s been lots of supposed controversy over a much publicized cameo appearance. It was originally supposed to have been played by Mel Gibson and has since gone on to be covered by Nick Cassavetes. I’m not exactly sure how this counts as a cameo anymore when absolutely no one in the target audience will even know who he is.

The only thing that comes close to a real cameo is Paul Giamatti playing a seedy character named Kingsley who’s in need of bank account numbers and access codes that Mr. Chow (Jeong) has stashed in the vest of a drug running, cigarette smoking monkey. This subplot is so extraneous it defeats the purpose of even being in the film. Every scene is supposed to contain some kind of clue as to what happened during the group’s blackout, but not one thing here pertains to anything else. It’s a huge ten minute gap that could have so easily been excised for whatever is going to wind up on the unrated Blu-ray release anyway.

In the end, as I said before, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Warner Bros. knows they have a good thing going here. The cast is fully engaging and give it their all in spite of pretty much simply remaking the original in a new city. But while the first one contained so much freshness, here it comes off as repetitive. Especially if you just recently rewatched the original as I did last week. However, everything works to make for a crowd pleasing raucous time at the movies.

It’s just a shame that this will probably outgross the far superior “Bridesmaids” Bridesmaids in its opening weekend when all it really does is just outgross the movie if you get what I mean. There’s already been talk of interest in making a third to close everything as a trilogy as the word continually gets thrown around in Hollywood like it does these days. If they don’t come up with something better than this next time, it’ll be a good thing they only thought about taking it that far.

Photos courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures

Movie Review: "Kung Fu Panda 2"

2011-05-25T12:38:00.000-06:00

“2” times better than the original!

***** out of 5
Rated PG for sequences of martial arts action and mild violence.
90 minutes
DreamWorks Animation

Article first published as Movie Review: Kung Fu Panda 2 on Blogcritics.

When it comes to sequels, I think it’s usually fair to assume that while live-action films tend to suffer, it’s the world of computer-animation where they thrive. Hand drawn animation sequels on the other hand generally get thrown to the shelves of direct-to-video-land where they rightfully belong. Just thinking about how many adventures they’ve squeezed out of Little Foot & Co. is beyond comprehension. However, there are also now four “Shrek” flicks and a fourth “Ice Age” headed our way in 2012. Now with “Kung Fu Panda 2,” it looks like DreamWorks has realized (as they did in “Shrek 2”) that Pixar isn’t the only one who can make a successful sequel.

The first rule to making a great sequel is about carrying on the story while also bringing forth deeper characterization. It also doesn’t hurt to aim to outdo the original but sometimes that results more in cinematic travesty than anything. Thankfully, director Jennifer Yuh takes over the reigns and shows that she’s more than up to the task of following up the fantastic original. Surprisingly, returning screenwriters Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger, also have brought themselves up to the sequel challenge. I’m sure it also didn’t hurt when DreamWorks decided to bring in Charlie Kaufman and Guillermo del Toro to do some script polishing (with del Toro added as an executive producer). While the film stays true to its roots through Aibel and Berger, Kaufman and del Toro’s fingerprints are all over this as well.

In “Kung Fu Panda 2,” we catch up with Po (voiced by Jack Black), Master Shifu (voiced by Dustin Hoffman) and the Furious Five: Tigress (voiced by Angelina Jolie), Monkey (voiced by Jackie Chan), Viper (voiced by Lucy Liu), Mantis (voiced by Seth Rogen), and Crane (voiced by David Cross), in the Valley of Peace. But before the new plot is set into motion we get a gorgeously shadow play-animated prologue involving the creation of fireworks amongst Lord Shen’s (voiced by Gary Oldman) peacocks. Shen goes on a rampage wiping out the panda civilization and thus the Soothsayer (Michelle Yeoh) determines a prophecy that Shen will be brought down by a black and white warrior and then Shen is banished from his parents’ kingdom.

Shen now sets out to develop a weapon so powerful it can stop kung fu forever and Shifu sends out Po and the Furious Five to stop a band of wolves who are stealing all the metal from the Valley of Peace. Turns out that Shen has figured out how to use black powder and is now producing canons aiming for world domination. Meanwhile, every time Po gets a flash of a certain symbol he becomes victim to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and starts having flashbacks. To anyone who’s ever seen a movie before it should be obvious as to what’s going on here as the flashbacks pertain to classically animated sequences involving Po as a baby and two characters that just may be his true parents. Yes, Po is adopted, as Mr. Ping (James Hong) tearfully finally explains to Po in a hilarious flashback sequence all his own. Now, Po must stop Shen and find inner peace, along with who he really is, before the Valley is destroyed and eventually, the world!

One of the things that the filmmakers immediately get right (as they did in the first one) is in making “Kung Fu Panda 2” first and foremost, a true kung fu film. The fight sequences here are true stand outs and bare multiple viewings. They are some of the best choreographed and beautifully animated action sequences outside of a Yuen Woo Ping live-action film. And the 3-D is finally used to bring out all the stops and looks surprisingly pretty fantastic. I’m still holding on to the belief that the only films that benefit at all from the use of a third dimension are computer animated films, but then it also gets wasted on the likes of such things as “Hoodwinked Too.” The second in keeping with the long standard tradition that all animated family films be tear jerking comedies.

And finally, that they still manage to keep things from getting too dark as to lose their target audience. Bear in mind that as was the original, this is rated PG for sequences of martial arts action and mild violence. Characters get hurt and bad guys can die; even if hilariously in a few instances. But in that this is animated, the proceedings never become too overbearing that it would ever frighten the younger audience. Peril is a most welcome return to the realm of family films as it used to be a major staple and has gotten lost as we proceed with each generation of filmgoers becoming even more sheltered pansies than the last.

Just when I thought “Rango” had this year’s Best Animated Feature all wrapped up, now here comes something even bigger and better. While “Rango” is still undoubtedly one of the best films of the year so far, it looks like Memorial weekend 2011 sets things back on track after the dismal hiccup that was last week’s “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.” Here’s hoping that audiences will eat up another helping of Po and crew as so far this is the most deserving out of this year’s summer movies. Three years ago, the original “Kung Fu Panda” went on to gross $631 million worldwide ($215 mil domestically) and honestly, “2” deserves to make twice that much.

Photos courtesy DreamWorks Animation

Movie Review: "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides"

2011-05-20T07:16:00.000-06:00

To yarr or not to yarr. More like yawn. The first sleep inducing summer flick is about to set sail.

** ½ out 5
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action/adventure violence, some frightening images, sensuality and innuendo.
137 minutes
Walt Disney Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides on Blogcritics.

Oh the law of diminishing returns how I loathe thee. This year sees so many sequels that it sort of makes your head spin if you think about it too hard. I’m bound and determined to approach each one with their own grain of salt, but some should deserve more credit walking in than others. Or so you’d think. Being predisposed to enjoy the likes of ”Scream 4” and ”Fast Five” were a given. But now, just when you thought it was safe for a fourth adventure of the ”Jester of Tortuga” comes “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.”

It’s been four years since Captain Jack Sparrow last graced the silver screen and Gore Verbinski was apparently the only one smart enough to move on to better things. As Johnny Depp returns to one of his most signature roles, screenwriters Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio have also returned. At least this time the two have taken the “suggestion” of basing “On Stranger Tides” upon the 1987 novel by Tim Powers. While they may know the Sparrow character rather well and Depp can officially play the part in his sleep, Disney has brought along a new director in Rob Marshall. Maybe the studio is still living in their heydays of 2002 when Marshall and company took home six Academy Awards including Best Picture for “Chicago,” but evidence suggests they also probably missed his last two films (“Memoirs of a Geisha,” “Nine”).

In “Pirates 4,” we begin in Cadiz, Spain; a fishing crew has netted a man bearing evidence of the long lost ship of Ponce de León. Next we’re shuttled away to London, England where returning cast mate Gibbs (Kevin McNally) is standing trial under scrutiny of being Jack Sparrow. Sparrow plops down incognito as presiding judge sentencing Gibbs to a life of imprisonment. Of course Sparrow has set everything up to help Gibbs escape. After being recaptured and taken before King George (Richard Griffiths at his fattest). Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) makes his existence to the plot known and a slick and polished “harrowing” street chase ensues. (Here’s where we find the most random cameo in years from Dame Judi Dench.)

After narrowly escaping certain death by the likes of Sparrow’s dear daddy, Captain Teague (Keith Richards), Jack investigates a doppelganger scouring for recruits. A dual proceeds and ends with finding out that Angelica (Penélope Cruz) has been manning Blackbeard’s (Ian McShane) ship. Upon said ship we learn that Angelica may or may not be Blackbeard’s daughter but that doesn’t stop Jack from trying to take over with a case of mutiny when he doesn’t believe it’s really even Blackbeard’s ship or that he’s even aboard. More swords clang clang and we learn that Blackbeard really is on board and now everyone sets sail in search for the Fountain of Youth. Also along the way, they must capture a mermaid (Astrid Berges-Frisbey) whom they need one tear from for whatever reason is explained. Meanwhile the swashbuckling continues scene after scene with the requisite explosions and one-liners along the way.

Just because there’s some new additions to the plot as in a few zombies, mermaids and voodoo dolls, doesn’t mean anything else has changed. Jack goes about his misadventures through jungles and across tree tops with some of the silliest looking CGI this side of “Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls” when he’s not fulfilling plodding filler involving attempts to seduce Angelica. Davey Jones’ Locker is a far better place for the series than up on the big screen. Usually these films tend to spend their runtime trying to outdo each successive action sequence with the next but I suppose the only way to phrase things here is with Marshall trying to undo everything. The action gets progressively more boring as it goes along and become simpler with just a few sword fights once it gets past the big mermaid sequence. The 3-D only helps to hinder everything giving the whole film a strange murky look.

And if you thought the last two “Pirates” outings were exasperating; nothing in “Stranger Tides” attempts to change that. While the plot may be the most straightforward since “Curse of the Black Pearl,” that doesn’t mean it’s any more exciting. Marshall brings absolutely no more razzle dazzle to the proceedings than Verbinski brought cohesion to “At World’s End.” All I can really do now is sum things up that this installment is strictly for die hards. But even with that in mind, no matter how many people try to tell you to just stay home and revisit the original, moviegoers are still going to come out in hordes. There’s no stopping Disney’s cash cow and they’ll continue to beat their dead horse till every last penny is squeezed from your pocketbook.

Photos courtesy Walt Disney Pictures

Movie Review: "Bridesmaids"

2011-05-12T13:13:00.000-06:00

Raise a glass and toast to the funniest movie of the year!

***** out of 5
Rated R for some strong sexuality, and language throughout.
125 minutes
Universal Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Bridesmaids on Blogcritics.

When’s the last time you laughed so hard in a movie your face hurt? Tears streaming, clutching your sides, panting for minutes afterward. It can happen. It may be few and far between lately, but just when you thought we’d seen it all from the Apatow Productions canon comes a film that does this for the first time since “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” I won’t tell you when it happens, but just be sure to prepare yourself when you buy your golden ticket to see this year’s hands down funniest film, “Bridesmaids.”

While producer Judd Apatow may be better known, director Paul Feig has had his hand in some very funny productions as well. Mostly working in the TV realm, his feature films have been fleeting with only three before this (“Life Sold Separately,” “I Am David,” “Unaccompanied Minors”) and of those three you may have only heard of one. But now Feig finally stakes his claim on the big screen. Bringing with him a “stone-cold pack of weirdos” of leading ladies comes the funniest (and surprisingly heartfelt) comedy we’re bound to see in 2011.

Special thanks has to go to the film’s First Lady, Kristen Wiig. Making her name in TV as well, she’s managed to bring us some of “Saturday Night Live’s” most memorable and outrageous characters seen on that show in some time. Mostly kept in the background stealing scenes from the likes of everyone from Jason Segel to Katherine Heigl (admittedly not hard on this one), to John C. Reilly and Will Ferrell. And don’t be so quick to pass this off as another Lorne Michaels offering. This is a shining example of the hilariously heartfelt that Apatow Productions has been offering since Feig’s own “Freaks and Geeks” first aired all the way back in 1999.

In “Bridesmaids,” Wiig plays Annie who lives with British siblings Brynn and Gil (Rebel Wilson, Matt Lucas) and works at a jewelry store owned by Don (Michael Hitchcock) as a favor to her mother (Jill Clayburgh) who sponsors him at AA. She’s also recouping from the failed opening of a bakery with her ex-boyfriend. Now Annie tortures herself through repeated one night stands with Ted (Jon Hamm) who always just wants to ask her leave feeling like a dick one minute then picking her up stranded on the road proclaiming, “Hey, fuck buddy,” the next.

Annie’s best friend since childhood Lillian (Maya Rudolph) has just gotten engaged and asks Annie to be her maid of honor. While Annie may not live for the finer things in life, Lillian has moved on and is about to marry the wealthy Dougie (Tim Heidecker, who interestingly has maybe two lines in the whole movie). At the world’s most extravagant engagement party we meet the rest of the wedding party and our pre-mentioned “pack of weirdos.” There’s Lillian’s resentfully married with children cousin Rita (Wendi McLendon-Covey), newlywed Becca (Ellie Kemper from “The Office”), and Dougie’s sister Megan (Melissa McCarthy), a female Gary Busey spinoff who talks like The Narrator in “Fight Club.”

Finally, there’s Lillian’s seemingly new best friend Helen (Rose Byrne) who’s married to Dougie’s boss and the two have become very close over the past eight months. Immediately it becomes a competition vying for Lillian’s affections between Helen and Annie with one being able to afford her the finer things in a friendship while the other brings a lifetime of companionship and memories. Annie won’t budge from her position that Lillian will always be the friend she grew up with while Helen continues to fight her tooth and nail that people grow up, change and move on with their lives. Hilarity swiftly ensues and to say anything more about what that entails would be a huge disservice. What Wiig and her co-writer Annie Mumolo (hilariously playing Nervous Woman on Plane) have in store for you is true comedy gold.

For a comedy like this to work, it’s a good thing Feig knows the first rule to such outlandish set pieces. Any time something happens that’s so funny you’re sure the audience will still be laughing five minutes after it’s happened you have to have a tiny bit of padding. While these scenes themselves feature some hilarious bits themselves, Feig, Wiig, and Mumolo know that you have to allow time for the audience to catch their breath. The Farrelly Brothers used to know this back when they made “There’s Something About Mary,” Apatow has always known this, and thankfully everyone here knows it. It’s also nice to see the rom-com elements actually work for a change. There’s surprising chemistry between Wiig and local law enforcement Rhodes (Chris O’Dowd), who’s nothing but encouraging about both their relationship and Annie getting back into the baking business.

While some of the film plays out like small vignettes, everything slowly snowballs into outright hysterics but in the sense that they should be, meaning that the audience is dying laughing. Every single cast member brings their A-game and even one of the funniest jokes gets saved for the end making sure to leave a lasting impression. Just when it looked like chick flicks had been finally run into the ground last week by “Something Borrowed” (the “Little Fockers” of romantic-comedies) comes “Bridesmaids” to set the bar (for comedies in general as well here) right back where it belongs.

Photos courtesy Universal Pictures

Movie Review: "Something Borrowed"

2011-05-06T09:41:00.000-06:00

For the love of all that's holy please go see "Thor" and not this reprehensible piece of "filmmaking."

1 star for Krasinski
Rated PG-13 for sexual content including dialogue, and some drug material.
113 minutes
Warner Bros. Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Something Borrowed on Blogcritics.

I hate it when some films are just so deplorable they don’t even necessarily deserve a review. Now let me just say this up front, in no way do I hate the chick flick genre as most would assume. I mostly just hate what it has become. Every film is exactly the same and in some ways that’s completely acceptable. What’s never acceptable is a film trying to be a warm and fuzzy feel good romp filled to the brim with absolutely loathsome, despicable, scandalous characters that we’re expected to “sympathize” with. Falling directly off the tree that was her last failed romcom – “Bride Wars” – comes Kate Hudson yet again in “Something Borrowed.”

Director Luke Greenfield should be absolutely ashamed of himself for having directed such a reprehensible piece of garbage. Screenwriter Jennie Snyder could also be to blame but surely all of this is a direct result of the source material, Emily Griffin’s novel of the same name. Why anyone would want to spend any amount of time with the trio of so-called friends gathered in this one film is beyond me. Detestable is another word I failed to mention in the first paragraph so I’m throwing it in as well. After bringing the surprise heart and hilarity that abounded throughout “The Girl Next Door” hopes were pretty high for Greenfield’s next project but now he’s somehow managed to make a film that’s even harder to sit through than his debut film, Rob Schneider’s “The Animal.” Yup, it’s seriously that bad.

“Something Borrowed” begins with a not-so-surprise party for Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin) by her since-childhood BFF Darcy (Hudson). Darcy makes a drunken speech/presentation stealing the spotlight from Rachel so she can make sure that Rachel, and anyone unfortunate enough to have bought a ticket, knows just how much she loves her dearest friend. This is also to inform her fiancée Dex (Colin Egglesfield) that her first love will always be Rachel.

After Dex and Darcy head home after the party, Dex returns to look for Darcy’s $2000 purse that she’s left behind. Dex offers to take Rachel out for an after-party at their favorite bar hangout where she admits to having a crush on him all throughout their years together in law school. Awkwardness abounds until Dex makes his move in the back of their shared cab and just wouldn’t you know it, he feels the same way and they both wake up next to each other after a night of dot dot dot. It’s here we are subjected to more awkward flashbacks involving where Rachel and Dex went wrong because neither of them made a move way back when resulting in Rachel accidentally setting up Dex and Darcy.

Now Rachel is feeling guilty for sleeping with her best friend’s fiancée but maybe not quite as much after they all spend a weekend in the Hamptons together. Rachel can’t stand hearing Dex and Darcy having sex upstairs and seeing them walking the beach together so she decides to go home early. Of course Dex offers to give her a ride back to the shuttle where he admits that he wasn’t that drunk that night and that he might feel the same way. Eventually they decide to spend the 4th of July together to figure out what’s going on, both making up excuses to get away from Darcy. Meanwhile Rachel accidentally helps Darcy write her wedding vows to Dex consisting of course of how Rachel feels about him.

Meanwhile, Rachel starts making up lies about having “affairs” with both Dex’s friend Marcus (Steve Howey) and her own best guy friend Ethan (John Krasinski). Oh, if only this movie had somehow been about Ethan. Krasinski may be best known for play Jim Halpert on “The Office” but in this film he’s literally the only actor who knows how to deliver a line and feels completely out of place. The simple reason being a plain thing called sympathy, to be exact. Ethan is so likable and genuine and knows exactly what to say and when to say it that it’s almost as if his character is from a totally separate film. If you ever have to sit through this you’ll understand completely.

There’s no real use explaining things further. Everyone begins sleeping around with someone else while feeling wishy washy about it. Let alone the fact that during the 4th of July weekend, Dex and Rachel run into and have lunch with his parents where his father (Geoff Pierson) sternly explains to him that what someone may want, isn’t always what’s right. So I guess that means the moral of this scene is that you may want to be happy (because that’s what Dex knows he’ll be with Rachel) but that doesn’t mean you should. But I just can’t shake the fact that his father’s reasoning is never ever explained as to why Dex absolutely must marry Darcy.

Is her family rich? Are they famous? Nothing is explained thus negating any reason why his father would feel this way. Thus leaving the audience scratching their head as to why Dex can’t stop being a cheating douche, call off the wedding and him and Rachel can live happily ever after. Let’s face it; anyone with a pulse knows that’s exactly where the film is heading anyway. Lest we be saved having to sit through another 40 minutes of screentime of miscommunication and not even any wackiness ensuing. But alas, then there wouldn’t be a nearly two hour movie to drudge through.

In the end, the whole thing feels like a mean-spirited cousin to one of the greatest romcoms: “My Best Friend’s Wedding.” Now there’s a film that knew how everything should be wrapped up by the end and was filled to the brim with likable characters even while Julia Roberts was trying to steal her best friend away from his fiancé. My advice would be to stay home and rewatch that film instead. Because if you’ve ever wondered why all romcoms end with the two main characters realizing they’re in love with each other instead of at the beginning, now we’ve finally learned our lesson.

Photos courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures

Movie Review: "Thor"

2011-05-05T13:29:00.000-06:00

“Thor” has arrived and gives “Captain America” and “X-Men: First Class” an early run for their money.

***** out of 5
Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense sci-fi violence and action.
114 minutes
Paramount Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Thor on Blogcritics.

During the early 2000s it seemed like superhero movies were all the craze… okay, they were. But over the last few years they’ve suddenly become fewer and farther between. Maybe it’s because by the end of the gluttonous era it seemed to be getting a little long-winded. While I might not completely agree with that, the last few were not as favored by the hardcore geeks as they were by me. “Spider-man 3” is nowhere near the monstrosity as others may claim; “The Incredible Hulk” was not the financial one-upmanship that Marvel was hoping for after Ang Lee’s “Hulk;” and even “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” wasn’t the total disaster it’s been accused of being.

While “X-Men: The Last Stand” is far from a great film, it’s still admittedly better than either of the two “Fantastic Four” films and we shall never forget the plague of “Ghost Rider,” “Catwoman,” and “Elektra,” just because Christopher Nolan blessed us with “Batman Begins” and “The Dark Knight.” And maybe Kenneth Branagh may not have been the first person who springs to mind in the director’s chair of a Marvel Comics Norse God of thunder based summer action flick. But we must remember that before he was tasked with “Thor,” he also brought us no less than five Shakespearean adaptations and has shown his hand at everything from period dramas to murder mysteries along the way. Final result – mission accomplished.

In bringing “Thor” to the big screen, I’m sure it was tasked by the credited writers (Ashley Miller, Zach Stentz, and Don Payne) to come up with something believable for modern audiences. Most people who buy a ticket probably won’t even have much background with the “Thor” character (I know I don’t) aside from knowing it’s the latest chapter in the ever-expanding universe of crossover films leading up to the big one next year – “The Avengers.” While some may have complained about “Iron Man 2” playing like just another piece of that puzzle, it definitely stood on its own and was every bit the sequel to better the original than was given credit. This summer also sees the release of “Captain America: The First Avenger;” which with the team’s inclusion of Thor (Chris Hemsworth) makes no sense whatsoever, but who’s counting? Obviously not Marvel’s marketing department.

With an opening scene featuring Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), Darcy Lewis (Kat Dennings), and Dr. Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgård) checking out weather disturbances in New Mexico, they literally crash their car into Thor in a scene right out of “Twister.” We then cut to a prologue from Asgard, featuring the voiceover of Odin (Anthony Hopkins) telling his two sons, Thor and Loki (Tom Hiddleston), the age-old drama about the evil Frost Giants of Jotunheim who’s leader Laufey (Colm Feore), is in a truce with Odin ever since he managed to seize their Casket of Ancient Winters (aka source of power).

When a trio of Frost Giants enters Asgard to take back their Casket, Thor, along with his trusty “sidekicks” the Warriors Three: Volstagg (Ray Stevenson), Fandral (Joshua Dallas), and Hogun (Tadanobu Asano); and childhood friend Sif (Jaimie Alexander), wind up threatening to break his father’s truce with the Frost Giants from venturing to Jotunheim to find out how they managed to slip into Asgard undetected. After a spectacular battle sequence, Thor is renounced of his godliness due to his arrogance and cast down to Earth along with his hammer Mjolnir of which is no longer of his use after Odin casts a spell upon it allowing only someone of worth to be able to wield its power from hereon.

Cutting back to Earth, we catch up with Jane, Darcy, and Erik as they whisk Thor away to the hospital and then back to their homebase of sorts. Sooner than later, Thor is of course taken into custody by S.H.I.E.L.D. through the order of agent Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg). Meanwhile, S.H.I.E.L.D. has found Thor’s hammer and built a small city of scientific discovery around it. To keep things simple, Thor discovers he no longer wields his hammer’s power, Erik begins to believe Thor really may be the God of thunder, and Jane begins to fall in love with the man who smashes his coffee mug demanding another after he discovers he likes it. There’s also subplots involving double-crosses and the Frost Giants potentially wreaking havoc upon Asgard after Odin falls into Odinsleep. A word of advice would be to steer clear of the film’s wiki page to keep anything under further wraps before viewing dear reader, you’ve been warned.

Branagh and his writers keep things zooming merrily along for one of the fastest 114 minutes so far this year. The whole film features an epic scope worthy of the best Shakespearean tragedies. And while some may balk at his overuse of slant shots, here’s a film where they’re far more fitting in keeping things looking as epic as they deserve as opposed to a lack of visual ideas ala John Patrick Shanley’s misuse in “Doubt.” The converted 3-D is also less burdensome than most of what’s been offered, but unless you see it in IMAX 3-D (which I unfortunately did not), it ultimately adds little unless there’s an action scene happening. Thankfully, however, there’s many.

Meanwhile, Branagh keeps things familiar for himself by bringing in composer Patrick Doyle who’s also worked with Branagh before on every single film he’s directed. Something you rarely see outside of say, Steven Spielberg and John Williams, but a good idea nonetheless as the score is all too fitting. The cast brings a level of groundedness and surprising hilarity keeping in tone fittingly with the “Iron Mans,” along with Branagh managing to keep the suspension of disbelief from getting smashed to oblivion. I’m sure this is one of the key elements that have managed to keep “Thor” in development hell for so long before. And finally, as much as I may have loved last week’s early summer entry “Fast Five,” “Thor” officially blasts the summer movie season into the stratosphere and keeps all upcoming superhero entries on their toes. And also be sure to stick through the end credits for the expected pay-off scene.

Photos courtesy Paramount Pictures

Movie Preview: May 2011

2011-05-05T07:50:00.000-06:00

Summer's off to a great start before it gets kicked up a notch in July.

Article first published as Movie Preview: May 2011 on Blogcritics.

So April wound up being a little more lackluster (at least in boxoffice form) than it originally appeared on paper, right? Now the summer movie season has finally arrived with “Fast Five” blowing all expectations out of the water, with an opening weekend more than doubling “Rio.” Shall we venture forth and see what else lies afoot?

May 6th

Two big pieces of counter-programming swing our way this weekend. First there’s another chick-flick rearing its ugly head in the form of Luke Greenfield’s “Something Borrowed,” an adaptation of a novel by Emily Giffin. Then there’s another “little” film by the name of “Thor.” Kenneth Branagh brings the mythical Norse God to the big screen and soon enough you’ll find out just how spectacular it really is. The only other thing opening is something called “Jumping the Broom” giving us no less than three wedding-themed films this month. Must be something in the air? Not that I would know, I got married last October.

May 13th

Another weekend, another wedding flick, but not just any when it comes to “Bridesmaids.” Kristen Wiig heads an all-star comedic cast of feminine proportions with Maya Rudolph, Ellie Kemper, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy and Wendi McLendon-Covey as her backups. Wiig co-wrote the screenplay and Paul Feig takes the reigns as director with Judd Apatow producing. Should give the requisite smackdown to both of the other so-called rom/coms this month and show them just how much chick flicks don’t have to suck. On the flip side comes the horrid looking 3-D horror/action flick “Priest,” based on the graphic novel series by Min-Woo Hyung. The trailer makes this look like what the “Blade” series would have been had Paul W.S. Anderson had anything to do with it. Not even Paul Bettany, Karl Urban, or Maggie Q can squeeze any interest out of this one. Don’t be surprised if it isn’t screened for press.

May 20th

Only one major opening here, and it’s probably in all other films’ best interests. When something with the title “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” is sailing into theaters, you best steer clear. Can’t really blame anything on this one, I’d never open a movie against it either. Johnny Depp returns as our beloved Jack Sparrow with pretty much an entire new cast. Something that wrings even more truth out of a quip from “Modern Family” when Claire and Phil the Dunphy proclaim their love for sequels and how eventually you get a whole new cast. Well, apparently new director Rob Marshall (Best Picture winner “Chicago”) thought this wasn’t a bad idea and it looks like only Depp and Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa are back bringing along the new additions of Penelope Cruz, Ian McShane, Gemma Ward, Judi Dench and Keith Richards on their search for the Fountain of Youth. So far this looks more in tune with the original and not anywhere near the over-blown bombast of the third but we’ll just have to see. Also, there’s “Midnight in Paris,” a new Woody Allen flick getting a limited release with an all-star cast getting paid to vacation in Paris including Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Michael Sheen, Marion Cotillard, Adrien Brody, Alison Pill, Kathy Bates and “Thor’s” own Loki, Tom Hiddleston.

May 27th

The big Memorial Day weekend sees yet another case of something for everyone as two huge sequels come beckoning. For the kiddie set there’s the return of Po in “Kung Fu Panda 2.” Originally titled “Kung Fu Panda: The Kaboom of Doom” (a longer title for sure but still hilarious all at the same time), all of the advertising makes this look like a worthy successor to the original and I can only hope so. The original was hilarious and charming while staying tried and true to its kung fu film roots. Here’s hoping new director Jennifer Yuh knows a thing or two about bringing the funny while staging some spectacular action set pieces.

Finally, there’s the one most will have been waiting for; the sequel that was greenlit before the first film was even released. “The Hangover Part II” takes the sequel title high road and heads the Wolfpack for a debaucherous night in Bangkok. If there’s anywhere else these guys can land themselves that can best Las Vegas and Bangkok the stakes have been raised if they ever think of continuing on to a third outing. At least this thing wasn’t rushed out last year. Two years in the making seems reasonable enough to come up with hopefully at least a few fresh ideas? Even if there’s been a tiny bit of production issues mainly involving everything from an axed Mel Gibson cameo, reshoots, and a disgruntled audience taken aback by its hilarious trailer premiere that got itself pulled after complaints that it was inappropriately attached to “Source Code.”

Well that’s it for May. While there’s not a whole ton of openings that could be considered a good thing for all the films involved. Plenty of good stuff too. Only two rotten-looking apples in the bunch of which most probably won’t see anyway (cough “Something Borrowed”/”Jumping the Broom” cough). So you shouldn’t have to scratch your head too much in deciding what to spend your hard-earned cash on, right? I suspect box office receipts are about to go through the roof if “Fast Five’s” opening weekend is any indicator, as all of May looks better than that one film. So sit down and buckle up, it’s going to be a fun month!

Photos courtesy Paramount Pictures, Universal Pictures, Walt Disney Pictures and Warner Bros. Pictures

Movie Review: "Prom"

2011-04-29T17:04:00.000-06:00

Skipping this “Prom” is like the best idea ever!

* out of 5
Rated PG for mild language and a brief fight.
103 minutes
Walt Disney Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Prom on Blogcritics.

I will always remember… going to my own prom with one of my good friends. She asked me because I had originally asked her to go to another dance and she already had plans (not to go). So alas, there we were at the Little America drinking water, punch, or whatever it was, but the funny thing is, the one thing I remember most was dancing with one of my best guy friends, Matt Mabey. It’s funny, the things you really remember, isn’t it? Maybe it’s because the two of us have been friends since elementary school but who knows. All I know today is that after this weekend’s opening of the new Disney film “Prom,” there won’t even be one lasting memory from anyone unfortunate enough to suffer through it.

I’ve mentioned several times in past reviews that taking my glasses off while sitting through a film is the one way my wife can tell I have had it with a particular film. “Prom” managed to make it to the 35-minute mark but that was surely pushing it. Another way I can tell whether I’m thoroughly enjoying or absolutely loathing what’s happening onscreen is whether I take any notes. Sometimes I'll write an entire review in what looks like a manifest of complaints. Granted, I may not be the target audience for a film like “Prom,” but if this is what today’s generation of pre-graduates considers their benchmark then I just can’t help but feel sorry for what they’re being spoon-fed by Hollywood.

“Prom” apparently wants to be the “ Valentine’s Day” of the season. However, that may be giving the film more credit than it deserves. “Prom” follows along a huge group of teenagers as they all fall into the traps of trials, tribulations, and ultimately, clichés, as they get ready for prom.

Brookside High School is no different than any other; you could take a checklist from any John Hughes film, or any high school film at that, and find everyone rightly in place. From overachiever Nova Prescott (Aimee Teegarden) to bad boy Jesse Richter (Thomas McDonell), wannabe lacrosse jock Lucas (Nolan Sotillo) to star lacrosse varsity jock Tyler (DeVaughn Nixon). There’s also the “Say Anything” Lloyd rip-off (Nicholas Braun), but this guy is no Dobler, that’s for sure.

The film tries to keep track of at least fifteen characters, none of whom have a real character arc; you can see their comeuppances foreshadowed the minute they’re introduced. It’s literally as if a cast of transparency sheets were thrown in front of the camera. Meanwhile, director Joe Nussbaum and writer Katie Wech (making one of the least charismatic screenwriting debuts in a long time) keep throwing around the question, “Prom?” to which the audience may simply wind up shrugging their own shoulders thinking the same thing.

Everything comes across this lackluster. It’s like watching a bad TV sitcom filmed with a laugh track in mind that someone forgot to throw in during post-production. None of the songs from the soundtrack fit either. Why would any self-respecting DJ play Taio Cruz’s “Break Your Heart?” The whole film is this misguided. It all feels so flat and thrown together that you’d think you’re watching a work print. There’s rarely any kind of background noise as if Nussbaum thought filming the scenes au naturel is a good idea for a film like this. There’s rarely even any kind of original score. Instead, anytime something even close to resembling a character moment has just another melancholy soundtrack offering that never fits the mood of what’s happening onscreen. And this happens on a regular basis. Just about every five minutes a new “twist” happens and you wish Scooby were sitting next to you to yelp out “ruh-roh.” Except that would actually be funny, unlike anything that happens here.

Finally, as much as people may have complained about some of the characters in “Scream 4,” in the opening scene featuring Aimee Teegarden playing Jenny, she converses with her friend Marnie (Brittany Robertson) – Marnie: “…if the beginning of “Stab 7” is “Stab 6,” then is the beginning of “Stab 6” “Stab 5,” and if so, what is “Stab 4” about?” Jenny: “You’re overthinking it.” Marnie: “Am I? Or did whoever make it just underthink it?”

What I think? How about we make the end of “Prom” the beginning of “Scream 4” because let’s face it, these characters are so cloying that you sit wishing Ghost Face would make an appearance and stab someone just to shut them all up.

Photos courtesy Walt Disney Pictures

Movie Review: "Fast Five"

2011-04-29T07:16:00.000-06:00

Buckle up and hang on to your butts, this season’s off to a grand start.

**** ½ out of 5
PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, sexual content and language.
130 minutes
Universal Pictures

Article first published as Movie Review: Fast Five on Blogcritics.

I have to admit up front, for better and worse I love big, dumb, fun, action movies. While the granddaddy of them all will probably forever be “Torque,” there’s always room for something new. So long as there are lots of car crashes, outlandish stunts, and loads of unintentional humor, I’m always game. This weeks’ entry into the canon that cannot be stopped comes from a long line of successors in excess – “Fast Five.”

Having now directed the last three “Fast and…” um, “Fast &...” err… films in the series; Justin Lin has really shown signs of figuring out how to piece together a spectacular action sequence. While the cast may look like they’re having a lot of fun, some of that is taken away by screenwriter Chris Morgan’s dialogue, who happens to be getting to spend his own time in the spotlight this week.

Okay, so that isn’t really the same guy responsible for bringing us some hilariously bad and even some surprisingly good screenplays at the turn of a dime. But “Wanted” was a total blast, “Cellular” was the best movie Paul Walker never made, and “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift” had its moments even without a single original cast member. Weirdly, “Fast & Furious” was the first attempt to bring back the whole crew yet seemed stuck in idle way too often. In “Fast Five,” Lin and Morgan reteam for what ultimately plays out like the series’ greatest hits collection.

“Fast Five” starts immediately where the end of “Fast & Furious” cuts to credits. Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) has been sentenced to Lompoc Prison but is rescued by Brian O’Conner (Walker) and Dom’s sister Mia (Jordana Brewster). The resulting bus crash even being poked fun at that there was not one tragedy. Now the three are on the run in Brazil and have decided to go on a job with Vince (Matt Schulze, returning for the first time since the original). At least this film has no singing birds and is thankfully not in 3-D.

This time they’re stealing some high end cars off a moving train. Faster than you can say, “vroom,” double crosses rear their heads, Vince goes missing, and now the trio must find out why Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida) wants one of the cars so badly. Turns out there’s a chip with all of Reyes’ drug trafficking stops on it and now the merry band of misfits want to clear their names, after Reyes’ men killed DEA agents back on the train, in exchange for his chip back.

They also find time to bring back cast members from all four of the last films including Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Ludacris), Han (Sung Kang), and Gisele (Gal Gadot). But now they’re being tracked down by the FBI’s number one muscleman, Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) and local agent Elena (Elsa Pataky). If this series seriously needed anything to enlighten it, it’s the addition of the man once known as “The Rock.” His lines seem so naturally hilarious there’s no way Morgan wrote them himself. Who knew that an ounce of improv on a film like this could go such a long way? On a side note, Johnson also manages to make Diesel look like a pipsqueak anytime they’re in the same shot. Not ideal for when you pit them against each other in a lengthy mano a mano brawl.

To say any more regarding the plot would be a waste of time; suffice it to say that as “Morgan” states in his interview, the cars go fast and sometimes they go boom. Director Lin has admittedly come a long way with what he can pull off using age-old pyrotechnics and stuntmen that it’s no wonder it was just announced he’s teaming up with Arnold Schwarzenegger for the next “Terminator.” One scene in particular seems almost like an extension of the city block destruction sequence in “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.” You can’t help but wonder if Lin decided to stage it the way he did as a demo to convince the Governator into sealing the deal. If that’s what it was really all about then consider me sold!

All in all, no one can ever call this a literal good movie. For what it is however, it’s a great movie. Even with the runtime clocking in at 130 minutes it flies right by as all good actioners should. Pumped with more adrenaline and testosterone than all of the first four films combined, “Fast Five” delivers on all counts, where it counts. Fans of the series will eat this up with a spoon (myself included). And what more could you really ask for as the summer film season officially explodes into cinemas this weekend?

Photos courtesy Universal Pictures

Movie Review: "Scream 4"

2011-04-18T12:24:00.000-06:00

Reboot? Remake? Sequel? How about all of the above?!

***** out of 5
Rated R for strong bloody violence, language and some teen drinking.
111 minutes
Dimension Films

Article first published as Movie Review: Scream 4 on Blogcritics.

Having driven my wife crazy for (at least) months now, relief is probably the only word I could use to describe this passed weekend. An overgrowing excitement has been barely contained as I have slowly waited for the release of what was sure to be one of my favorite movies of the year. As my wife also told me, “Some people have “Star Wars,” others have “Lord of the Rings,” you have “Scream.”” While “Scream 4” is admittedly far from what one would ever call a “best picture,” it definitely succeeds on all counts for what it should. And in the realm of all the remakes, reboots, and never-ending cases of sequels, “Scream 4” has finally arrived to show everyone that it can still be done right.

When the original “Scream” graced my local silver screen back in December 1996, it quickly ushered in a whole new era of horror film by shining a light on its loving audience, myself included. Here was a movie where all of the characters have seen, love, and cherish the horror genre. They know all the rules of how to survive a horror film, but that couldn’t keep them from falling under the knife of director Wes Craven and screenwriter Kevin Williamson. Upon its release, fans said to themselves, “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.”

Then “Scream 2” followed up almost exactly one year later in 1997 and set up its funhouse mirrors on sequels themselves. Unfortunately, by the time “Scream 3” arrived in February 2000, Williamson had departed and Ehren Kruger, in spite of a fitting last name, wound up bringing what should have been a spectacular close to a true trilogy, dragging its heels across the finish line. The arrival of cameos from Jay and Silent Bob will forever be the biggest sore spot no matter what any further sequel could bring. Finally, Craven and Williamson are back together as they belong to set the series right again.

Ten years have passed since Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) last fought off that fiendish Ghost Face. She’s returned to Woodsboro as the last stop of her self-help book tour before she settles down to start her life over while bunking with her aunt Kate (Mary McDonnell) and niece Jill (Emma Roberts). In classic opening scene fashion however, Jenny and Marnie (Aimee Teegarden and Brittany Robertson) are brought under Ghost Face’s knife while just trying to have a nice night of watching “Stab 7.” Yes, the “Stab” series has turned into quite the money maker and it was only after Sidney threatened to sue after the third film that the filmmakers decided to just start making stuff up.

With the latest murders rearing their heads and now-Sheriff Dewey (David Arquette) on the scene with bored-out-of-her-mind-after-ten-years-of-marriage Gale Weathers-Riley (Courteney Cox) on his heels, its all everyone can do to keep the new cast members from being cut into fish sticks. Who’s the new killer? Is it Kirby (Hayden Panettiere), Charlie (Rory Culkin), or Robbie (Erik Knudsen), the trio of horror aficionados of which the boys are heads of the local Cinema Club at Woodsboro High? Deputy Judy (Marley Shelton), former classmate to Sidney herself? Or could it once again be a case of the obvious: Jill’s ex-boyfriend Trevor (Nico Tortorella)?

A few other fresh faces could either be targets or suspects including Sidney’s publicist Rebecca (Alison Brie), or a couple of Woodsboro’s finest, Detective Hoss (Adam Brody) and Deputy Perkins (Anthony Anderson, the first actor to have appeared in both a “Scream” and “Scary Movie”). In true Williamson fashion, Hoss and Perkins both know all too well the rules of being a cop in a scary movie, even if they should be sharpening the requisite rules of simply being in a scary movie. With the town’s annual “Stab”-a-thon (a “Rocky Horror Show” style marathon of all seven “Stab” films) on the horizon, a party could just be the place to either find and stop Ghostface or become another part of the slaughter.

But what would the slaughter be without the last eight letters of the word, right? Even if producers Weinstein thought Kruger being brought in for some script polishing was a good idea, at least this time you can’t really tell. “Scream 4” takes aim at all of the Platinum Dunes remakes (ranging from the better: “Friday the 13th,” the worst: “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning,” to the completely unnecessary: Wes Craven’s own “Nightmare on Elm Street”). They also find time to run the “Saw” series (aka “torture porn”) across the coals while bringing to light the latest trend of “found footage” which is really funny when you consider that Dimension Films next horror release is exactly that (“Apollo 18”). Let’s also not forget that live streaming, all things internet and the word “meta” get sent up and used at their own expense too

A sense of surrealism and nostalgia collide for an extra fast paced 111 minutes with bigger jokes and more blood than the series has seen since the original. Craven was literally born to make the “Scream” films or at least the same of this ilk as he did a lot of the same things back in “Shocker” and “New Nightmare.” Here things are far finer tuned thanks to another shining script from Williamson (even if Kruger may have tried to dumb things down a little bit). Thankfully the cast livens those moments up even while they are few and far between. So while this weekend’s opening numbers may not have been up to the series standards, hopefully we can spread some loving word of mouth to the fan base and let the rest of us know that we can all breathe easy as the “Scream” series returns to its roots and takes its own stab at a whole decade’s worth of horror failure. Welcome back Woodsboro, we’ve missed you.

Photos courtesy Dimension Films